What are the social difficulties involved in driving?

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Yep my biggest fear about driving (I don't drive) is the fact that you are forced to stop and deal with a crash with a random (and usually aggressive) person, where I am a person that walks away from confrontation.

Its hard to walk away when you've got something thats worth thousands of dollars and your details on it.

Taxis are much easier... breakdown, crash, whatever... you can just walk away.

i dislike it when people thank me for stopping for them when i was bound by the law to stop for them.

for example, i was driving yesterday on a road where there are many pedestrian crossings. people were walking toward the pedestrian crossings, and i stopped my car to let them cross. a few pedestrians looked at me and gesticulated a "thank you" gesture while they silently mouthed "thank you" at me. i immediately thought "yeah well i have no choice but to stop for you so do not thank me". they seem to expect a gesture from me like "you're welcome", but they get nothing because their "thanks" are misguided and i will not accept them.

people who let me in to a lane expect me to somehow interact with them by "thanking" them, but i just take my place in the lane and forget about them. why should i thank them for "letting" me assume my place on a public road that they do not own? i guess there is some reason why i should but i can not see it. the concept of "thanks" is very hard for me to grasp because i can not see why i should be grateful for getting what i deserve.

i do not have any social success stories that stem from my life and times in the world of general traffic.

Yeah not really a choice, between vehicular manslaughter and stopping.

Another "instinct" I have that will probably get me into trouble if I drove would be my tendency to cut queues.

I hate queues at the best of times. The whole people are sheep, I hate crowds, random people inflicting gridlock costs on me, etc. If there was a queue at shop/restaurant I would choose to shop/eat elsewhere. I can usually avoid them at stores/banks/etc by ducking out to work and going in a non-peak time, ie. 10:30am, 2:30pm. Queues for taxi ranks can be avoided by hailing a cab at the approaches to the rank (a block or two away) - taxis still don't know then if there is a queue or not and rather the guaranteed fare now than going to the queue.

Another "borderline" tactic is when you see someone walking towards a queue or window (no queue) you run in front of them and beat them. Unlike cars, no one has ever said, thats my spot I was walking there, and they would look stupid if they did. If they really wanted the spot they can run there as well. If I did this for a car spot there could be some crashes and/or confrontations.

I've never considered driving to be a social activity.
In fact, it's when I'm driving that I'm MOST anti-social (read: socioPATHIC).
I'm the jerk who rides your ass in the fast lane until you submit on over somewhere else.


Lead foot aside, I do think myself a pretty good driver, as far as spatial awareness and reaction time go.

When I first started, not so much. I failed my first two (of three) driving tests.
I was just so nervous all the time, and the test-giver was...a monster.
Getting over the fear does wonders.

i would be in a hell of a lot of trouble if i hit someone, so therefore i am careful.


so does everyone i would think
i am bereft of any idea of what you are attempting to convey i am terribly sorry. why are "whole" people sheep ? how much do you spend in a gridlock? maybe i am becoming defiant so i will address the rest of your post with sterility.



10:30am to 2:30 pm in australia is a mini peak hour. people go out for morning tea and also lunch within that time frame. they often do whatever rigmarole they have to do in their "lunch time", and they become obstacles after a certain number of them get in my way.
i am careful to avoid confrontation so i consciously step around them if they intersect my path, and they can salvage a modicum of integrity if i do not clash with them.

that sounds like a good idea.
i always ring for a cab if i need one. i rarely need cabs but i have not had to hustle to get a taxi ever.


borderline between which 2 fronts?

i will run to get in front of someone else, but i will never beat them. i do not wish to hurt anyone. as long as i win the "race to the window", i am happy.




i have never heard cars saying "that's my spot", so i am slightly confused. i have never heard cars say anything really.



they would indeed look stupid if they talked in the same way that cars do. only cars can talk like cars, and anyone who tries to impersonate a car is "stupid".

i am unable to think very well.
goodnight (ish).

