So, now I have a boyfriend

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A real boyfriend, not someone who waffles back and forth about their level of attraction to and seriousness about me. We meet several times a week and we talk about all sorts of things and we're very caring with each other. But though we've only just got together, there are a lot of things that give me pause.

For one thing, he's only 19. I am 28... almost nine years older than he is. He's pretty responsible and mature for his age but still, the difference in our ages means we have a different set of priorities. I have a job but he is still in college. I've had more experience with relationships, and I'm the first girl he's ever been serious with. He's still idealistic and I've learnt to be more practical. I'm hoping the things we have in common will outweigh these differences, but so far it's still too soon to tell.

Also, I'm not used to someone who wants sex all the time. My last boyfriend was AS and severely depressed and only wanted sex on alternate Thursdays when the moon was full and the wind was in the east, and though that wasn't often enough for my liking, I'm not the sort of person who generally does the deed several times a week. I prefer kissing anyway, but I know that sex drive is very powerful for most people and I feel that if I'm going to be in a serious relationship, I have to be prepared for this sort of thing.

Does anyone have any thoughts? Any advice on how to break it to him that I'd prefer to have sex occasionally and engage in other activities most of the time?

If you've been with him a short time, try not to rush things. Maybe set the mood. Sometimes doing the deed too soon can destroy a relationship before it's started

Well, I saw this show once where this really old lady gave sex advice to couples. In one instance, she made it clear to one man that it his not his responsibility to satisfy every sexual crave of his partner, that she could masturbate. I'd assume the converse is true as well: you are not responsible for fulfilling all of his sexual desires and he should masturbate too. You should not be required to do what you do not want to.

Of course, this solution might have a side effect. You'll probably need to accept or ignore the fact that he'll probably be looking at porn.

As far as the age difference, don't worry about it. Just enjoy it for and be glad you found someone. If the sex becomes to much, just tell him you don't need it as much. He should understand that.

Unfortuntately in the eyes of many a man; especially the younger ones, women who don't put out usually get put out! As bad as it sounds for a guy to get a certain ammount of sex and then have it taken away will not be happy. I see two foreseeable options the second of which I would slide towards. Option A. is you slowly ween him off the sex by making yourself gradually less available. This way might not be as noticible to him as like just saying, "lets have less sex" but may also backfire in the end. The there is option B and this is simply to start to enjoy sex more! A properly satisfied woman usually enjoys sex more than the man. Most women are multiorgasmic and can have a lot of fun given they really enjoy their partner. There are so many books and guides and interesting things written about sex that you could learn to diverisy your sex life. The possibilities are almost endless. Keep things fresh and your relationship will stay healthy. Of course I'm not talking about always succombing to the demands of him; just compromise and do things together (literally haha) and just think of it as pleasure instead of work!

Hope that helped