Phone Things

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Why do people wait several rings before answering, when they have the phone in their hands from the get go?

Why do some people pretend not to know who's calling, even though most phones have caller ID things now?

Answering your phone saying 'Hello?' in a questioning manner is just the standard way to answer your phone, regardless of whether or not you know who the caller is. I don't think it's the same as pretending not to know who it is, it just um makes answering your phone less awkward or something I guess

My dad used to make me wait until the second ring but I'm not sure why. Sometimes if I answer right away and it's a hang up or a wrong number I wish I'd just waited a second. Come to think of it I used to get lots of hang ups...huh. Wonder what that's about.

The caller ID thing is weird to me, too. I have no idea why people do that.

For me, it's generally anxiety. Unexpected phone calls (or unexpected contact in general) tends to send me into panic mode, and I need to take a moment to right myself and decide whether or not I want to answer it. It's my understanding, though, that most people do this because they don't want to seem overeager or over-available (if that makes sense).



I suspect it's just culturally ingrained in us. You answer the phone with "Hello?" as though you don't know who's calling. It's just what you do. Everyone expects it. If some guy named John was calling you, and you answered straight away with "Hey, John," it would almost certainly throw him off.

I answer phones like this... Unless it's a formal call from someone I don't know well. Maybe it's just me though. huh. Never thought about that.

I do this with people I'm familiar with, too. My grandmother always answers the phone with something like "Hello, my sweet little dumpling!" because she saw it was me on the caller ID.

I've never understood the "wait for it to ring until the noise drive you insane" thing. I always answer the phone as soon as possible. Recently, I answered a call from my boss during the first ring. He asked if I were expecting a call, to answer in such hurry. If other NTs think like my boss, Kaybee is probably right.


As for answering with "Hello", I'm used to it since the time when phones didn't show the caller ID. It's automatic for me.

I always wait until the second ring. Especially at work, but I do it at home as well. It's to avoid things like hang-ups and such. Plus, when I am calling someone, I will take the time while the phone rings to compose my thoughts. I used to forget what I was going to say as soon as the person picked up the phone, which was very frustrating. I think a lot of people use that time to compose their thoughts, even if it's not for the same reason as I do. So I give them a ring to do it.

And I've always just said "Hello?" when answering. The only person I don't do that with is my boyfriend. My mom always asks if I have her number in my cell though, thinking I'd deleted it because I don't like her or something.

Is this typical? I can't call someone without going over what I want to say a couple of times beforehand. ...and considering what they might say in response, and how I should respond to that. I suspect this is why I panic at a ringing phone. I am caught unprepared. I tend to freeze up entirely when put on the spot.

I'm not sure how typical it is. I just know that if I don't actively think about it through the ringing, I will lose all concentration. I'm sure most people don't have the same problem, but most people need at least a second or two to compose their thoughts on anything, anyway. I go over what I need to say, and now the other person will respond before I ever pick up the phone too.. I just have to do it again, condensed, as the phone is ringing.

1. People wait a few rings to avoid looking desperate for a phone call. It's a part of looking "cool". And I think it gives the caller a chance to "prepare" to talk. If that makes sense.

2. One phone number can serve a household of many people. Also, again with the not looking creepy and overly-eager. Though once you get used to that number calling and you know the person well for a while, people stop pretending they don't know who's calling. At that point, it would look stupid and obvious that they're trying to look "busy".

It's just more "right", I suppose. If my friend Cheyenne calls me, I say "Hello" not "Hey Cheyenne!" It would be odd to me if a friend answered "Hey Guitar Girl!"

For a lot of NTs (and I learned to do this), they don't want you to know they had the phone in their hand, like they were waiting for your call. They se it as coming across as desperate/needy.

The main reason I don't answer immediately if my phone rings in my hand is that it takes a few seconds to pick it up after I drop/throw it. It's funny cause it's true! Scares the crap out me every time it happens.

As for acting like I don't know who's calling: I'm not sure why, since it is a smart phone, but mine displays the caller's name only if they are on my contact list. If it is someone I know, I often do answer, "Hi, Jim," (or whomever). I think the standard "Hello?" is, functionally, a condensed way of saying, "Hello. How may I help you?," or, "Hello. What do you want?" The first would be overly formal for answering a home phone, while the second would be perceived as too blunt.

My phone is usually turned off and I'm afraid to talk to anyone...

I hate answering the phone and try to avoid it. Especially the annoying and persistent ringing.