not fond of family gatherings

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Family gatherings are always terrible for me. Its not anything against the people, but its just very uncomfortable. I get nervous about it weeks before the event even comes. Just yesterday, a group of relatives stopped by our house as a surprise. I really hate those kinds of surprises I guess it eliminated the anxiousness that comes beforehand, but I had no time to prepare. I never know what to say to them, and it feels like I'm just there, awkwardly sitting in the middle of their gathering. I'll try to think of something to say and it just comes out dumb. I also have a heard time judging when I'm supposed to hug them. I hate hugging but it seems unavoidable.
I probably would have felt relieved to have it over with now if I didn't have to worry about another (large) gathering tomorrow, and other family that said they were going to be stopping in later this week.

I like family events involving local, more immediate family. I don't like events that involve the larger, extended family that you only see at those kinds of events. I remember at my brother's wedding reception, family members would come up to me and start asking me how I was doing, about my job, etc. Maybe I'm the weird one, but it seems to me that if those were subjects that actually interested them, they would have called or emailed me at anytime during the several years since I'd last seen them. By only asking at those kinds of events, it just makes me feel like they're being fake and that they really don't care and are just following social norms.

I get yelled at for being so quiet. All they ever do is compare me to my sister and tell me what's wrong with me. Then they keep urging me to find a husband.

I have exactly the same issues ( although I have 2 brothers, no sisters) , but because I have a fiance, I get asked when I'm getting married and having kids. Apparently my choices and views on life don't sit well with their expectations. I should give up everything I enjoy doing in my life because they want grand children.

I haven't spoken to my parents in almost 2 years because of this behaviour.

I've been tempted to do the same, but they're starting to come around.

i'm not good with family gatherings at all. virtually no one knows anything about me and i am very shy and quiet. i often just sit by myself with a book or hide near my parents. i don't think they know i have asperger's so i assume they just think i'm weird or i don't like them, which isn't strictly true. they're nice enough people, i'm just the difficult one i guess. i particularly struggle with christmas, as i feel uncomfortable with it at the best of the times, with my anti-consumerist/anti-capitalist views, and my family certainly don't make me feel comfortable (even my father called me 'Stalin the Grinch' (even though I'm not a Stalinist...)). I try to avoid the gatherings as much as i can, I faked being ill so I didn't have to go to the new year party.

I just try to relax and talk to them idk what to say. One of my cousins really likes zombies and films and we talk about that for quite a bit. I mostly listen and see what they talk about and try to put in a little here or there when I can.

Your family sounds cool. I wish I had a cousin like that. All my cousins are married with kids and all they talk about is work, marriage, and raising kids. Then eventually they get around to asking me why I don't have my life together and tell me all the things I'm doing wrong. I try to fake interest in what they have to say and they get easily offended. The worst is when they make us all gather round to get our pictures taken and I'm forced to fake a smile and I always end up making an awkward expression of disgust.