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Cookiemobsta
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20 Jan 2012, 11:06 pm

mds_02 wrote:
She's definitely put him in an uncomfortable position. I guess the reason I'm cutting her slack is because I've been put in uncomfortable positions by people who genuinely meant well. Could be, all she sees is that he enjoys DMing and wants to give him a chance to do it again, without realizing how important it is to have just the right group of players.

I do think that if he talks to her about it, and she won't help him out of the situation, that running a game no one enjoys in order to get it over with isn't completely unreasonable. It just wouldn't be my first choice for how to deal.


This. Chances are his wife thought he would enjoy the chance to DM, and didn't realize he would feel put on the spot. If he takes the time to talk with her calmly and without attacking her, chances are he can help her understand how he's feeling and she can work with him to figure out a good answer to the situation.


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Fnord
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20 Jan 2012, 11:11 pm

Or he could just man up and refuse to play her game.

(Pun intended.)



Sagroth
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23 Jan 2012, 1:29 am

Update on the situation:

Talked with the wife. It was completely unintentional on her part. To prove it, she basically handled the "gracefully backing out" part for me so I didn't have to. It is handled, my wife is awesome, and I'm glad to be out of it. We have decided in the future that should anyone ask her if I'd be interested in doing anything social at all, her answer is to be "probably not."

Best for all involved, I think.


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CaptainTrips222
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24 Jan 2012, 8:17 pm

Fnord wrote:
No worries.

I ran an AD&D 2nd ed. campaign for 7 years with the same core group. I liked that core group - four people who knew how to have fun and when to get "serious" about gaming. The rest were looking for a re-creation of their favorite sword-and-sorcery book or movie (I think "Beastmaster" was popular back then).

One of the things I learned about gaming was to never let your spouse or girlfriend into the game, because if things don't go her way, you're likely to fight about it afterward, and if things do go her way, then the others will think you're playing favorites. Either way, sooner or later, she will "suggest" new players, new rules, and new adventures ("My Little Pony" AD&D Style?). She may also begin to second-guess your decisions, and even tell you who should be rewarded or punished through their character.

Best of luck with all that.


I have met two other people who have the same rule you do: no significant others at the table!



NicoleG
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24 Jan 2012, 11:00 pm

My roommates (a married couple) run a Cyberpunk game with him being the amazingly awesome GM with back story, character renditions, EVERYTHING, and her usually playing a couple of the NPCs. They work well together, and she usually test runs the games before he offers them up to the gaming group(s). She's amazingly creative in her character roles, so much so that she kind of scares other players with the ideas she comes up with.

The rules are pretty simple - he has final say in who gets to play, how many players, etc. It's his game, period, end of story. Everyone that plays is aware of this, and if anyone wants to recommend another player, they have to take it to him. He also set the times, how long he needs to prepare, and if he wants, will request to meet a potential new player before deciding they can play, usually with an informal dinner or other type of hanging out just to break the ice. None of it is personal.