Do you ever like to burn bridges?

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I had a co-worker who told me once that burning a bridge can sometimes be a good idea, because it forces you to look solidly forward.

A quote I use on my sig line that another guy made when I discussed my losing my last job and how I handled it....

When I left my last job I burned the bridge, incinerated any leftovers, swept them up into a rocket and fired it into outer space, then incinerated all bridge-building tree farms.

many people burned bridges with me and there are some really obnoxious people with whom i tried burning the bridge but had to reconnect with them since they are family.

i feel its better to drift away then say out loud or hurt someone by telling them why you are cutting off.

One of my work colleague who liked me a lot cut off from me after couple of years she no longer answered my phone calls
another college friend i distanced myself from because there is lot of difference in my family life v/s hers
she lives in a joint family and as to live under dictatorship of her in laws
whereas i live in a nuclear family

i want to distance myself from my counsellor as he started sending me sex text etc via social networking
his behaviour as become quite sleazy and uncomfortable
though we were good friends and chatted for hours initially
but now he as started acting funny

its hard for me to cut off........
but i guess its in best interest
ultimately he only wants to take advantage of me
and use me physically
i wont blurt out to him that i m burning bridge with him etc
it would be just avoiding him and no contact

I don't think I've ever liked burning bridges... but, it has become necessary.

I've had to burn bridges with family members because I simply don't have time or energy for the drama they bring to my life. Mind you, these were under extreme circumstances and I hope that very few other people would have enough reason to cut off contact with a family member.

I am in the middle of a long process of deciding who I still want to speak to among my friends. They're people I've known most of my life... but I don't like who a lot of them have grown up to be. So... I'm burning those bridges because I'm a firm believer that you become who you associate with. I'd not like to become any fraction of them.

I avoid intentionally burning bridges. I have found that drifting away works much better for me. Experience has taught me that burned bridges can do me more harm than good, even if it takes 10-20 years for the regret to kick in.

Besides, I already unintentionally burn plenty of bridges, so burning some intentionally would be overkill

I think this sort of stuff causes cancer.

You have to take it into perspective, Brian. You can't drink poison and expect the other person to die. Chances are they won't care that you've cut them off, and hurting yourself in the process is not a good idea.

It depends on the situation. It's all relative.

Sometimes it can be very cathartic, but to be honest, most of the time I've done it for childish reasons. I'm oversensitive to how people treat me and I don't always stick around to ask their intent, not that I'd necessarily believe them anyway.

You have to consider your environment before you burn bridges. If you are in a hot desert climate, burning bridges may not be a good idea. The fire is a lot more likely to spread to neighboring objects/people.

On facebook I've added old school friends and such, and I got frustrated at their lack of interest in talking or doing anything at all with me other than being facebook friends. So eventually I'd snap and tell them what I really think about how f*****g despicable they are. I'd insult them until they'd block me, bridge burnt, one less a**hole to deal with.

Felt good telling some of those stuffed shirts what I really think, I don't believe they were ever seriously going to be my friend anyway.

I don't like to burn bridges, but doing so usually happens when I get so fed up that I'm like, "f* it I don't care anymore." It gives us a false sense of regaining control over a situation we feel powerless in. But the problem that happens when we burn bridges is that we don't really hurt the person we want to hurt; the only person we hurt is ourselves.

No. I used to and always regretted it later.

HAHAHAHA ok wow I don't have problems with metaphor typically but for the longest darn time I thought you meant literally burning bridges.....oh my.

Also, I often do the bridge burning. Most of the time it happens when I almost get close to someone, but then they do something that I utterly disagree with morally. Once I've seen that, I can't see them without thinking of whatever it is that I don't agree with. Even those who are willing/want to make up with me have to go. I can't understand why I do that, but I want to be around people who think like me, or no one at all.

I do agree with what a previous poster had said about burning bridges being cathartic. I don't do it often, but I remember the last time I tried, it was with a friend who stopped talking to me for 8 years. I think he stopped talking to me due to me asking him about something pretty inappropriate, but it was done with no malicious intent and just out of honest curiosity. It was over something so small, but he drifted apart from me on purpose and never called me back to hang out with him after he said, "yeah definitely we'll hang out", but you know how that goes.

8 years pass, and I one day head out to the mall and go to this store to pick up an iPad 3rd gen for my sister's birthday. Since I am a corporate employee for the company, I was allowed to hang out at the back of the store to make my order and pick it up there when it was done. And guess who I saw? I saw that same friend who stopped talking to me for 8 years, working at the same company as I am, except in retail.

He looks at me and does a double take. He approaches me and greets me so energetically as if he stumbled upon a treasure chest. He tells me how he had been looking for me online and could never find me anywhere, not even on Facebook. We get to chatting and we tell each other what we've been up to, but all the while I was uncomfortable talking to him since I was so angry at him for abandoning me when I wanted to hang out with him and valued his friendship those 8 years ago, yet he never valued mine.

So he just happens to be on his break and tells me to get a meal with him at this Italian fast food restaurant. I am forced to go, and we continue talking. We get to a point where after talking about the past, he looks to me and says sorry for abandoning me. I don't think he realized how hard I took it when he stopped talking to me and how much I thought about it over the years.

I exploded. Instead of lighting a match and tossing it on the bridge, I lit a fuse on a bomb as soon as I saw him and it was a matter of time when all the accumulated anger went off. I told him how f'ed up it was for him to treat me that way, and how much I didn't understand myself back then. It looked like he was trying to apologize, but he eventually gave an extremely saddened and disappointed look, crumbled up the paper plate and said, "okay, I wasn't expecting for us to meet like this. I'm a very private person."

He left, but I walked toward him and called his name. He turned back and I continued to tell him what I felt about him and how walking away from me just shows that he wants to place blame on me and to also show that the angry feelings I had, I didn't have a right to feel that way. We said some things, and it included him telling me to act like an adult, and he finally told me to stop following him, even though I had to go back to the same store he was heading to for me to pick up the iPad.

It felt good. I was listening to Beach House's 10 Mile Stereo song while driving back home and it just fit perfectly with the feeling I had after all that was over: catharsis. I don't care if it was childish; what adult ever acts like an adult? I wouldn't say you should burn bridges left and right, but I did it and I knew that I wouldn't have any business with him. Seriously, he never had any with me for 8 years...

I forgot to add, he called me a few days later, and texted me a day after that, telling me to call him when time permits, but I never did. I guess it was my way of dousing more oil to that already burning and broken bridge. I don't care. At this point, I am disillusioned with the notion of friendship and would rather be on my own. People disappoint me and I never really had a really good friend to be there for me in a long time, so if a bridge was burnt, it didn't matter. But for some of you out there, maybe people don't treat you as badly as they did to me, so you shouldn't go to an extreme like I did to this friend.

Yes, that story sounds like a good reason to tell the person how you feel at the time, rather than letting it stew for 8 years!