Autistic friend and mom playing games with me

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I have gone back and forth with this autistic adult female who lives with her mother and is still acting like she is 12 though she is 35. Both of them have done immature and weird things.

1. On one hand, she talks to me about how much she loves me like a sister and wants to be my friend and the next she says and does mean things to me that get under my skin.
For example:
Today she called me up and we had a nice conversation via Facebook messenger calling which she was nice and even talked about how her grandfather really liking me. I told her about a New Year's Party that I am having but she could not make it. Then tonight she messaged me about how she saw that I was at my friend's house for Christmas. Then she talked about hoping to see me in the New Year. I said, "Maybe for your birthday," and she talked about having plans with the neighbors so I talked about us meeting up for lunch. Then she goes, "You don't know these people and I would like to introduce if you didn't talk too much."

-Sure I talk a lot but she does too

2. There are several times where I have gotten together with Alicia and her mother on several occasions and they have often talked about things they did with so and so or they are going to.
Examples-
Three years ago, we went to a birthday party for another autistic friend and the whole time they talked about this big brunch they were going to have with their family while they knew I didn't have any plans and would be alone.

Earlier this year, they thanked my friend for throwing my autistic friend a birthday party that I never heard about.

I feel that this relationship is history because I am sick of playing games with them and I don't want to. What should I say and how should I do it?

Some of the traits of Aspies are:
* despite a desire for friends, difficulty in initiating or maintaining close relationships
* perceived to be cold-hearted and self-centered, unfriendly
* socially awkward (inability to socialize) (severe impairment in reciprocal social interaction)
* does not understand conventional social rules
* shows a lack of empathy (difficulty understanding others’ feelings, difficulty communicating feelings)
* unaware of others’ thoughts, feelings, desires, intentions or perceptions resulting in inadvertently appearing rude or inconsiderate

So the traits of Alicia may be just Aspies being Aspies. She may not be playing games with you. These traits are probably why so many NTs find it difficult to be friends with Aspies. So I would recommend that you give her the benefit of the doubt and then explain to her rather directly that she has hurt you and explain how.

I will keep that in mind in regards to the Asperger's piece but she has turned a lot of other aspies off as well as others in the disability community. Also, one of my other friends and I were recently talking, she sees her more than me. She said that this friend has a temper and can be very unpredictable.

Some of her other examples:
1. She has called me up on the phone to let me know that she wanted to invite me to her sister's wedding shower but her mom refused to let her. Yet, her mom had invited her two friends.
2. She called me up and talked about how her mom and grandmother didn't think I should serve on jury duty because I am autistic and because I like to "Chit chat" and that her mother gets called in all the time and that I would not know or understand the technical terms.

Maybe the problem you are having is with Alicia's mother rather than Alicia.

How is it when you and Alicia are alone together? Do you get along well?

She is very unpredictable where one minute she will talk about how she loves me and how I am like a sister to her and how she wants to do things with me. Then the next she will say mean things like the examples above and even when it's the two of us.

I just really feel that maybe Alicia and I are not just the best fit for one another and the main reasons
1. There is an emotional age gap between us
2. We don't have anything in common
3. My friendship with her is an emotional roller coaster

One of the traits of Aspies is that they tend to have no filters.

So if you take the exact words from Alicia

Alicia want to invite you.
But her mother didn't. It is her mom that snubbed you.



It is Alicia's mom and grandmother who snubbed you in this example not Alicia. She has no filter. Probably if Alicia was an NT, she would have told you nothing. She is probably telling you because she feels you should know what her mom and grandmother said.

Thank you for helping me sort this out and yes I do agree that her mother has been snubbing me because again but every time I interact with her, she seems really phony to me. She also seems like the type of woman who is the busybody type.

If you also read above in the first post of this thread, she and her daughter talked about their plans of having Christmas brunch when they knew I would be alone. They talked about who was going to be there constantly. The thing is, they used to invite me to things in the past and they talked about how I was like their family.

However, Alicia dropped hints that they didn't like it that I "Talked too much" and yet she talks all the time. Yet, it's okay for her to talk all the time.