How do you think of questions to ask while conversing?

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Who_Am_I
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21 Nov 2009, 6:12 am

A few days ago, I was conversing with an orchestral colleague. She was keeping the conversation going by asking me questions about things going on in my life, and I couldn't reciprocate (besides answering questions) because I couldn't think of anything to ask her, and I couldn't think of anything else to say that would continue the conversation.
This is a big problem in my interactions.

How do people think of questions to ask to show interest in the other person? Even if one is interested in whom one is speaking to, if the conversation is all "me me me" and "my interests", it will look like one is uninterested in the other person.

How does one think of things to say to continue a conversation?


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sacrip
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21 Nov 2009, 8:35 am

The easiest way is probably to re-ask a question you were just asked. If someone says "How's your job going?", then you can answer and ask, "Well, how is YOUR job going?" Also, try and remember things you talked about the last time, so you can bring them up again. If someone was waiting to hear something important the last time, you can begin with, "So, did you ever find out about that thing we talked about last time?" People often forget what they talked about before, so this is a good way to get things going in a way they'll be enthusiastic about.


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jamesongerbil
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21 Nov 2009, 2:39 pm

yeah sacrip is right. try just general questions, like about their instrument, school, life. what ever is related to what you just said. if you are talking about your coffee or whatever, ask them about theirs, or if they like coffee. i guess that's also a good way to ask someone out, now that i think about it. that's off topic though. still, maybe you can see your new friend outside of the classroom?



Who_Am_I
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21 Nov 2009, 8:15 pm

What if the questions they ask are non-reflectible (i.e., they only apply to your life), or if you don't know more than a few facts about them?
(BTW, this wasn't a new friend; this person has been in the orchestra with me for years. And this wasn't a classroom situation (I'm not in school).)


_________________
Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I