social skills

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what are social skills? lol

the only way to learn social skills is from social experiences.

Well really how you learn them is by starting with small things like if you are in a social setting and people are making the tea and biscuits, you could offer to help and then you would be just asking if they wanted tea or coffee, then maybe if they wanted sugar or something and sometimes people will say something about the weather and you can say if you like it or not.

Of course, to learn how to do it, you have to go out and start mixing with people for those little things to happen.

I shouldn't really be replying to this though because there are many places I won't go back to because I messed up, badly and the people weren't pleased My losing it and shouting at my tutor in college was a bad experience for him but I was kind and went to another place to continue my course.

So if you do get to talk just keep a real big hold on yourself in case you say something wrong. Its hard work, it really is but its possible.

Meeting with other Aspies is better if you can find them because you already have something in common.

I am a girl...

Oh, sorry. But, you know, whatever you're into.

When I was 4yrs. old, my mother told me to use that line to start a conversation. We were walking through a toy store one day and I wanted to tell someone to move out of the way so I could get passed. It was a man, possibly in his mid 20s and possibly homeless [don't ask me why he was in there, I have no idea]. He was wearing very tattered sneakers and I did like my mother told me and said to him..."Those are nice shoes. Where did you get them?....can you move?"
Sorry, just a random memory!

In regards to learning social skills...maybe read some self help books on how to make friends. They often have these at libraries. They often tell you about things like body language, what to say and what not to say etc. I have read one and it helped a bit. Or just research how to learn social skills online...it's a lot faster than going to the library...but going there will give you a chance to be around others, which is another thing that you will need to learn social skills.

I'll Google social skills and see what comes up.

Google is amasing thing, but in the case of social skills practise is essential. I've upgraded a conversation in the dry style "question-answer" into smalltalk mostly by listening another people and trying to improve my speech.

Mhm, I didn't find anything helpful.

I weep for you.

http://www.helium.com/tm/771790/making- ... ide-school

Cool! You should print that article out and give it to your family.

http://www.succeedsocially.com/

It's good and fine reading about social skills, but it's using them that's going to be hard for me.

Observation, experimentation....kind of like science I guess.

I know its tough. I am still working on it yourselves.

I would first have a couple of good friends and chill with them on a regular basis.

Then you could go to places where you can practice getting to know people like bars, clubs, coffee shops, etc.

Watch how your NT friends approach people and do the same thing eventually. Don't rush though.

Men and Women are different so you have to act differently.

It takes time but will be worth it in the end.

If you want some more specifics message me, ill help to my best ability.

You'd think with social skills being as important as they are, they'd be widely available social skills training? I mean not just for us degenerate socially inept aspies but for the socially inept NT's too or even moderately adept NT's looking to improve. Social skills are massively important and something that could really improve your chances in life. It is just one of those things that people take for granted that you'll pick up? I don't see why, they can be learned and improved in a formal setting just like any other skill.