I am surprised people find driving to be so difficult. I didn't confront my fear of driving until last year..in fact this week is my one year anniversary of getting my drivers license. I couldn't believe how easy it really is, and now i wonder what took me so long. Once you get a grasp of driving, its probably the easiest thing to do in the world. 90 % of it is commonsense. Just remember to keep a safe driving distance, put blinkers on, and follow road signs. Thats pretty much all you really need to know. I actually think autistic people would be BETTER drivers. It involves a lot of repetition ( foot off and on the brake, acceleration) and concentration.

Although what you say is true, I think it's REALLY important to learn to predict what people in the other cars are going to do and what pedestrians are going to do.
There are many drivers out there who are completely oblivious to anyone else on the road, they are either aggressive or really dozy; either way, they are a potential hazard on the road.
Then there are those pedestrians who just walk into the road without looking. It might be me, or where I live, but it seems to be becoming the 'norm' just to saunter into a busy road without looking; did I miss something? Is there a revised edition of the pedestrians highway code?

I think the skills I rely on most when driving are:
Observation
Common sense
Using my peripheral vision (Mirrors are great, but you need more visual information than what they give)
and Prediction

As for social difficulties. I find it difficult to listen to someone and converse when I'm driving, so I try to limit it as much as possible; I'd rather concentrate and not kill anyone!
Probably best not to pi*s anyone off in other cars also, you don't know who's in the other car and how road rage affects them; you only have to stop at traffic lights and they could jump out of their car and start doing a 'Basil Fawlty' with a stick on your car.
So, no aggressive driving, no tail gaiting, no cutting them off, no unecessary hooting or flashing.

You also have to consider the people in the car with you; you're responsible for their safety. So, socially, driving responsibly will probably earn you more respect than having a good old natter about who's doing what and where.

In my case I cannot drive and talk. I will miss the exit or corner where I need to turn to even if its my own house.

Rather awkward for a girl i'm going out with to have to see me drive in silence so I guess that really is a socializing problem it causes

I actually have to listen to the radio or talk to someone while driving so that I don't suffer from tunnel vision while driving. This even includes thinking aloud/talking to myself.

Mar1976 said:
//
Although what you say is true, I think it's REALLY important to learn to predict what people in the other cars are going to do and what pedestrians are going to do.
There are many drivers out there who are completely oblivious to anyone else on the road, they are either aggressive or really dozy; either way, they are a potential hazard on the road.
Then there are those pedestrians who just walk into the road without looking. It might be me, or where I live, but it seems to be becoming the 'norm' just to saunter into a busy road without looking; did I miss something? Is there a revised edition of the pedestrians highway code?
//

EDIT: it appears I can't get this quoting to work.

I've heard that if you hit a pedestrian while driving, that the driver is responsible, not the pedestrian. I don't understand why people just feel like risking it, though.

I've had my driver's licence for several years now, so I have some limited experience on the matter. I follow the rules on the road quite strictly, but I've noticed that other people sometimes don't. They offer to let you go ahead, when it's not allowed according to the rules. They do this by signalling with their hands, so I usually stick up my hand to "thank" them.
For example, if there's a long queue of cars waiting for an intersection. If I have to go in that direction as well when coming from an earlier intersection, then according to the rules I'd have to wait till every car has passed and get in line behind them. Every so often there is a driver who makes some space for me to get in front of him in the queue. At this point I stick up my hand and go stand on that spot. They saved me some time by letting me stand in front of them.
There are similar things on the highway. For example, when there is not enough space in a lane for new cars to get onto the highway, people will move one lane to the left to make room. Obviously there are no gestures here, since everyone is driving way too fast for that.
But in both cases, if one were to follow the rules strictly, it wouldn't be allowed.
(I hope these examples are clear enough)

Other possible social gestures are when parking. If you're leaving for example, a new car might show up and signal at you to ask if you're leaving. Usually nodding or shaking your head does the trick. Then they either will wait till you leave and park in the place you were in, or leave to find another parking spot.

Those are all the social interactions with other drivers I can think of now.

