How difficult is making friends for you?

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I seem to meet people who appear like they are interested in me and we even seem to bond. Then other people come along and I seem to pushed to the bottom or off their list.

Hard enough to stop trying


Besides I have wrong planet and counseling

It's less the making than the keeping of them, although I can go for long periods where I make no new acquaintances.

I have trouble maintaining steady contact and tend to hole away. I had a tendency to have intense contact for a period of time and then ghost, reappearing later and expecting the friendship to exist as though we had never broken contact. This pattern is not received well, and my perception of this makes me do it less and encourages me to drop my sense of attachments. It adds up to not really having any friends beyond some coworkers in the limited time we have contact.

I also can't stand social functions involving more than 2 people where I am expected to be "spontaneously emotionally reciprocal." I choose more over time to avoid participation. It feels bad to struggle with sharing that kind of experience when everyone else seems to naturally enjoy it. It's an important part of bonding for most people, and I can't seem to do it right.

It gets harder over time to relate to new people. I've become guarded, and it feels like an investment of emotions into a new individual typically becomes a bad one, at least in my experience. They die...they disappoint...they fade...they forget...

Living alone with a cat doesn't sound too bad!

I reluctantly voted 'Very Difficult' - as the survey didn't allow votes between choices, e.g., between 'Difficult' to 'Very Difficult.'

I've always felt that developing, and maintaining friendships with NT people who have some understanding/experiences with High-Functioning Autism (HFA).

These are discussions and actual e-x-p-e-r-i-e-n-c-e-s that need reassessments and active follow-through! I would go as far to say that such friendships might be as closest thing to "the holy grail" of doable friendships concerning High Functioning Autism (HFA).

An overlooked criteria (for lack of a better word) includes NTs who have not had well too much experience with the Autism Spectrum........ yes, I wrote this correctly, too much experience with the Autism Spectrum can be unfavorable.

I've always felt good vibes for people who usually can reach a consensus on those thoughtful, important things in life! "Yes, I've been advised that quality people can be hard to come-by, and keep!"

Personally, the age-range of such friendships (yes, it's best to refrain from being seen as too choosy) seems to be that age 35 through middle-age years; as I personally relate to thoughtful perspectives of younger generations -in which older generations are often receptive. I sense it can be helpful that I look quite young for a middle-aged person.

^This is what I can really relate to. I also meet people who act interested in me and we do seem to bond. But then, either someone more interesting comes along or I unintentionally push these people away by making a social mistake.

In a structured environment like work, school, or rehab, I find making friends is actually quite easy. Making friends online isn't that hard either, though it does require a little effort. Unfortunately, I don't have a lot of structure in my life right now, so I pretty much don't have any real life friends that I see on a regular basis. I'm hoping to change that by going back to school, and by attending meetups once I move to a bigger city. There's an LGBT recreation organization in the city I'll most likely be moving to that I want to check out.

I may be repeating myself and you didn't answer my question last time, so maybe you're saying you're not interested, but lots of people make social mistakes all the time. The reason it doesn't get to other people is they do things to mitigate these inevitable false steps. Part of it is joking about it, or noting it in other people, etc.

Since I find most people either boring or scary, I only felt a lack of friends after leaving the city, and the selection got thin. Just this week, I confirmed that I'd managed to make my 1st new one in over a decade - ironically, a guy who says that trying to make friends never works out. I'd noticed a basic friendliness, and since I live a block from his post office box, I always invited him to drop by with no results until I had burned some gas to go see him at home, where he always prefers to be.

