Making Aspie friends

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The only aspergers/autistic i remember meeting did not talk at all. He was a cool guy though. Even though he wouldn't talk I'd talk to him, make jokes, and he'd make facial gestures which showed he could process what I was saying and getting at least some enjoyment out of socializing. Health class was a blast. I really miss seeing that guy I hope he is alright.

Ive known about 3 aspies since Ive gotten diagnosed, within 4 years. One guy, he went to my school, I didnt know he had aspergers till we were in the same aspie group. But Id say we got along pretty well even tho we never really got to know each other that well.

Then theres a guy whos Im sorta friends with, our relationship is very surface based. It's really hard to make a real connection with him. We typically go off on individual tangents about whatever. I went on a few outings with him individually during spring break cause I didnt have any friends around. And when I told a few people later, they were like "what?", Im thinking whats so bad about it? shurgs

The other guy, I met online(not of an AS site). We hungout and that friendship went downhill till we practically hated each other due to varying factors.

I've known a few people online and Id say that its sometimes hard to make a real connection with aspies. But Id say that overall I get along equally with aspies and NT's, considering that how well I get along with NTs can vary vastly.

My oldest son is also an aspie, so, he is my best aspie friend. My wife is not an aspie, she's NT but she's my best friend too.

But I don't know personally any other aspies besides me and my son.

The majority of the aspies I've met are female and are either someone I would have a hard time being friends with or didn't know how to communicate with. I dated one guy I believe was an aspie though, and we got along really well.

I have a couple aspie friends that I didn't know were aspie before I was diagnosed. We get along fine. We have things in common and then know things the other doesn't, so we're learning from and teaching each other in very interesting conversations. It's fun and a lot less frustrating than having discussions with NTs on the same topics. I love my NT friends but there's a lot of clarifying and reclarifying that wears me out.

Looking back, I'm sure one of my ex-boyfriends was aspie but he was less functional than me. I excused a lot of his behavior as an Only Child thing. I became briefly reacquainted with him last year and discovered quickly that he hadn't changed at all. If it was just an Only Child thing, he would have improved the longer he was away from his parents and not the center of the universe.

My best friend of 15 years in an Aspie. When we met one another at a high school job we both held, we immediately clicked. We do share a lot in common, but I have noticed that he has started to annoy me over the last few years. His interests have changed from politics (one of my special interests) to ham radios and police scanners (an interest he had when he was a child. Also, I am kind of tired of hearing about his failed romances with women that he has met on the internet. He complains that he has no friends, so I have tried to get him involved with activities locally that involve his special interests, hence meeting friends. He has declined and would much rather meet people on the internet.

I just learned the other day that an acquaintance of mine since high school also has Aspergers. I have kept the relationship at the topical and acquaintance level due to the fact that he also suffers from other behavioral and mental health issues. Due to this, he often spouts racist and radical religious and political views. I don't want to lose touch with him due to the fact that he has very few others in his life to talk to, but I feel I have to distance myself from his radical views.

I have had a couple of other friends in my life who had borderline autism (would probably be diagnosed with Aspergers today). One was my best friend in high school. we clicked with one another, but he led double lives, so to speak. He had ADHD and ODD, which got him in trouble with the law years later. Sometimes his ADHD and ODD, defined his personality more than his Aspergers did. Another friend of mine also had ADHD and ODD along with borderline autism, we were childhood playmates together. He also had some troubles with his behavior, got a girl pregnant when he was in high school and got ODD with his parents and other authority figures. Thankfully, he turned out to be a successful person, he was elected mayor of his small town of residence, and runs the maintence department at a local large employer. Sadly, we tried to reconnect a couple of years ago, with disasterous results.

I have come to learn that Aspergers along isnt the problem with friendships. It is the fact that many people that have AS also have other behavioral and mental health issues that get in the way of the friendship.

I know of several aspies and have had both NT and aspie acquintances. Since NT out number aspies by about 100 to 1 (?) I would say that I have a much easier time with aspies even if I don't become close to them. NT's can be easy or very difficult for me to be around I almost feel vulunerable around some of them for some unknown reason. I have never felt that way around an aspie.