Next level

Post Reply New Topic

I seem to be able to meet alot of women lately but simply don't know how to predict when to take it "further". And by "further" I mean by taking a friendly episode and turning it into a romantic encounter. I can't seem to predict what a girl wants unless she just jumps on me or starts kissing me. I imagine lots of you have this problem too.

Yes. I had the very same problem when I was young. I ended up being with some pretty loose women through most of my young adult life since they made it very clear what they wanted. (I'm not joking).

I met the wonderful (not a loose bone in her body) NT woman whom I married when I was 30. I was 32 when we married. By then, I had developed some skills along he lines of discerning what a woman was interested in.

My mother was overwhelmed. After the kinds of women I had dated, she was delirious with joy at the one I married.

I'm not sure what to say, except that it's like socializing in general for us. It is a learning process that takes us a long time while NT's seem to pick up on it naturally.

Here's a good technique you can try. Watch a movie together; it should be either something romantic, like The Notebook, or a horror movie like The Shining. Try cuddling with her during the movie. Stroke her hair as you cuddle; I've read somewhere that a lot of girl find this pleasurable. If she doesn't move away, or better yet, presses into you, it's safe to move to the next level (i.e. go for the kiss).

They always move away with me.

That has happened like 3 times...so thats what the puckering meant!?!?

What exactly do you mean "romantic" There are many types of romantic. Maybe you are just going after the wrong type of romance for you're personality.

Me and my girlfriend still are not sexually active with one another (or anyone else), but I would consider us far more romantically involved than many other couples that are. This is one thing to keep in mind.

After all, what do you want out of a relationship? Is it just sex, or do you want a partner you can be with and understand; Someone to spend your life with?

With my girlfriend I had to go a lot slower than that. We had already established that we felt what we had was a romance from the start, but things really didn't get going until we started relying on each other for emotional support.

The manner in which emotional support is given can change the whole aspect of a relationship. To put it simply, and as down to earth as we get here. If physical contact is used to comfort a person, such as a gentle rub on the shoulder, that means you are a lot more than friends, but if something common like non-embracing hug, or talking is used, then you aren't. As you grow more attached romantically, the gestures increase, often including ones that purely represent your bond (hand-holding in public, embracing hugs, leaning on each other, or other forms of cuddling in private and/or at other appropriate times.)

I would have to say that I've never been attracted to those women. I found that women who "try to hard" are a major turn off for me. It seems they only are interested in one thing in a relationship.

It seems too many people see the stereotype that only guys have that attitude towards relationships. While, it is more blatantly displayed by a larger number of guys, the number of women that have the attitude are about the same, it is just many are far more subtle about it.

I may have a new lease on relations now. The girl is extremely easy to talk to and seems to keep me intrigued and interested which is a sharp contrast to my past experiences. Something just feels right and the more I stay calm, the easier it seems to be. In past experiences I always felt that I was a sideshow to women and one girl even put on a cutie-pie act only to come out as a total whore who didn't care about anything or anyone.

No, I am not a sex feind and by romantic encounter I pretty much mean "making out". Thanks for the responses.

I quite agree. I have a boyfriend in my highschool, and we are not sexually active yet, even though in February it will be our 2 year anniversary since he's asked me out. It seems as if we are in this relationship because despite our differences we could understand eachother. He has taken to talking about marriage a couple times (without us in the picture), but I don't know what to say if he says we should get married out of highschool. I think that that's sort of irresponsible since we are only highschoolers (and most highschoolers don't know what true love even is) and we might be interested in other people when we both head off for college (he says he's going to go into the military). I think that right now we understand eachother, but later we won't. I think it's because that later in our relationsip, he told me that he was a pagan; I think that would be a little too different for an individual (like me) who has Christian beliefs to get married. I just want to get my life started first and be single again for a few years, try going to college and getting a good job and earning some money for things, plus travel a little. I am happy, however, that he never pushes me into having sex with him, and he knows that I'm a Christian and all. But sometimes I do hear from other people that he lies, I notice (and he even acknowledged it) that he has a temper problem, and he swears quite a bit, which are all kind of cues as to how he could be in his real life at home. I just think it's a good highschool relationship that should not go any further, and I think that that's all that it should be. Hopefully he has the same feelings as me, because I'd feel very bad if he didn't; I just don't want to be pressured to move into something that could change the course of my life so abruptly. I'll probably pray about it and I know the answer will be good, since in my personal view everything sort of leads to something, and maybe after highschool I could find the right guy to be with for my life.