Why do NTs think being mean to aspies will 'fix' them?

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test to see or testify?
(kidding)

Hi and thanks for the welcome.


The main issue here is fear. People are cautious about something they don't understand, hence improves survival chances and the like. It's true, our genetics are really behind the times.

The interesting thing about fear is that it's in the domain of the left brain. The left brain is all that is separate, Me vs you, identity and sequential. The right side of the brain is more connecting, parallel and more abstract. The interesting thing is that we are educated and trained to be in the left side of the brain, and it's here where the fear has its mechanics (although it's started in the midbrain).

After some stimuli, fear is first unconscious and then goes through the brain for more information, calculations etc. And this fear mechanism in the individualizing left brain turns off the connecting right brain.

Generally, when we fear something, we immediately engage the left brain faculties to take on the antagonist view and service the survival instinct. Self defense is best served by making a border, defense perimeter by saying Me vs you. Then the sequential parts of the brain will engage tactics and logistics to escape harm. It's true that doing something one and a time is slow, which is why a turbo boost of adrenaline is there to help.

Let's say that we are wired to engage the right brain when fear is triggered. Then we would start hugging the fear stimuli. That would just kill off more humans than is necessary.


Humans have this ability to monitor themselves. Because of this self regulating faculty, we also have the ability to reprogram our brains. Through the help of neuroplasticity and neurogenesis, we can indeed change our personalities if we so choose and put the effort into it.

So in short, we automatically fear things we don't understand, and this fear engages the left individualizing/serial brain and turns off the right connecting/parallel brain.

Wow, that is very insightful and interesting. I didn't know they traced fear to left-brain exclusively?! This is new info since I left Psychology (which was some time ago). I'll need to check current info on that before I let myself fully believe it (you know how information is these days). Did you find this information in a text or did you come up with it on your own? I ask because it seems quite consistent and coherent.

It also makes sense on an intuitive level. And as a bonus, it fits the "Yoda Principle", with fear leading to the abuse.

(Yoda Principle: Fear-->Anger-->Hate-->Suffering-->Dark Side-->Cookies)

(I can't post links until I've made 5 legitimate posts... blah)

It's not fear itself, but it (amygdala/rostral cingulate combo) does trigger the mechanism that turns off the right brain is located in the left brain. I first saw this with the dual quad brain theory (and pictures) and then learning about the emotional circuits in the mid brain.

I just pick up information here and there, and connect dots.

here's another one.

sow a thought, reap an action.
sow an action, reap a habit
sow a habit, reap a character
sow a character, reap a destiny
(RW Emerson)


compared with your yoda principle

fear -> anger -> hate -> suffering -> dark side
thought -> action -> habit -> character -> destiny

or

fear is a thought
anger is an action
hate is a habit
suffering is a character
dark side is a destiny


Just something to think about.

Hi!
What you wrote about 'hugging the fear stimuli' made me laugh - I was notorious as a small child for being found hugging all kinds of (supposedly) scarey animals...I can remember my father furiously shouting in a whisper at me to let go of the bull's leg and come out of the field (aged about 3 years). He didn't dare come in and get me! The bull and I were unfazed and perfectly companionable...

I am interested in the right brain/left brain theories...agree with you re fear...I see the left brain as logical, practical, the right as intuitive, connective.

Compassion : the understanding and validation of another person's reality - YES! If all is part of the whole, all is equally valid, if there is no fear then no aversion then acceptance...

I do think the whole 'being mean' thing is fear based. Often the most aggressive people are the most insecure and fearful at heart I find.

The left/right brain stuff is known as brain lateralization

Apart from that, temple grandin says that the autistic/asperger mind has more grey matter than white matter. Grey matter is the processing neurons and the white matter is the stuff connecting the grey matter.

I sometimes wonder if that person isn't insecure with themselves as well.

I've seen aspies act just as nasty to aspies as well as anyone with a "handicap".

Here we go...

They claim we have bad interpersonal skills yet 55% of marriages in this country (USA) end in divorce.

They claim we are wierd yet they are obssessed with what Oprah said to them

They claim we are lazy, yet they are the ones who always eat and talk at work

They claim we are strange, yet there are people who set themselves on fire for sexual attraction.

I could go on, but I won't.

In the NT world, people who act odd often do so for selfish or immature reasons. So, letting them know that such conduct will not be tolerated makes them learn to conform. If you punish undesirable conduct, a person learns to stop doing it. Much like ignoring a child doing a temper tantrum stops the practice because the child learns that it doesn't get them what they want.

It's a good practice...IF you are dealing with another NT.

What a person with AS needs the NT people around them to understand is that odd or "immature" conduct is more the result of how we perceive and process things around us. We don't want to cause controversy, but we can't quite figure out how to conform...at least not 100% of the time.

Dunno, I never had that experience with NTs, at least not after high school..

Can you elaborate more? Examples?

They do it because beng mean and beating other Nt's gets them to act "cool" again, they get "taught a lesson" and then things go back to how they were. The NT's expect the same from everyone, but it doesn't happen.

What in the whole, wide world makes you think that NTs are being mean for some specific reason? NTs are not mean because they are NTs, but there are mean people among all kinds of humans, apies too. People who are mean people are so for a plethora of bad reasons. I am an NT and I sort of resent being categorized as belonging to a "species" which so many aspies seem to think consists of people who are shallow, mean and just plain stupid. The world consists mainly of NTs, and a more diverse and heterogeneous "group" you'd be hard pressed to find. The NTs I know are compassionate, highly intelligent people who would never resort to degrading fellow human beings.

I know that many aspies have been treated badly by other people, but stop blaming that poor behaviour on the perpetrator's "NT-status". If you yourself have been treated unfairly, you must know that being unfair in return does no good.