Why would a male friend not hang out anymore?

Post Reply New Topic

He tends to lie about that sort of thing though from experience so I might not even bother

It sounds like just dropping him altogether because he seems like someone who is playing hot and cold with you which I just read is a sign of a fake friend.

I dealt with a couple of people like this who played similar games
1.One of them was a co-worker but she was a woman and she and I seemed to become attached at the hip where I helped at her wedding and she even convinced me that I was like a sister to her. Then another co-worker got hired and she started ignoring, me shutting me out of conversations and avoiding me. I found out that she was telling the other co-worker that I lied about us being friends and that she hated me
2.The second one was a guy who I had a huge crush on but he wasn't interested in me and would only be nice to me when he wanted something. Then he would disappear and ignore me and come up with excuses related to his autism as to why he could not talk to me. He told other people that he really disliked me.

well i just messaged him, he said he just has a lot on his mind right now but I told him if he needed to talk feel free to message me

You handled that situation beautifully and I am proud of you for that. However, his response sounds like an excuse because he is letting you know that everything else is more important than having a friendship with you. For whatever reason, he's not interested and doesn't want to tell you the truth because he's scared that your feelings will get hurt.

I have had people blow me off all the time with excuses like that rather than be upfront with me which is a hot button of mine which I have not always handled appropriately.

I think that it was mean of him to invite you to his party and then act like he wanted nothing to do with you like he did before. He doesn't sound like a good friend for you so I would not waste your time because he isn't worth it..


I had a similar situation with a childhood friend who I had a falling out with when she became a teenager because she was trying to be cool and be and an A crowd wannabe. We didn't speak for 2 and a half years and after that, we reconnected after her mother accidentally called my parents' number and we caught up on the phone along with sleeping over. After that, she led me around by playing games me with when I would call. "Can you call back in the next 5 minutes? I am washing the dishes right now." Then I would call back and she would either do the same thing or was supposedly not home.

I was so angry and confused at her because I didn't know why she wasted all her time and energy trying to reach out in the first place and then play games with me. However, she was never honest with me either. Rather, she blew me off with excuses as well.

"I'm sorry but I have this and that."


"

Often the simplest explanation is the best explanation. With that in mind, it occurs to me that the reason for this dude's contradictory signals is:

"He's just not that into you!"

Walk away and don't blame yourself. Your time and feelings matter.

So you were hanging out as "friends", and then after you told him you were interested, now he doesn't want to hang out?

He wanted to hang out still but just as a friend, then after the party he started acting like this. I don't even know what's getting into him so I might just start ignoring him. I learned from a bus driver, that he's thought about going to the mall three weeks in a row on Friday, like he figured out that might be the day I normally go. It's quite strange really, I might just block him on fb too

Do you think he's stalking you?

Like he might be trying to bump into me if I go to the mall maybe

I sense that this is the time to be more direct.

I don't like all this "passive-aggressive" stuff on his part.

I wish he'd just come right out with it all, instead of trying to "bump into you," like some junior high kid.

I dislike it so much-----because I used to be the same way. So I understand it at least fairly well.

What's he even trying to do?

I sense that he likes you----but doesn't know how to express it properly.

You see this sort of thing in kids just getting into puberty. Ever see a TV show called the Partridge Family?

No I haven't

There was an episode where a boy, about 13, liked a girl.

He couldn't express his liking for the girl---so he punched her in the arm instead, and chased her.

Please forgive my bad manners----I meant to get back on here, but after work..... You know how it is..... Recovery time.....

So, anyway..... Yes, I feel pretty sure. I agree with those who have been telling you that he's backing-off cuz he's a little scared of what to do..... What should be his next move, and so-forth. I do NOT agree with letting it all go, this soon. I mean, c'mon..... I know we girls have a different "clock" than the boys do----but, here's the thing.....

There's this old saying "The boy chases the girl, until SHE catches him". You gotta be patient----and, Lord knows *I* know it ain't easy----but, you gotta let a man, be the man (and, even in this day-and-age, guys, I'm pretty sure, are still taught that THEY are the ones who do the pursuin', and it's all up to US girls to say yea or nay). That's alot of pressure for a really young guy----and, who, at that age, WANTS to get turned-down, ya know?

Yeah, see..... I'm thinkin' that person who said y'all seemed like you were dating, scared the bejeebers out of him, and that's, maybe, why he backed-off----maybe, too, cuz he was afraid it might make YOU run for the hills.

Well, he changed, suddenly, cuz, like we're thinkin', he's thinkin' of YOU, differently, now. I think this advice, is spot-ON:

I really ain't so sure what to do about it, since he's really keeping his distance from me and told he has a lot on his mind and won't talk about. I was talking with the bus driver though on my way to the mall today, and he tells her, he might go every Friday for the last few weeks. He didn't today, which is kind of relief since i was going to shop for a mothers day gift. I'm finding that a little weird like he caught on that I always go on Fridays. I ain't sure what to think of that.i also saw he commented on something on fb that he's afraid of what other people think of him