Can you be Asperger's and still be "cool"?

Post Reply New Topic

if you can afford an air conditioner, then you can be cool no matter who you are

LOL!

I would not want to be cool. It requires interest in things I find useless and insight in situations I cannot understand.

"Hipness is...what it is
And sometimes hipness is what it aint"
-Tower of Power from the song "What Is Hip"

The song is 40 years old and comes from a time when "hip" and "cool" were synonyms (maybe they still are, what do I know?) but the principle still stands. When it comes to Aspergers syndrome, I think "sometimes coolness is what it 'aint". People who mope about being/not being cool and who either contort themselves trying to be cool or who sneer and feel superior to those they have labeled cool...are not cool. But there can be an aura of cool around people who really, truly do not care if they are perceived as cool (which is different from feeling superior to those people and celebrating outsider status as better). These are the people who go deep into their special interests (via autism/Aspergers) yet manage to not feel either superior to those who don't share the interest nor petulant if the interest becomes popular to a large number of people.

I have met a couple of these people over my lifetime and they are undeniably cool. To me at least. Since coolness is subjective, we all get to make up our own definitions and usage and that is mine.

Anything's possible, I knew an Aspergers guy who seemed completely normal and had a lot of girlfriends so I'd say yes.

Cool is a relative and subjective word. It is all depends upon personal and group expereiences and what they admire in a person. "Coolness" can also change over time.

I think it is completely possible for a person with Autism/Aspergers to be considered cool. When I was a member of our State Tournament basketball team in high school, I fell in that category. When I was involved as a chairperson of a committee for our local Democratic Party I was considered cool. Lastly, over the past couple of years, my work in rebuilding my community has made me cool in certain people's eyes.

If one wants to achieve "coolness" with other people, the best thing to do is get involved in something or take on a hobby.

Not sure because I don't know every autistic person. I'm not all that 'cool' but ymmv.

Depends on the definition of cool. Do you mean suave and popular? Most people with Asperger's probably wouldn't be that simply because of our social skills and our general inability to follow arbitrary social norms. That's alright since that form of cool is highly overrated. However, some people could look at some aspies and think they are cool in that they are a generally likable and interesting person. For example if an aspie knew some awesome magic tricks they might impress people. When I was in the fifth grade, when it came time in school for everyone to share what stories they wrote everyone would want to hear mine first because I wrote the best ones. Thus, some of the people in my fourth grade class actually liked me, even though many of the people in the class didn't and nearly everyone outside of the class thought I was a freak. So, at the time about five or six people thought I was cool. Now that I'm older some people inform me I am cool meaning that I am an interesting person with admirable personality characteristics. They generally say this because they like my nonconformity to many social rules and my large knowledge of a variety of arcane things. Some of my aspie friends are thought to be cool for the same reasons or for other reasons. None of us are the first definition of cool simply because that definition almost intrinsically required being highly conformist, of average or below intellect, having amazing social skills, trendy and very "normal." All of these things aspies tend to not be very good at. Frankly I consider that kind of cool mutually exclusive to the other cool, though many disagree.

According to most people who know me, I'm the "coolest person they've ever met". As an Aspie, I've found that being an Aspie and being cool isn't mutually exclusive, they go hand in hand. Different is today's cool, if applied properly. Cool today isn't about fitting in with the crowd, its about standing out from it. Its because I stand out from my group of friends that they think I'm cool. But just standing out doesn't do it... you have to stand out with style. Basically making a statement does it. I'm not talking so much about the clothes or superficial things like these, I'm talking about what you do, both on a small, every day scale and a larger, rest of your life scale. If you make a statement by succeeding, by being a voice, or by doing something generally noticeable that isn't causing trouble, that's basically how I became cool.

But, truth be told, its not the people who think you're cool you need in your life, its the people who care about you regardless. If you want true happiness, look for them instead.

If by cool, you mean commuting to work on a hi-wheeler bicycle while wearing early 1900s apparel? Then I am pretty frickin cool!


People occasionally stop and ask if they can take my picture. One day after a picture, the lady said. I thought you weren't allowed to have your picture taken. Then it dawned on me. There is a amish community in the area and they think I am amish. Idiots. All these people are going home from vacation thinking they have a picture of a amish man on a hi-wheeler. Little do they know its a autistic guy with a weird hobby. I still oblige for the pictures. Its their fault for not asking. Plus their idiocy makes me laugh.

I say 'cool' is a state of mind. Aspies have infinite amounts of mind to work with, therefore infinite opportunities to develop their own individual brands of 'coolness'. We are the X-Men! In our unique coolness, let us be united!

Yes you can. My niece and nephews think I'm cool because I have lot of video games.

I'm pretty sure that over here (in my country/city/school/group, not sure yet), "cool" includes:
- Being "emotionally mute" most of the time
- Speech leans towards quality instead of quantity
- Having a certain appeal that attracts people without any effort (might be the eccentricity)
- You never lose your "coolness"
- Doesn't afraid of anything

So overall, I've never had a problem being the "cool guy" from the group/school/city/country (still not sure yet).

Edit: Oh, I might want to say I've never tried to be "cool", it's just a label that has been glued to me over the last 8 years, throughout various circles of friends (acquaintances would be more accurate though).

i am cool enough to realize i can not participate in heated debates without melting down

i will be cool when i have been dead for 12 hours

This would fall under my "Speech leans towards quality instead of quantity" rule.

If I encounter one of the three following criteria, I acknowledge my words won't merit further discussion, stop talking and thus avoid any overly heated debates.
- I acquired knowledge that my initial stance was wrong, and thereby accept my loss
- The opposing party accepts that I was right, and as a result of that the argue will cease
- I realize that the opposing party and/or I are too stubborn, regarding the current topic, ergo making any further words on that topic inferior

If I'm honest with myself at those moments, I will always be able to keep my cool when debating.

(I do assume the opposing party does not lack common sense and integrity, if that isn't the case, I wouldn't have started a debate to begin with.)