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When in a social situation....

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Longshanks
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12 Feb 2012, 2:34 pm

I don't think that aspies are social black sheep so much as it is that we're 4-wheel drive trucks trying to fit ourselves in a parking ramp for small cars. But we do our best with what we have to work with. What else can we do?

-Longshanks


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Joe90
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12 Feb 2012, 3:25 pm

Longshanks wrote:
Concerning the situation above I would have to guess that there is a distinct possibility that the man in question had more than just intentions of giving your firend a ride. Yes, there are a lot of NT's out there who are rude and inconsiderate. Knowing that, however, doesn't make life any easier.

Are there any Aspie support groups where you're at?


Actually, the manager was a woman, and was a very cliquey woman too. She had favourites, and obviously I was not one of them. Although she was manager, she didn't act like she was someone in authority. She acted like she was a mate to everyone, well, most people, and so I used to sometimes forget that she was a manager. But she didn't make a very good manager because she just got involved in the workers too much and lost track on what she was supposed to be doing with her paperwork and in the shop, and left it all to the assistant manager. The assistant manager was like a mate to us too, but she didn't have favourites. She was more down to earth.

No I can't get into any Aspie support groups because around here they are more for people with classic Autism. I just fall on the line between NT and Autism. I think I act more like I have Social Phobia than I do Aspie, because in social situations I clam up and go quiet because of the fear of saying something and not being heard, or understood, or being interrupted and feeling stupid. I'm on another forum where NTs with extreme shyness, paranoia, anxiety, depression, and Social Phobia go on to, and I feel I relate to them a lot in terms of social situations.


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13 Feb 2012, 9:44 am

nick007 wrote:
I tend to be extremely out of place when I go to social things. I stand out a lot by keeping to myself but I have problems when I do try to be more active in the environment. Others cut me off when I try to engage in the conversation. I'm unintentionally rude when people do talk to me but I never realize how what I said was rude. I just stay on the side-lines unless someone makes the move to talk to me or something; it's works better that way. i'm the black-sheep of social things; it's immediately obvious that I'm out of place

same here :cry:


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TM
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13 Feb 2012, 2:36 pm

NicoleG wrote:
TM wrote:
One thing I've noticed while reading this board that seems to make people here different from people I meet "out in the world" is that most people gain their confidence through being good at something. Yet it seems some of the people here who are very knowledgeable about their special interests or really good at something do not derive much confidence from it. In essence, in NTs it seems like confidence "carries over" into fields they are not comfortable in, whereas for aspies it seems like that's a lot more rare.


That's very sad, but true, especially for a few people I've read who have posted about how their interests tend to be turn-offs for most other people out there. It makes making friends that much more difficult.


One of my interests is "gore" everything from horror films to serial killers, lets just say it creeps people out when you have no clue who the celebrities that Marilyn Mansons band took their first names from, but can name every serial killer that they took their last names from, including a long winded speech about the offenses each of them committed.



NicoleG
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13 Feb 2012, 3:03 pm

TM wrote:
NicoleG wrote:
TM wrote:
One thing I've noticed while reading this board that seems to make people here different from people I meet "out in the world" is that most people gain their confidence through being good at something. Yet it seems some of the people here who are very knowledgeable about their special interests or really good at something do not derive much confidence from it. In essence, in NTs it seems like confidence "carries over" into fields they are not comfortable in, whereas for aspies it seems like that's a lot more rare.


That's very sad, but true, especially for a few people I've read who have posted about how their interests tend to be turn-offs for most other people out there. It makes making friends that much more difficult.


One of my interests is "gore" everything from horror films to serial killers, lets just say it creeps people out when you have no clue who the celebrities that Marilyn Mansons band took their first names from, but can name every serial killer that they took their last names from, including a long winded speech about the offenses each of them committed.


I actually try not to talk too much about my interests unless a conversation goes into one of those topics on its own. I try to spend more time getting the other person to talk about their interests, because then I get to know them better. The more I talk about my own interests the less I learn about the other person.



Joe90
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13 Feb 2012, 4:58 pm

Oh, I never bother to talk about my interests any more. I learnt from that mistake a long time ago.


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18 Feb 2012, 10:33 pm

Longshanks wrote:
I don't think that aspies are social black sheep so much as it is that we're 4-wheel drive trucks trying to fit ourselves in a parking ramp for small cars. But we do our best with what we have to work with. What else can we do?

-Longshanks


not drive over the little cars.
try to keep it in 2WD
only use 4WD when required
not show the power of our V-8's

...........sorry about that little cars :roll:

Gadge


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