Horrified by commitment?

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Maybe I am. Everytime a girl tries to create any sort of bond I think she is acting by instinct, hence, trying to catch me to marry me and have babies and a family, which I don't want. Im 21, really all I want is to have fun, temporarly with a girl, maybe that's the case with those girls, but I feel that are only trying to trap me. I see all these love/relationships things as a step to marriage and reproduction. That's why there are different levels .... knowing ... going out ... boyfriend. All stages prior to being a boyfriend is a test period to see if you are going to be a good boyfriend. In the boyfriend stage you have to prove you are a good candidate to be a husband and parent, if you pass the test you proceed to marriage. All that thinking is making me paranoid. It happens too with people who try to be my friend, I imagine them thinking of me as an investment "yeah this guy is a candidate to spend the rest of my life as a friend", and I imagine myself older playing poker at their house and attending their marriages and asking about updates in their life.... arghhh.

are you more worried about being a good candidate or about being a poor candidate?

I'm worried about being considered a candidate in the first place.

what about that worries you?

Like I said, it leads to marriage and reproduction, which I don't want.

I'm afraid of commitment to the wrong person, but I don't understand how marriage is a death sentence to "having fun."

What results from this worry as far as how you respond to relationships (not limited to romantic relationships)?

And for people that are possibly interested in being your friend, the marriage and reproduction factor wouldn't apply. What is the worry in that case?

You are very young. Don't worry if a girl gets close to you.

Befriend her, go out with her, be her boyfriend, etc. I don't think any girl with good mental health would think about marriage at such an early age.

I tell you because i used to run from those situations, just like you, now i am a lonely man, a stranger in a strange land and i regret it.

Like the poster above me wrote, I don't think girls at your age are looking for commitment either. They're out there to have fun and perhaps fool around (just be safe!), just like you are.

To be more specific, marriage is a death sentence to having fun for men only. Why? Look at a couple of popular sitcoms. Take Malcolm in the Middle: it has a spiteful, domineering wife, and a good-hearted but henpecked husband who she treats like sh*t. Or consider Married with Children: it has a wife who's generally happy, and a husband who's generally unhappy. Or if you use a newer example, The World According to Jim; the wife always acts whiny and emotional, and constantly makes her husband look and feel like an idiot.

Sure, they're all fictional, but the ideas have to have come from somewhere. If a writer of a famous show saw enough of these situations to use them in his show, then they must be very common in real life. So it's no surprise that marriage really is a death sentence to enjoying life, but for men only. Women, however, can continue being happy even after marriage.

Well just keep in mind not all women want spawnlings.

As for commitment, yeah I can relate. As I said in another thread, the idea makes me think of a ball and chain wrapped around one's own ankle.