Does your autism make it hard to relate to your generation?

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I used to be like you when I was a teenager. I did have a few friends my age but found that I had better conversations with their parents than I did with my friends.
But nowadays I seem to enjoy younger friends because people my age are usually at a stage in life I simply do not understand.

Yes, absolutely. I look at myself and then I look at others in my generation and age group and I just don't seem to understand or get them

I do have a hard time relating to my generation, but I think it has more to do with how I was raised and the fact that I'm technically "between" generations. My birthdate can fall under Millennial or Gen Z depending on where you look and I don't relate all that well to either of them. There are some things I can relate to with other people that are also near that divide but, unfortunately, there's too much I just can't relate to with anybody anywhere in either generation and I'm fairly certain it's mostly because of how much time I spent with my great grandparents, and to some extent my parents, when I was very young. When my parents were at work my siblings and I were at my great grandparent's house. I didn't spend much time with other kids my own age. None even lived nearby enough to try to spend time with. So my formative years were spent mostly absorbing the culture (is this the right word?) of my great grandparent's and my parent's generations rather than my own generations'. For the most part the shows and films I watched, the music I listened to, the books I read, the mannerisms and language I observed, were theirs rather than my peers'. And that created a pretty big chasm between me and other kids my own age from very early on. I'm sure my autism contributed to that chasm as well, but not as much as my lack of exposure to the interests and trends of my own generations.

When I was in my twenties and thirties, most of my friends were 10 to 20 years older than me. (Not quite my parents' age, though. My parents were about 40 years older than me.)


I had similar interests in my twenties, and intermittently throughout my adult life.

As for political activism, it was my impression that there are plenty of young people interested in political activism these days. But perhaps not your particular flavor of political activism?


I too disliked most people in my age group when I was young. I still do not feel that I would be compatible with the vast majority of people.


Have you ever made a point of seeking out the specific subset of younger people who share your interests? For example, a quick Google search just now led me to something called the Young Philosophers Society. Dunno if this is quite your cup of tea, but, if it isn't, perhaps you might be able to search systematically something closer to what you want, if you have not done so already?


In all likelihood you will never cease to feel alienated from the vast majority of people in your own age group, although your perception of the reasons for that alienation will likely change (and perhaps get a little less self-congratulatory?) over time.

So, instead of waiting, it would probably be better to search more systematically for groups of young people who share your interests and values, at least to some extent if not totally.

Hi! I wouldn't say it makes it harder to relate to my peers - rather, folks that are older than me have generally shown more patience to listen to me talk about my special interests. Also, in general, folks that are older than me seem more mellow, less judgmental, and more accepting of my eccentric traits.

I remember wondering to myself thinking about millennials (born between 1980 and 1997) gaining knowledge and experiences growing up and so on and relating to one another and thinking how can someone born in 1981 know or experience certain things compared to someone born in 1996? Someone born in 81 must have come of age in 99 which baffles me know, I didn't come of age until the late 2000s.

I am one of the members of Gen Z, an earlier one to be exact. I was about 4-6 when flip phones and Blackberries were the latest cell phone technology, before taking photographs with your phone was even normalized and was seen as valuable. Texting was a real pain during that era (when my mother had only a flip phone) because we had to press a certain key repeatedly just to get a single letter we wanted. Once we had a Blackberry, I was so relieved to have a phone with a keyboard that functioned like a computer. I remember Windows Vista, and I remember playing outside as a child, doing so regularly up until I was about 10 years old. I remember having a computer lab and the beginnings of YouTube.

However, technology and some TV shows/cartoons/movies aside, I felt like I grew up relatively anachronistically compared to other Centennials around my age. I watched cartoons from the 1930s to the 2000s regularly (Popeye was a home favorite to play every night before bed when I was about 4 years old. I also watched a lot of Looney Tunes and Tom & Jerry.) I watched a lot of movies that were period-based, including those aimed at children or family audiences such as Nanny McPhee and Stewart Little (the latter seems present-based but with 1950s aesthetics). Heck, even some of the more modern cartoons of the time were anachronistic, such as Courage the Cowardly Dog and Ed, Edd, 'n' Eddy. I'd also watch movies such as Beetlejuice and Coneheads, among others, which all led me to believe that vintage was still relevant in the modern era. I identified strongly with vintage fashion, dialect, and behavior than I did with modern ones. That was until I began watching Cartoon Network shows in the 2010s, which sort of made me stray for a little from my natural vintage inclinations. This seemed to have primarily lasted until 2018. I'd also listen primarily to 80s', 90s', and 70s' music throughout the 2000s and early 2010s.