As for having to talk to people in your own car, that's what the radio is for (as someone already said). It's also quite possible to ask people to stop talking (to you), so you can concentrate on driving (I've done this more than once, never got any complaints).

I believe you're right.

That's my point really; you should NEVER assume that any driver (ahead, behind or next to you), is as experienced as yourself; the same applies for any pedestrian.
Pedestrians have the right of way (although many drivers forget that fact); but driving a car takes a lot more concentration, more observational skills and faster reactions than someone putting one foot in front of the other or running away from a 'rogue' car because they haven't bothered to look; put any driver in a 'panic' situation, and you have no way of predicting how they can cope; unfortunately the car will possibly always 'win'.

I just think it's important for anyone who drives a car to realise they are operating something that has the potential to kill.

Absolutely right - but a pedestrian is also "operating something that has the potential to kill" if it comes down to it.
Although the driver is held responsible for maintaining control of the vehicle, there could be circumstances where it can be shown that a pedestrian was behaving irresponsibly.
Pedestrians are barred from using UK motorways for a good reason - but if one decides to go for a stroll on a motorway there won't be much a driver could to to avoid a serious accident.

Yes, many gestures occur in the parking lot of my local grocery.
Hand signals seem to be the most popular.


Done that more times than I can count.

You need to deal with the police officers if you get pulled over. Drop the logic crap because that will get you into more trouble if you don't do as they say and answer their questions. They will not answer your questions when you ask them "why" because they have a job to do and they don't have time to take the twenty seconds to explain themselves. If they did that to everyone, then they be behind in their work and not be able to catch more people breaking the law and not be able to write out as many tickets. They need to write out certain amount of tickets. Also remain calm when they pull you over. Oh yeah never argue with an officer. Save that for court if you believe the ticket was unfair.

You may be on the road and you may find a person using hand and arm gestures telling you to go in the other lane because something happened in the current lane you are in. You would have to rely on cars in front of you to figure out what the fella wants you to do.

No kidding! Just a few months after I got my license (at 29), a girl ran a red light and slammed into my car. Two witnesses to the accident pulled over and they called the police, who quickly showed up and took statements. The girl who slammed into me was visibly upset, shaking and crying and making a scene. I, of course, was not demonstrating much emotion. The cops were all over her, asking was she okay, did she need them to call someone, did she need to go to the hospital, etc. etc. All they said to me was, "You need to get this towed with 30 minutes or we will impound it." I said, "I understand; can you direct me to a public telephone?" (I did not have a cell phone at the time; this accident was the reason my husband and I finally gave in and got cells.) They acted like I hadn't said anything, just kept repeating that I needed to get my car towed or they'd take it to the impound...they didn't give a damn that I had no way to summon a tow truck, nor would they help me find a way! Luckily for me, a tow truck just happened to drive by and was willing to tow my car, call my mother from his cell (I was on my way to meet her for lunch), and drop me off at my mother's office. I couldn't believe how unhelpful and unsympathetic those officers were to me in comparison to the freaking-out teenager. (She'd totaled my car, too.)

I lived on the East Coast for years, and never really felt the need of a car. The bus system in my college town was free during the school year and cheap in the summer. I could take it to my friend's houses, the market, my job, my school...and most other places I could walk. I lived in Philadelphia and Boston and spent a lot of time in NYC, and you don't need a car for those places either. Public transportation was the way to go...even in Pittsburgh, I could get to school by bus and my husband drove us anywhere else we wanted to go. It was only when I agreed to let him fulfill his white-picket-fence dream and move tot he suburbs that I leanred to drive. I'm a city girl at heart, and I felt trapped. Totally isolated, unable to get anywhere (the bus only ran 6 times a day, and the stop was several miles from our house), I finally bit the bullet and got my license. For the first months I had it, I only drove to the bus stop and back home; eventually I began driving it more...to my parents', to my grad school field placements, etc. and got comfortable with it. I would hate to be without a car or a license now, though if we ever wind up in a city with decent public transportation, I'd be willing to go back to that for day-to-day travel.