real life socializing with Aspies vs NTs

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Is the breaking off suddenly with no more contact solely an aspie trait or can it be the trait of another type of person (of who aspie and NT alike are subsets?) I would think there would be many reasons both aspie and NT would break contact/avoid another.

Not sure I understand the above post. Please explain.

I have not heard that the breaking off of friends suddenly is an aspie trait. But I have much to learn, I'll admit.

Thoughts?

"As an Aspie what is it like to socialize with Aspies in real life (in person)? Is there a noticeable difference? Is it easier or more difficult? Is it more/less enjoyable? More/less interesting? More/less comfortable? Do you have a preference for socializing with Aspies or NT's or does not matter?"


I prefer it. I sometimes feel as though NTs are only half of the same species, so when I meet another aspie I feel as though I can just be myself and relax and they just understand me and vice versa. I don't feel the need to censor what I say or how I say it and I find their conversation much clearer and straightforward. When I was younger I could understand fairly good French, but would always miss random words or underlying meaning when hearing a conversation. I could usually get the gist, but it was an effort and I had to really pay attention. Speaking to an NT feels very similar most of the time. It can be enjoyable if they are friendly and generally positive individuals, but it still gets tiring after a while as I have to focus to fully keep track of what they mean. I don't get the same energy drain socialising with other aspies. They say what they think in an honest and direct way and I can do the same. I don't have to discuss superficial topics or worry about accidentally offending them. The only NT I can do that with is my sister and that's only after knowing her for almost 30 years and going through the trial and error process of offending/apologising and getting to know how our individual minds work from a very young age. We can 'fill in the gaps' more easily when we are together and just find our differences entertaining now. I tend to use her as a social role model and she uses me for financial or IT advice, so it's a good arrangement!

I have met a few other aspies in real life (and some individuals who I'm fairly certain were undiagnosed aspies). My ex was diagnosed with aspergers too, which definitely helped. Unfortunately, we were both 'leader' types and there was a bit too much competitive power play going on all the time so in the end it didn't work out. But in other ways we were very well matched and we broke up on good terms. There is one aspie I still see occasionally (not often enough to class as a close friend, but a good aquaintance) who I have known for nearly ten years. We can go an entire year with barely any contact and when we do meet up absolutely nothing has changed. We just 'click'.

So although I'd like to say it doesn't matter, I do find that I prefer hanging out with aspies these days.

I've socialized on the phone with some from here but only with a couple in meatlife. They were friends of my kids so it wasn't actual socializing like I would to hang out with them. The difference for me is that I had to think more and the conversation was slower and more awkward. I'm usually not tongue tied but because they were I slipped back into natural old habits that I only show now when very tired. Also I didn't as easily find things to talk about with them and they tended to go on and on when talking, you know, like I do most of the time lol.

I'm usually the weird one and it's strange when that's different.

ETA I might very well have socialized with Mindsigh back in the day because we ran in the same crowd but I don't remember her. So if I did, it wasn't weird, or any weirder than the rest of the group, because it doesn't stand out.

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