Aside from growing up anachronistically and how that affected my love of vintage vs. modern, since childhood, I was always treated differently from adults, especially in academic settings. According to my mother, they considered me so advanced that they wanted me to skip about 1-2 grades by 1st grade, but my father declined since he wanted me to socialize more with children my age. (Little did he know that I was being ostracized and bullied in school, and I would have loved to advance simply to get away from my school bully.) This was something that was observed in me throughout my childhood up until I was about 17. My 3rd grade teachers took notes of my vocabulary, among other things. When my parents brought me to my oldest brother's school due to an outburst he was having (he's "lower functioning" than I am), they were very engaged with me while I was ranting, genuinely wanting to hear my opinions on the matter, and my mother eventually told me that they told her that they liked me a lot.

I suppose my more advanced cognition compared to those my age, alongside my love of vintage, has rendered me baffled by my generation and only able to relate to certain childhood experiences and perhaps superficial aspects of being Gen Z. Otherwise, I am dumbfounded by their manner of speech (I dislike modern slang so much), many of their beliefs and behaviors, their treatment of others, their aesthetics and clothing preferences, among other things. I've seen a few I share common beliefs, thoughts, aesthetics, manner of speech, and fashion choices with, but for the most part, I tend to relate a little bit more with older generations. Even then, I feel as though I am still excessively inexperienced with life and juvenile in certain manners to engage with them frequently...

I don't know if it's quite an autism thing, though...

From childhood until now I haven't.

As with most of us I have always felt different, so why should it be different with my generation?

The teenage years are usually the most difficult to be different. It is a time in life when we are trying to figure out our identities and notice differences more. Our peers notice this also at which is rarely good.

Usually, the music we most identify with occurs during one's teen years. While I liked the Classic Rock of my teenage 70s, I think of the "New wave/post punk/synthpop years" 80s as my music. While most of my peers stayed with Classic Rock I dove headfirst into New Wave a genre most associated with Gen X. It had, especially in the early years, a jerky, nervous feel which I could relate to. The New wave musicians were around my age. I am not gay and was not into the flamboyant fashion and hairstyles, but felt what we shared was being outsiders in our own generation. The local New wave station slogan was "Dare to be Different." Then New wave became popular. I was working as a computer programmer, then still cutting-edge.

Teenagers want to differentiate themselves from what came before and create something new. By my middle late 20s I felt that is what I had done.

Fast forward to 2025. Looking back, while that was fun, some of it was delusional. My career and social progress are radically different from my peers, making it as hard as ever to relate. ONTH when compared to Gen Z I often find myself feeling very out of touch and relating when my peers b***h about those kids. I feel growing up with free range parenting was much better, gender fluidity seems bizarre, as well as political positions associated with Gen Z. Their formative years are radically different from mine in so many ways, there is no doubt I am a boomer, sort of.

I don't know man. I have dated men older than me that weren't as mature as seemed. Years ago I have dated a 35 year old California tech bro who would always have inappropriate talk and had a short temper. Not to mention he was constantly pestering me despite the fact I was at work. If I didn't know his age I would've thought he was in his early twenties.

The ones I seem to dislike most are my own age group. Older and younger work better. Not entirely sure autism is to blame for it all.
Must admit I am also myself easier to be around these days (according to me at least... sort of not an expert on the matter but 50+ years of experience, usually more opinionated on the anti side).

And yes, daughters of younger friends are of legal age to date My little gen-z tag along thinks Chuck Berry is music of my age... so somehow a bit odd cultural generation gaps (on this account... I wish but MY mom is born in that era)

A big thing on YouTube is reaction videos. A subset of that I am into is Gen Z and Millennials reacting to music from the '60s through the '80s. When I started watching them, I expected them to get the meaning and context all wrong because they did not live through those eras. Sometimes that happens, but more often than not, they do get it, and sometimes they see something obvious I have missed for decades. What they usually get wrong is the date the song came out.