frustrated

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1. i'm a 27 yr old single female with AS. i've been single for over a year, but that's nothing new... i've gone decades without dating anyone.

2. i've done some really awesome things with my life so far (ON MY OWN), and accumulated a lot of respect in certain areas (music, photography, design). i'm not saying i'm famous, but i'm not unknown either.

3. people tell me i'm very attractive.

4. some men can't control themselves, and i've got myself into bad situations because of this, and also because i fail to read "the signs". so, there are some issues of trust there.

5. i seem to only attract a**holes, or insecure boys. there is no middle ground. i'm never pursued by someone who has the same interests as me or feels equally as "successful" with what they have to offer.

6. people tell me i am extremely intimidating, and this is why i have problems dating (aside from AS obstacles).

7. i'm really picky (aren't we all), but when i find something i want, i go after it. in regards to dating, this usually is one-sided.

8. i'm tired of being single, but i am not going to dumb myself down for anyone, or put a paper bag over my head (i have considered this on more than one occasion).

9. i'm tired of sitting at home every night playing video games by myself.

any suggestions?

finding male friends is the best thing that leads to a good romantic relationship. find men to talk to on the cell phone, on AIM, to go shopping together (lol), go to ballgames, whatever. after you are friends with them for a year or two then you can easily couple up.

This probably isn't very helpful, but maybe try to concentrate on making friends who share your interests and will listen to you without making you feel castigated. I'm not trying to make it sound easy, because it's not, and maybe you already have people who are supportive and fun to hang out with, but it might be healthier than focusing on a relationship as something that will help you feel more loved, complete, or happy. Relationships have their own set of complications and stressors, and it's very easy to feel lonely even when you are in one.

Who knows, maybe if you can find a friend or two that fit that criteria, something more will just naturally develop from your friendship?

arkityp takes great digital pictures - check out the site. so photography is a great way to make friends

the only friends i have are male... they are just friends, nothing more. i don't get along with females due to jealousy issues and a general lack of respect for getting by without selling my body to get ahead.

thank you

then you are MADE to have a great love/dating relationship with a man.

For one, get over yourself. You seem to have a high opinion of yourself, maybe the success you have had as gone to your head.




All people are different some you can trust some you can't.



BTW what is wrong with people that are insecure? to me that shows that someone is more human.



Be less picky and judgemental.

^Bogan, you read my mind.

I'm not trying to speak for her, but I think you're both confusing having pride in her accomplishments, and concerns from past experiences, as arrogance and pretention.

It is good to have height self esteem, but you could practice some modesty. Remember a**holes are not short of confidence either, and they may be attracted to people who like to sing their own praise.

I’m not sure I get it. Are you trying to sell your body or not? You can't expect people not to resent you if you resent them. What are these 'jealousy issues'? They may hold you back in getting a partner. Maybe it is because you are competitive, I don't know, but if it holding you back with those attributes then you should probably rethink your strategy.

If you are sitting at home playing video games, then you don’t have enough interests. It is true that you need to go meet people in order to get a partner. Everyone knows it, even if they are stalling.

What makes you think that can't be all of the above?

Most resentment is borne out of frustration, it doesn't make it a good thing.

Nothing concrete, just how I interpret her comments as opposed to how everyone else seems to. I'm not saying I'm wrong or right, I just find it odd that people are making value judgments about her character like "get over yourself" based solely on things like a brief mention that she's accomplished some things. I assumed that she brought it up because she occasionally gets obsessive fans who take their adoration as an invitation to hit on her. I also don't understand how playing video games means a lack of other interests, but then, I often play video games when I'm depressed and don't really feel interested in anything more involving than passively blowing things up or whatever.

wow this trainwrecked quickly.

i find it amusing that after hating myself for 27 years, i finally seek therapy to build self-esteem (recently), and i'm told that i'm full of myself. nothing could be further from the truth. that's your defense mechanism kicking in because you're subconsciously jealous that i might be more accomplished than you (or you're misinterpreting my words, as irikarah pointed out - which i vote most likely).

guess what? accomplishments have nothing to do with worth. we're all equal. so, once you figure that out on your own (because you're not going to learn it by some random girl telling you over the internet), you can learn to get over yourself, too.

i am definitely not competitive at all. in fact, if there's a competition (for example, in dating someone), i will just walk away.

just because i mentioned video games doesn't mean i sit at home all the time. i don't even know where that came from? judgment what!?

the persons who actually know me will tell you that i am humble about what i do, and i don't let it go to my head. apparently a mere mention means i'm boasting, and if i ask for suggestions, i'm attacked.

you guys aren't any better than NTs.

intimidating? in what way?

i see that i tend to freak people out as well, but i don't really get how. people told me that i am the most "random" person they ever met.

i guess my command of the english language, being able to do many things, ? i have no idea. could also have to do with my appearance, which would be hilarious if it was.