ryansjoy wrote:
i post this as a parent of a child with AS. its sad that so many of you feel this way about your family. I know an AS trait is to be rigid and not see anything in between. What you think is uncaring might not be. I would never want my son to feel this way. I lay awake at night thinking of how I can relate to my son better. Try to put yourself in a lot of parents shoes. Its hard to raise children in general. its even harding raising a child of special needs. maybe what you see as them not wanting to do what you want might be beacuse you feel that its your way or no way at all. We try hard to please everyone and take crap from everyone along the way. We fought like hell to make people understand that you have AS. We fought with your school to make sure you received the proper education for your special needs. We took shite from Dr's telling us that we needed to be stronger parents and be more or a principal in a school rather than a parent. Now I understand that many of you have parents who are pretty crappy. (my X had adoptive parents who beat him day nd night because they did not understand his AS) But I like to think that most of us are better parents trying to make our famlies happy. I feel its pretty sad that if you don't have a bond with your own family you can hang up having one with others.. you might complain that you have no friends but your best friends are your family who give up their life for you. I try never to change my son but to let him be what he needs to be to feel comfortable. Yes I make him do things he does not want to do. But thats life and thats a lesson in life. Get over it. As a parent I do family things with my family. At times we don't have 2 nickles to rub together because 1 parent stays home to raise the family and make sure that the kids are not being taken care of by other people. we try to do things that don't cost a lot. yes my son wants to do greater things but he knows that we don't have a lot... Basically I say that some of you have great familes who try like heck to understand you. but at times you make it very hard for us to understand. its a 2 way street! i know from having a son with AS how hard it is to have him see that you can bed a little on the street.. but he sees the light.. he is 9 today and I tahnk god every day I have him.. yes he is a challange but a mother loves her child no matter what!
Not every family is the same, ryansjoy.
Alot of people have psychological disorders, and alot of them have kids. Alot of people just aren't equipped to deal with kids - even "normal" ones.
My parents were pretty good (well, the one that ended up with custody of me was, at any rate). But I saw alot of things in other people's homes when I was a kid that still make me angry. And there is at least one person I have known since we were kids, who never should have become a parent, and it torments me - it makes me feel so helpless. There are parents out there who can't cope (as I say, even with "normal" kids) and take out their frustrations on the kids, lash out at them and say things to hurt them. There are even worse things that happen out there. Unfortunately, it's the kids with problems who are much more likely to receive this treatment - sometimes because they're easier to lash out at and people are more forgiving when they are mean-spirited to their child with problems ("she must have alot to deal with, poor thing") or sometimes because the parent really can't cope and is in crisis.
And there are also children who don't know what a good thing they've got, but I'd never assume that about any particular youth unless I knew them and their home circumstances personally. Just in case, I was wrong ... because if I was, I'd be adding blame and shame to a life already overflowing with it.
20 Aug 2006, 5:55 pm