"boring" is not necessarily a bad thing.
Obsessive compulsive disorder

Exciting and interesting is not necessarily a good thing. adrenal fatigue


Some precious lil "people don't like about me:
"She's a wierdo" (correct)
"You make people uncomfortable with the way you dress!". (Everyone makes people uncomfortable with the way they dress)


What I don't like about them

They act like they have never done anything wrong before

They act like every thought and emotion that goes through their head is the latest greatest scientific invention

"What" instead of "excuse me"

They call themselves "people", as if, they overpower me because they outnumber me. But there is only one of them an one of me

Off leash dogs

They are too vague and judgmental

They have a "holier than thou" attitude

They offer to "help", but they don't have the authority or skill

They tell you "we care about you", ("we"), but they don't treat you like they treat their friends

They make compliments or criticism about your IQ, appearance, demeanor



They talk too much and too loudly and there are too many of them


They say "can you", like, if you "can", you have to



They say "cool", when they like something. As though they are so f*****g awesome that they have (or should have) veto authority over everything you do, just because they don't like it


And they say "why" when you do something they don't like". As if there is a good reason. But according to them, there is no good reason



"You got mad". Tell me what you did wrong. Don't tell me my reaction


They say "sorry" for apology and sympathy, so they are not taking blame


They refer to someones dispositional, and too vague and misleading. For example, "she's friendly".



They treat their dog better than they treat humans. They call the dog "he" and "she" instead of "it"





They laugh too loud and too much. Like everything should be funny


Racism sexism homophobia fatophobia classism lookism ableism

Moderate Length post:

Could developing, and maintaining friendships with NT people who have some understanding/experiences with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) be the closest to "the holy grail" of doable friendships concerning (HFA)??

From personal experiences, I've long-known thoughtful NTs i.e., therapists, family, family friends, relatives and counselors, acquaintances (for small-talk only), and with state, and local developmental services; yet, none of these people can be of help in developing more or less informal friendships. With professional services, advisors are not allowed develop friendships due to their respective professional codes of practice.

It might be helpful to reassess our own strengths to deal with our weaknesses; that is experiences with interacting with NTs on a more or less formal basis are strengths, hence developing more or less informal friendships with NTs who are somewhat aware (HFA) may turn-out to be not such a weakness at all! How about that??

Let's spell this out into well articulated concerns; as these are discussions, and actual e-x-p-e-r-i-e-n-c-e-s that need reassessments and active follow-through!

By the very nature of HFA, it's understood a little too well that the motives, behaviors, personalities, etc. etc. etc. of NTs and HFAs alike are verrry complicated; which is much of what "scares-off" HFAs from developing friendships.

And again, from my own experiences, it's understandable to express concerns, and difficulties in interacting with people, which is important...to a point!

I feel I have to be "quite frank" and blunt here; which is in a way cathartic to the very experiences of living with HFA, as well as encouraging myself, and others concerned with HFA to progress: After reading, and responding to many of the WP posts, many NTs, and even those with HFA feel discouraged (on account of an atmosphere of negative vibes) in taking collective concrete steps; which would otherwise encourage important progress for HFA.

After all, our sentiments (negative, positive, indifferent) have a way of becoming something like a collective self-fulfilling prophecy. Here we have chances to encourage those robust positive sentiments!

Just remember, we attract bees with honey, not vinegar (forget honey-vinegrette, as this would result in confused, and upset bees......code for, you'll get S-T-U-N-G!)

Okay, I don't want to get all preachy here......Let's discuss our experiences with awesome NTs!

Thank-you

You just don't know what to expect

Expect the unexpected



Nasty surprise after nasty surprise

Their whole attitude is judgmental

They act like they are trying to "help" you, but they are just annoying

I'm disabled and don't really do anything to meet people but if I did I would have nothing to talk to them about. I am 30 and haven't done anything since leaving college at 18. I don't even leave my house to go places.

Very difficult. I've really only had 2 close friends in more than a half century. I hope to improve that rate, I'm running out of time for #3.

One of the most interesting stories I have ever read was written by a man who was severely paralysed, about the years when people didn't know he was conscious.

That sounds terrifying, I think that would be worse than being a slave.

If you were just being yourself, couldn't you find friends who have the same interests as you? I'm guessing if you show you care won't they care about you back?