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kLeighm
Emu Egg
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Joined: 1 Dec 2013
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 3

02 Dec 2013, 1:05 am

Oh, dear. I have yet to think of a week in the past... um, 34 years in which I haven't been taken advantage of in some way.
Some are more dramatic than others, some people are more cruel, some want money, some want to humiliate me so that they can feel better about themselves, and some- they do it harmlessly, because it is simply part of their personality.

I often don't find out until far, far later. And when I figure it out, I analyze the interaction over and over again, feeling terrible about myself. 8O



WaraFujiAng
Tufted Titmouse
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Joined: 23 Nov 2013
Age: 45
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Posts: 42

27 Dec 2013, 8:25 am

Either too trusting or suspicious of everyone. I try to tone it down, but I think I attract the wrong types because I'm polite and look so young. When people take advantage of me I become cold and aloof, and then people tell me to smile and be more friendly and that's when I invite more trouble again. I prefer being cold and aloof. That way I attract the people who get it.



Sherry221B
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Joined: 28 Oct 2013
Age: 125
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Posts: 670
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27 Dec 2013, 8:30 am

I think I was once what could be considered too "trusting" , but I had to pay the price for it....That's what happens when you want to think that there's good in everybody...WRONG. I learned of all those mistakes. I'm not doing them again. "No one is worth the aggravation." Just like the song says.



Autinger
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Joined: 27 Aug 2012
Age: 38
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Location: Valkenswaard, Noord Brabant, The Netherlands.

27 Dec 2013, 3:37 pm

I've decided that whenever I "help" someone I do it for -me-, because I like doing it. If they ask me something out of "abusing my niceness", I feel like I'm outplaying them at their own game.

Maybe not the best tactic, but it allows me to not keep score, for example, when it comes to buying people something to drink or eat.



namaste
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Joined: 14 Apr 2011
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Location: Hindustan

04 Jan 2014, 1:18 pm

have been used as a doormat and tissue paper by everyone including parents, sibling, so called friends, hubby, son


:?


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KWifler
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Joined: 11 Aug 2011
Age: 39
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Posts: 236
Location: Bellingham, WA, USA, Earth

04 Jan 2014, 8:36 pm

I only get taken advantage of by my family. Everyone else seems to be too afraid to socialize with me to take advantage.
Whenever a family member wants me to do something, I always assess whether I can do it or not, and if I can do it without harming my health, I do it. When their requests started destroying my health, I had to start telling them no, and they go on rants about how unhelpful I am and how worthless and bad of a person I am. My dad is especially vocal about what he wants from me.
I went to get government assistance for getting employment and education, and all they did was take advantage of me, telling me that it would be good for me and that it would help me get a job, but all anything they asked me to do did was damage my health. Finally I collapsed from exhaustion and had to quit.
They even asked me to return and continue, and they even told me that they would get a bonus check if I succeeded! I finally told them that if they didn't give me the support I needed, that I couldn't work with them anymore.
One good thing did come from the government experience though. They hired someone to test whether I am capable of holding a job, and it turns out that I am. That person helped me to develop as a person more than anyone in my family or friends had ever done during the course of my life, and never treated me the way I am used to being treated. I had the opportunity to tell this helpful person about my family, and was immediately told that it seemed like I was being dramatic, but I was so consistent and repetitive about my stories that I was finally told that my family situation is very toxic.

Now, I obsessively keep track of all of the scores that every person has with me, although, because my family relationship is so unhealthy, they try to pass off helping with my necessary needs as favors. Luckily, I have found out that they expect me to yell and scream at them just like they do to me, in order to get a break, and it makes them respect me more. I still happily do favors for them, and I avoid asking for favors in return. Still, I would almost rather live under a bridge than spend another day here with them. Even so, I haven't encountered anyone who would be willing to have me at their house.


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Kalika
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Joined: 25 Oct 2011
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 219

05 Jan 2014, 12:15 pm

FreedomToCare wrote:
I don't think that it's just those with Autism that are targeted this way. There are many NTs who are simple minded (not in the sense of their intelligence but how they judge others) - this trait can prevent people from seeing the dark side of others and continue them manipulating you.


Or sometimes they just can't/won't stand up for themselves. My mom used to be like that with my sister and her husband - they'd often stop by unannounced and want her to babysit their kids, and no matter how inconvenient it was, Mom NEVER said "No".