1two3four5 wrote:
Is listening to people talk and making relevant replies out of the question? I understand the nature of AS can make this hard but nobody ever got good at sociality without practice. IMHO the AS perspective is that being NT means being gifted with sociality; whereas the gift is a predisposition to be interested in it, not the ability itself. NT's have to learn social convention too!
It is not just a predisposition to be interested in it... many Aspies are interested in being social. It is the ability or lack thereof to read and understand body language, which conveys a significant amout of information in the average NT conversation. Whereas the presence of mirror neurons in the NT means that such skill is innate and subconscious, the lack of said neurons means that AS/HFA are "blind" in that department.
So your statement is like telling a blind person they just need to see colors.
Some Aspies, through observation and trial and error develop a "script" which enables them to function to some extent. However, any change in the script and we are once again at sea. We often don't know what the change is, as it has been conveyed by body language and we didn't get that info. Then our "script" makes us stand out like a sore thumb.
Also, due to the fact that we think in pictures (or many of us anyway) we are translating spoken word to picture and then back to spoken word... which leads to a delay in our speaking. Just try it for a day... take one good deep breath before speaking and see how it throws a wrench into a conversation.
Studies have shown that AS/HFA brains has a much greater amount of white matter (the body of neurons responsible for conveying sensory info), less interconnectivity between areas of the brain, and a slightly lower than average amount of grey matter (responsible for executive or organizing function). The white matter is organized differently, resulting in greater sensitivity to stimulus and less ability to filter extraneous sensory info.
As a result, the ability to filter background noises and focus on what a single individual is saying is more difficult for your average AS/HFA individual. There is a young Aspie on these boards who has asked if there's any computer program that will flash painfully bright lights, scream deafening noises, and jumble visual patterns so that he can give his family an idea of what his world is like. Now obviously a person who is wanting to go to a party isn't as severely affected, but the effect of having to block and focus is generally more difficult for us, using up more of our already depleted "executive function" and making it hard for us to stay appropriately in the flow of conversation.
Even as a relatively mildly affected teen, I was known for leaving the party/bar early, as I just got too tired. I rarely went on my own, mostly went in the company of friends who were accustomed to me. I didn't talk much because I couldn't make out what was being said, but we all danced together so I still had a good time. And though I didn't drink, I still needed a day to recover from the sensory overload. I was also almost in several bar fights as a result of not reading the signs... at all. Fortunately my friends would intervene before someone broke a pool cue over my head. To this day I still don't know why people get so pissed off at me.
It's a whole lot more than just learning social convention.
Hence the appropriate social anxiety... as nearly everyone on these boards has routinely had their head bitten off by several someones and really has no idea why. One comes to expect it very early on in life.
Unless one has strong narcissistic tendencies (an occasional co-morbid condition) and just blames everyone else. That gets real ugly...
10 Sep 2009, 6:48 pm
