Should I tell people about my AS?

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I've told a few friends and only one of them seems to really understand. The others either don't care or don't understand. I was diagnosed years ago and have hid it pretty well from most people. Should I just keep it hidden forever?

I wouldn't say "hidden", but just keep it as any other personal information about yourself.
What you said about only one of them understanding and the others don't understanding/caring is what will happen almost everywhere you talk about it.
So, just say it if something happen and it's necessary to say or if you are feeling comfortable to talk about it.

Hmm.. interesting. I guess what I'm saying is that I feel I need to say it sometimes but I don't want to look like I'm using it as an excuse.

I think the need to say it comes from the need everyone has to be seen and accepted for who and what they are.

I know that I ALWAYS want to disclose. I want to know that it's OK. That I can be seen for what I am and still be wanted. That I can relax-- I don't have to walk on eggshells every minute of every interaction, I don't have to monitor every word and every step, I don't have to be constantly on guard against The Big Bad Wolf. I don't have to pretend, I don't have to hide, I don't have to live in Threat Level Orange.

I can ask for help if I have a problem without being afraid of being mocked or rejected or having it go the way it's gone 1,000 times before.

At risk of being simultaneously pop-culture and clichéd, I want to hear "You don't have to shut me out, you don't have to slam the door, you don't have to keep your distance any more. For the first time in forever, I finally understand..." I want to hear it, and have it be true, and know that I can stop fighting this lonely war all by myself.

I haven't EVER gotten that. EVER. Disclosure, in my experience, makes it worse, not better.

I told one of my friends who i thought i was close with. Now that he knows i have Aspergers he always has a joke about it when i see him even though he knows that it bothers me. So i wouldn't tell anyone but that's just my personal experience.

So I should just continue to hide it from those closest to me?

Only tell someone who you really trust

The problem with telling people about your AS is that ASD describes a very broad, varied group of disorders that have similar expressions, but are not identical under the surface. So, when you say to someone that you're on the spectrum, you're not giving them anything they can act on, because it's too vague and too abstract.

I think you're experiencing a communication issue, not an actual lack of caring.
Hope that helps!

Oh, I guess I was hoping there was a way I could be understood by others. It appears that's not the case.

Well, there is if you state *what* the problems are.

It's like this. If you say "it's sunny," "it's cloudy," etc., there is a picture people have of how to dress. If it's cloudy it might rain for instance. If it's windy wear a jacket with a hood so your hat doesn't blow off, etc..

Saying "I have AS" is like saying "there is weather outside." It's too broad. My good friends know I have problems with being too literal, reading social cues can cause problems, etc.. And, they know it *might* be AS or might not, might be just PDD-NOS.

Know what I did before revealing to them it might be Asperger's? I wrote out a list of signs that pointed to it being something beyond my visual handicap and hearing problems, things I did/saidthey would remember or that made a lot of sense to them. I then said, "Now, this might be becasue of this - but then again, maybe I just can't read social cues well becasue I can't see well."

Only later did I go into a DSM type of thing.

I agree it's a communication issue - but when you say, "these half a dozen things maybe be related," you can communicate that there's something there, without calling it Asperger's.

And, one thing that helps me is I can joke about it - I've always been able to laugh at myself very well. Only time I had trouble was when a good childhood friend decided he wanted to be "cool" in his late teens and got really raunchy in stuff he talked about when I've always been so much into nice, gentle humor, the Abbott and Costello-type misunderstandings,a nd so on. (And we Aspies have quite a few of those - maybe a sign long before I knew I was comfortable laughing at myself.)

So it might be a
communication Issue? Hmm....

I would say no, not until you trust them. It can easily cause issues. I found out just a few months ago that I am an Aspie. It's still hard to wrap my head around it. I have only told a few close people in my life. I have not been treated any different, because they already knew something wasn't right. It made me feel closer to them because I told them. New people don't need to know that about me. I want them to like me for me, not feel sorry for me. Sorry to go off on a rant, but I feel deeply about it.

It depends on country a lot. While in US you can tell it to people you know for some time, in many others each issue with social adaptation considered as psychiatric disease and peple would look on you as you are leprous. I was surprised that in Russia if you've been diagnosed as AS in childhood you automatically considered as having schizophrenia after 18 yo which prevents you from obtaining driver's license, makes job search almost impossible and in some cases you could be forced to go to asylum.