Surrounded by people but feel solitary?

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This has been a pervasive problem for as long as I can remember myself. I go out of my way to find myself some company, get involved in some activities, but after a while it seems that regardless of the effort invested and how active / provocative / communicative I tried to get, it seems there is no single person that would correspond to everybody's notion of 'self' that I would get others to befriend.

At this point I just get up in the morning completely detached from all prior experiences, not really remembering any details or learning anything from them (nothing that I can think of anyway), but only bearing afflictions. It's as if I am born anew each day with all the pain still with me, and all experiences distant even on the level of not being able to recollect their details.

Can anybody relate to this? Or on the contrary, have you experienced the opposite - a situation where you feel you're actually socialising with people as opposed to conjuring discourse and generating information right in front of them as if you were an actor on stage and they the spectator?

I have been in a room and people ignore me and I have walked up to people and try to talk and they turn away from me-I think that is quite a hint to say they do not like me for some reason even before getting to know me

I get very uncomfortable when people seemingly obviously (to me at least) pretend they don't recognise me when I greet them, and then attempt to establish contact with me after some time, and it tends to repeat. It's the second thing (ambiguity of caring and not caring) that actually bothers me, and if I just see that a person doesn't want to talk to me, I stop trying to communicate to them entirely (and also get discouraged for future opportunities).

However, at times people seem genuinely interested in keeping touch, so I end up harbouring hopes, and it's even more painful when the person just cuts me off without explanation when I'm very attached and affectionate towards them. I also suspect I could fail to express it in the acceptable way (I either don't express it at all, or really overdo it).