Body Language

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Ok, I dont understand why people make this so important to themselves. I can imitate a person and act exactly like them and do all the body langauge that they do and their voice. But I never judge people based off of those things. I only judge people based off how they treat me or what they say to me.
I see the body language and I can imitate it exactly, I just fail sometimes at knowing what it actually means. I am not completely clueless, but I am clueless to the reason that people, employers and so forth make it such a big deal.

People tell me that I rarely make facial expressions and that their always just plain. I dont notice that, this si completely normal for me. Now if I were to meet a person like me, I'd notice the lack of facial expressions as I imitate him or her but I wouldnt connect it to anything negative like most people do.

Idk, it seems that NTs are sort of petty in a way about a bunch of ridiculous s**t. I dont know why they connect my lack of facial expression to being high, or being sad, or mad, or upset, or weird. its stupid.

join the club. i'll get some t-shirts printed. maybe some coasters or mousemats as well.


i turned up for english & german languages at school, but no one told me about the body language class.

I never really did understand the whole concept of body language. It just seems so foreign to me. Why is it so important? So that everybody can look "normal"?

I have a hard enough time with the verbal language in/out processing.
Speaking and listening can be confusing at times, body language is not recognized in real time.
I can however recognize someones walk or body movements and gestures from quite far away.

I think it's so important to them because its how THEY read US. If they can't read US easily like they can the other people around them, we become the 'unknown'. Something most people are naturally suspicious or uncomfortable with.

We have learnt, over the years growing up, how to read people the best we can, without even noticing the subtle body language and facial expressions that NT's use to do the same.

It stands to reason to me that if we don't use the same ques as NT's to read people we won't easily understand or see the importance of those ques to NT's either.

As CockneyRebel said "It just seems so foreign to me."

And that's because it is foreign.

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck........it's probably a duck.

Peace ellomo

I think the thing to realize (I'm NT, by the way) is that nobody consciously thinks about body language - it simply unconsciously influences your impression of a person's mood, attitude towards you, etc. So, it's difficult for an NT to let go of this, because they usually aren't aware that they are interpreting body language in the first place.

NTs only think about it, usually, if somebody's body language is especially weird or hostile. For example, last night I was with a friend, and we were talking to a group of people we didn't know - and one guy had his back turned to her, as though refusing to acknowledge her. She was quite pissed off by this, and we spent a few minutes later analyzing it. (And no, he definitely wasn't AS or anything - just a not-very-nice person. If I meet somebody who appears to be AS, I'm much more forgiving about this type of stuff. Which is why more NTs should learn about Aspergers.)

I always thought that the body thing was ridiculous too. Then I started to study the NT and tried to see their ways. The NT was brought up to believe the body bible. It is just something that has been passed down but there is some truth in body language. The human being is three different things. He is the mind, the body and the soul (some dont want to admit this last one) but we can admit that the mind and body are real, think of them as independent. Like the show ninja turtles, where they had the guy who was a walking body but the brain inside of his stomache was actually telling him what to do. The NT's have come up with ways to "catch lying aspers" by body language because the asper isn't aware of it as much as the normal person. Your body does things autonomously that give indications to the other person. You can say one thing but your body will do another. Its a lie detection mechanism.

Personally I find body language fascinating (they do have classes about it, I studied it some in college). Perhaps this is because I'm not very good at it and had to consciously learn the things that the "normal" people did unconsciously. But when you become aware of those things and practice them, it's kind of fun because you can speak this language and send signals to the other person that the other person is not consciously aware of. It's also really hard of course. Do not think I am a pro or anything, I'm always having people telling me how rude I am by acting this way or that way, and I am aware of only a fraction of the body language that is going on, so I stand out horribly. A lot of the reason I stand out is because I'm not speaking the body language, but oftentimes the "normal" people are not aware that this is why I'm standing out, they either just find it very uncomfortable for imprecise reasons, or they interpret my action or lack of action as they would if an NT was doing it (often leading to incorrect assumptions).

Maybe I find it so interesting because it was the first thing I noticed that I could do to get a less negative reaction from people in conversation, years before I even heard of Asperger's, but when I first realized something was really "off' in me compared to in other people. The little nods and facial reactions when another person is speaking that I didn't have... when I started consciously faking them even a little bit things started to improve and I realized there was a breakthrough here. It's just the tip of the iceberg but there is really a lot you can study in the area that might help and also be interesting .

I find body laungauge, especially facial expressions confusing. For example, one of the leaders at my local St. John cadet section will smile when she is being sad or sarcastc (I also don't get sarcasum). Eye contact is also really anoying, For some reason if people cannot see my eyes they get really annoyed with me (I look away or at there ears but hey) though I only need one friend (friends arn't that high on my list of priorities) and as he is Dyslexic so he understands me when I get anoyed because people asume I can read body laungage, while makeing sure my diction is correct as well as keeping my balance and attempting to filter all the distractions (it never works but still). Normal people are wierd. Still I find body laungage interestoing but uneccesery. Though I would like to learn more about it.

What does NT stand for???

James

Hehe, I'm like a multi-threat/ offender to certain laws that aren't written in society's little handbook.

I have little to no filter, my tone doesn't reflect my feelings, and my body tends to send off the wrong message to the point where I figure that I am pretty much going to play the characteristics through if misunderstood. Just because I look away doesn't mean that I'm angry. The same if I say something in a bit of a rough tone. It could mean that it's something that excites me. As far as no filter, that is my most dangerous game. If given the opportunity, I will give a raw opinion even if it is for the moment.

My problem is that I actually love doing this because I don't like the idea of completely conforming. I will try on occasion to keep in check, but sometimes, I rather not bother with trying this.

In return, I misconstrue almost everything. I even flip out when my mother clears her throat because it feels like when she does that, it's going to be followed by criticism or some reason why my younger sister is so much better than I am, in spite being older than her. It's to the point where I really don't talk much to her.

I hate it when people go to me "Whyy doo youuu speak in a monotoooone and slowlyyy" it is really anoying!! !


Also a few days ago I saw this body laungage therapist, she did not get that I do not feel personal space, my body reacts but as hse defined it as a feeling that you feel concously I do not have personal space. She could not get my point. Also she was saying that saying "Please could you take a step back I feel um-comftable" makes the person on the reciving end feel rejected even though you are only asking them to take a few steps back.
James

I got an interest in reading body language when I was a teenager. The reason is because I learned the majority of people are 2-faced liars, so I wanted to know what they REALLY were thinking inside.

Another reason is cuz I am gay. I spent a large amount of my adolescence watching the body language of others, trying to see if they were "like me" or not. Now I have really decent gaydar. Body language is very telling and should be paid attention to.

Body language is the one type of language, that I will never understand.

This is the body language I understand: head nodding up and down=yes, Heading moving side to side=no

What I understand the least is winking. What is the deal with winking? Does it mean that the winker is lying or trying to hit on me? I dont get it and dont think I ever will.