Debating if I should get cops involved?

Post Reply New Topic

I posted before about a guy who invited me to clean his house with him.for our first "date" hes been pissed sending me messages about how I shouldn't have bailed and how the next time I do and I quote "we're going to have some problems." I have the text.on my.phone just in case i decide to get the police involved

I'll admit I said I did not mind hanging out with him and coming over but that only after I got to know him first regardless i dont like being threaten.

And now I'm definitely not coming over his house or going anywhere with him. This is so frustrating I gave someone a chance and I told.him where I lived (before he showed he started sending me these text-) and now I'm scared hes going to hurt me because I changed my mind.

I know I shoudnt have said I would come over I'm always trying to please people. if you guys dont believe me I'll post the text messges here. Like snips of it


He also said it was "messed up and dangerous" that I said I would come over and didnt I asked him.whay he meant by that and he never replied to me now I'm just constatly looking out my window scared ill.be one of those girls in the news murdered by some crazy dude

Any advice??? . Sorry for typos I'm in a hurry right now

First off, if you feel threatened by him, then terminate ever seeing him again, period. Just take it off the table. Block his emails or phone messages. It sounds like this was a first date rather than something more serious like going steady. Therefore I do not think he will try and harm you for not seeing him again. But if he is persistent in trying to see you again over your objections then you might file a police report for stalking and maybe even put a restraining order against him. In modern society sometime a male who invites a female to his house means he is inviting you to his house to have sex. So you might interpret the visit as hanging out; whereas he may have other things on his mind.

Another perspective is "we're going to have some problems" may not be a threat. Rather he might be saying that unless progress is made, our relationship will have problems. But then how is he defining progress?

[According to the urban dictionary - one of the meanings for the word "cleaning" is "having fun with your partner in a sexual manner."]

Yeah, I already posted what I thought about the guy in your first post about him. My opinion of him hasn't changed. You owe him nothing and he sounds like someone you should stay far away from and if he is threatening you, yes you should involve the police.

viewtopic.php?t=375594

It seems like he’s using careful language - he’s trying to be threatening while still getting away with it.

I would talk to the police and see what they say, though. There were times when I wish I would’ve called the police for being threatened but didn’t.

Definitely, save the text and proceed with caution.

Being threatened really sucks!

If you feel threatened by him then I would tell him in a calm and firm manner to stop talking to you(by phone preferably) and record or make a copy of it. Just blocking him most likely wouldn't be enough because technology is unreliable and if something was wrong with the machine that caused it not to block him you would have no proof so any "resistance" from just blocking him is not really reliable.

Keep a record, but for now it'd likely be best to tell him to f off and block him on everything you can. If he comes to your house or something, call the police right away.

Wait you told him where you live?

Yeah, it was a terrible idea, please don't do this again.

Tell him you're not interested in talking or seeing him anymore and cut contact - make it crystal clear that further messages etc are unwelcome. If he persists, take the whole thing to the police. Hopefully, he's not crazy enough to come to your place, but I would be more careful for a while, maybe ask a friend or family member to spend some time with you if you feel scared.

This is why you have the first few dates in public places.

Concern: I almost wanna apologize to you for saying on your other thread that should cancel w/him and don't owe him anything. But it's obviously good you took my and others' advice nonetheless. What everyone else has said on this thread sounds right. He sounds shady at best. You don't need creepy guys bothering you. There are enough normal/kind/sane ones out there, you can probably find one of those some time in the future instead.