i am so crap at making friends

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that i cant even make friends on the internet. every forum i go onto i dont have a single thing in common with anyone and i have no way to connect to anyone. i dont really know how to remedy the situation. im terribly lonely. i sit on my ass at home every weekend and it sucks.

I don't have any answers. Mostly I just wanted to let you know your post is being read. I can't initiate friendships.

I sit on my ass on the weekends, too. Sometimes I don't bathe. I read your post too. I don't really know how to alleviate your problem, either...You'll probably meet someone eventually. Join a forum about your special interests?

My suggestion is to find out if there is anything you do that is driving people away from you.
Do you talk too much?
Do you have bad manners?
Do you have bad hygiene?
Do you act condescendingly?
Do you act immaturely?
Do you criticize people too often?

i got some tips for you although i cant promise they will work.
1 keep your mouth shut and listen
2 when it comes time to talk just agree (have no opinions)
3 make sure conversation is at all times light. ask simple questions like "hows work treating you" or "hows school"
4hide all emotions except a casual happiness
5 if conversation dries up talk about that persons interest (there are clues about the person all around you, be observant to shirts bookbags and other various objects the person owns but dont touch their stuff just look)
6 pretend to be genuinly interested in anything the person says
7 after youve been friends with the individual for a time the rules change and your allowed a few small mistakes once in a while except for being annoying which seems to be the friendship annihilator (i recomend staying away from booze or anything that will alter your mind)
8 dont complain
9 dont harass phone calls. if you are being blown off after making plans then just let it go. if the person cares about you youl get a call in the next 3 to 5 days from the person trying to set up something new and maybe even an apology.
10 learn their lingo. my friends say stuff like "thats mad chill" "whats up dude" "wanna hangout" "you down for some ________" *insert activity in line
11 one last tip i dont recomend unless you have alot of mental stamina and capacity. plan entire conversations before you start talking. if it doesnt go exactly as you scripted it dont panic and improv a little(if you followed my rules and kept things light it should be easy). also plan your tone of voice, dont be monotonous but dont emphasize too much. also use a little body language like give a high five during "dude moment" raise your eye brows when he tells you a story about how badly someone treated him. also dont forget to smile, and laughter is contagious, and people love to laugh, which means if you make them laugh they will love you.
i could probly make this list go into the thousands but idont want to overload you. you wont master this quickly so dont get discouraged. if you need any additional help you may ask if you wish. good luck out there