ialdabaoth, you already are special. You are articulating your plight exceptionally well and the feelings you describe are not so uncommon.
If you became famous, people would want to be around you, even if you were a huge jerk.
Therefore, I think you should write a YA novel with the person who wants to dial into that sweet spot of specialness as the main character and what he does to try to make it happen. Your novel could be a smashing success and people will flock to you.