Friends that don't know you well enough

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in corey's defense, when i saw his emails, even if what he wrote showed that he did not understand/believe my previous email, i still felt good b/c he wrote me *an* email.

and he was a better "friend" to me than vice versa.

all things equal, the only "friend" less wrong than corey was dena.

so whatever.

there is no such thing as a perfect "friend" or perfect email and even if there were, it would be boring.

and i wasn't the perfect "friend" either.

but i just don't and did not like it when he kept pressuring me to do thigns that i didn't wanna do. even if they are not "bad" thigns per se (like taking community college courses so i could qualify as a student for internships that require applicants to be students).

peer pressure

bad influence

he acted like he knew me so well, but he didn't. however, that's not a "dealbreaker" per se. for most spiders. although maybe it is or should be, for me.

corey's judgmental. positive judgments are just as judgmental as negative ones.

he thinks he knows me much better than he does.

and he kept pressuring me to do things i didn't wanna do. not "bad" or "wrong" things but ineffective job search. and he wouldn't talk to me until i did them.

i've done some of the things he had the nerve to peer pressure me to do and none of them got me a job.

in his defense, he didn't profit from me doing those things, and he was trying to "help", and he was one of my best "friends".

been tempted to write corey a long email

but he often doesn't answer

and when he does answer he often misses the point

and just keeps pressuring me to do things i don't wanna do

and reminding me i got a college degree

might as well just write a journal

Maybe Corey is or was a better "friend" to me than vice versa

There are an infinite number of ways to look at any one situation

Maybe I am unreasonable and high maintenance and impatient and self righteous and self important, just like head cashier Angela d

There is nothing that great about me either

coreys birthday today. i did not contact him. (shrug). he hasn't answered my email from august last year. but whatever. larry had the nerve to outright refuse to answer my emails.

maybe i was unreasonable and high mainteancne, just like angela d and angela w

11th grade english teacher said that the things you don't like about other people are the same as the things you don't like about yourself. which is correct, but "hatred" is not a finite commodity. "hatred" is like igniting a fire.

at least corey did not have the nerve to outright refuse to answer emails. (unlike larry).

so wahtever

besides there is no such thing as a "perfect friend". and i am not that great myself either. and even if he were perfect, then what? whooptie do.

i feel guilty for being so entitled.

there's no law that said he had to be perfect and i wasn't paying him either.

corey has been grotesquely overestimating his "advisor" skills.

he has been grotesquely overestimating my occupational prospects.

he has been underestimating my coworkers. he said he was "sure none of the other lot attendants have college degrees," but i have not done an educational background check on them, nor do i care if they have college degrees. plenty of really stupid tarantulas have Master's degrees, not just Bachelors. for example: kayla and rolando. so what? they have Master's degrees. their critical thinking skills are even worse than the critical thinking skills of wild animals.

corey acts like he knows everything about my situation, but he doesn't know anything about my situation. and when i try to tell him or explain, he doesn't hear/care/understand/believe/remember what i said.

and then he keeps trying to pressure me to do things i do not want to do. for example, take community college classes so i could qualify to apply for internships that require interns to be students. granted, he was trying to "help", he didn't earn commission, he didn't tell me to do anything "bad" or "wrong" per se. and nobody is perfect. but i just hate the way he put WAY too much peer pressure on me to do things.

i don't like it when corey has the nerve to keep reminding me that i have a college degree. that's the only thing he "cares" about me. that's the only thing he "knows" about me. corey is/was so annyoing. i don't like being reminded that i have a college degree, any more than i like being called "chino". a college degree is not a magic wand. a college degree is a scam and not worth the paper it was printed on. i kept trying to explain to corey but he wouldn't be receptive. if i can't convince him of THAT, then i can't convince anyone of anyhthing. corey is overly confident in my skills. he doesn't know me that well either.