Dealing with a friend getting married
For the past two years, I have known a friend who has dated a wonderful gentleman with a great personality who treats her friends with respect and I like him a lot. I have also been close to this girl friend for the last 5 years and she means the world to me. However, I have had a really hard time ever since that they got engaged and for the last 8 months, they have done nothing but do things around the wedding. As happy as I am for this friend who deserves prince charming, I have really felt left out. I am still single and I feel and I don't know what it is like to be with the significant other as I have never had a guy on my arms. Anyway, I feel like because they are really busy for this wedding that she really doesn't have time for me anymore. For instance, I recently moved into my own place about a year ago and had a house warming party and asked her to come over and help me set up. However, she went to look at wedding gowns that day and picked one out and had some other issues going on. So, they happened to come later and then left abruptly because her fiancee wanted to leave and get some other stuff done such as pay her father back for the gown.
I feel like all she does if talk about that stupid wedding and in some way or another I feel left out. I also have been feel like she is more interested in her fiancee than she is in her own friends which includes myself. For instance, it was my birthday yesterday, and my friend had a bride's maid luncheon for us and it was really nice and we each got nice little gift for the event and for keep sake. However, I was a little upset and jealous because the whole event seemed to revolve around her and anything that dealt with the wedding and no one got me any cards or gifts or wished me happy birthday and so I was upset.
I just feel like every time we get together that I seem to be getting mad at her because I feel like she is less interested in me than she used to be ever since she has met the right one.
Has anyone else felt the same way?
Somewhat had a similar situation with an old friend from college but afterwards I came to find that she was really messed up and had a lot of issues, same w/ her ex fiancee.
Anyway I know you're mad at her but it's typical for people to forget about everything else and get obsessed with planning their weddings and ensuring that they're perfect. In fact, if she starts getting nasty when it comes close to wedding day, dont let that surprise you either. No one is spared from the onslaught of Bridezilla!
As for the luncheon. How close are you really to this friend who is getting married? How close are you to the people that were at the luncheon? If you're not as close to these people and are just a general friend/associate then it shouldnt come off as surprising that your birthday was a bit ignored. Besides, it wasnt your birthday party...it was her bridal luncheon and most of the guests at that luncheon were associated with her, not you. Thus the center of the attention is going to be on her regardless.
It could've been worse though. I once attended a Halloween party that was right on my birthday. I didnt care that it was my birthday, I was just excited to make friends at the new school I was going to. But the girl who was getting all snippy with me when I told it was birthday (as a general conversation starter) and she said to me "dont expect to get presents or anything". Some people, I swear.
I feel like all she does if talk about that stupid wedding and in some way or another I feel left out. I also have been feel like she is more interested in her fiancee than she is in her own friends which includes myself. For instance, it was my birthday yesterday, and my friend had a bride's maid luncheon for us and it was really nice and we each got nice little gift for the event and for keep sake. However, I was a little upset and jealous because the whole event seemed to revolve around her and anything that dealt with the wedding and no one got me any cards or gifts or wished me happy birthday and so I was upset.
I just feel like every time we get together that I seem to be getting mad at her because I feel like she is less interested in me than she used to be ever since she has met the right one.
Has anyone else felt the same way?
The excitement of marriage does that to people. They unintentionally get a little self-centered because of their excitement. And she and her friends probably subconsciously figured that you have a birthday every year, but you only get married once. Don't take it personally.
Oh, and STRESS of getting everything done before the wedding...people are running around, dress shopping, getting every little detail perfect for the huge event, etc.
But she had a luncheon and a gift for you, so she did make SOME effort to think of you, but you can't blame her. It's just the nature of the weddings and the preparation, etc.
I personally get sick of hanging out with friends who are about to get married, because that's all they ever seem to talk about.
I can understand how you would be upset about no one wishing you happy birthday. I myself am quite horrible with dates and usually only remember the month it falls in, and towards the beginning, middle, or end, with the exception of close family.
Some women have a dream in life to have a perfect wedding and as the wedding nears they become absolutely obsessive about it. If they've been planning this wedding for so long, it sounds like it's going to be a very big affair, so I can understand how she would be consumed by it.
But don't worry. Let her have her perfect wedding. It and the honeymoon will be over soon and she will then resume being her normal self.
I did talk to a few other women who have been married for a while and they told me that when someone like my friend gets enaged, everything else that seems less important gets put on hold. From what I understand, she is super busy making sure that everything is in place so that it will be nice for the wedding day. However, I am the most concerned about blowing up at her for snapping at me just because she might have wedding jitters since I have a bad temper and I get upset easily if someone snaps at me when stressed out like that even if I say something normal that is an offense to her.
How should I approach the situation if she decides to act catty with me if she happens to be stressed out so that I don't have a melt down with her and that I don't end up blowing up and shouting at the top on my lungs and saying something like, "Shut the F&^%$# up you B*&^%$?
