Playing the villain again and again

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I just argued with someone, again. I asked her : "could you explain me the logic of this behaviour ?" I was honnest and quiet. I didn't want to attack her at all. I even made efforts to avoid that she got this feeling. But I didn't success. At all.
I'm a bit upset now. I try more and more to make my attitude better but that doesn't work at all. Why do people feel bad and think I'm a close-minded nasty girl when I'd just like them to tell me about their vision of life ? It's not just a body language challenge, it happens as well on Facebook or else.
I'm sorry if this topic isn't very interesting...

My boyfriend tried to explain it to me since he has major experience with NT. Basically people don't like thinking about why they do things. People usually aren't logical and so they see any question that questions them as a personal matter and so they get defensive. I have to stop myself a lot of times and realize that there are only certain people who are willing to sit there and elaborate on my "odd and sometimes rude" questions. In a sense Facebook would be a great place to practice. Read what you wrote and think about whether this person in particular would find it offensive. That's what I always do. It is hit/miss sometimes though. You will usually know if they don't respond.