I don't want a lover, I just need a friend

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musicboxforever
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06 Jul 2010, 7:06 am

As the Texas song goes: "I don't want a lover, I just need a friend."

Actually I've been thinking lately that I would like to have just a friend, rather than anything romantic. Just someone to spend time with. I have a friend that was at a wedding with me and some of our other friends and because we don't have a partner we didn't dance. Our friends tried to get us to dance, but he's really shy and frankly can't dance to save himself, so we just sat and watched. And it was nice just to have someone with me. But he's not someone I see very often. I don't think we would be right for each other romantically. Mostly because he's so quiet I dont really know much about him. I try and invite him places, but he doesn't turn up. I think he just doesn't like to step outside of his comfort zone. But I would like to be friends with him without him thinking I want anything more, because I'm sure he isnt' interested in me like that and I think he likes this other girl we know. She's really sweet, I with he'd pluck up the courage to actually ask her out. But he's just shy around everyone except his best mates.

I'm sorry, I'm now rambling. What I mean is that alot of people in the love and dating section say that they have friends of the opposite sex, but can't get a girlfriend/boyfriend. People only see them as "just a friend." My problem is I can't get a nice platonic friend. It's not like anyone is interested in me romantically either, so you would think I could develop a platonic relationship, but I can't. Anyone else in the same boat?



marshall
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06 Jul 2010, 3:59 pm

I'm the same way. I think I'd like to have close female friend but then I get self-conscious because people on the outside might think it's a romantic "date" when it's not.



musicboxforever
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07 Jul 2010, 7:37 am

Ah, yes, that is the problem. I get self-conscious too. And then the guy gets self conscious and then people start to ask, "so is this your boyfriend." And then if he's married his wife gets jealous. So many complications...



chessimprov
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10 Jul 2010, 4:25 am

I understand the feeling musicbox. Look for outside clubs that fit your interests and then maybe you'll be lucky enough to match up with someone enough slowly on the right level for friendship. Sometimes, friends are much easier made naturally if you can get a full time job. Someone will appreciate what you do enough to obtain your companionship most likely.