Mothering

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This came to my head which touchs upon another topic on this board. Someone else brought up the issue mostly pertaining to AS females where other girls will often take you under there wing and mother you. This is something for me that many girls have done with me throughout the years. I took comfort in that at the time due to my naiveity and my emotional insecurity. Now Im reaching a time in my life where Im done with being the "child". If Im gonna be friends with other girls, I want to be on equal basis with, I dont want to be mothered anymore. I used to practically put myself in an open invitation for other girls to want to take care of me. I defiently dont want that anymore. I know some girls that could potentially do it if they wanted to and if I placed myself in that position. But Im not allowing that. Is there anyone else that feels this way? This mostly applies to aspie girls, but if your an aspie guy that has experianced "mothering" by peers feel free to respond.

My curiosity: Did you mean to say "defiantly don't" or "definitely don't"?

Either way, maybe you can now do for others as has been done for you?

I love you avatar princess. Where did you get it?

As a guy, I have never experienced this mothering. Though if I may suggest something from my complete lack of experience...perhaps a change in perspective might help? Friends do often help each other out without a mothering relationship being involved. Looking for things you can do to help others out might also 'balance the scales' a little.

I've experienced this, and although these people have good intentions I don't need or want to be mothered by anyone besides my actual mother. I'd rather be considered an equal.

I don't mind being mothered. It makes me feel loved.

ALL THE TIME, Before college. My situation was just like yours.

After high school, it somehow struck me that my friendships with these girls are just not doing fair both to them and to me.

They didn't know but they were just like a babysitter back then. I still think our friendships are real, just in the wrong form. But there are real downsides in this kind of relationships, because sometimes my friends tend to be over protective; and you'll hardly mature up when there's always someone taking care of your problem.

anyway, it's just not a balanced relationship.

(Weird thing is that I even feel like losing a parent when they get a boyfriend.)

So in college I tried not to depend on friends that much, even at the expense of being alone sometime. And I learn the ability to spot that quality/tendency of taking care of me in people so as not to mess up the boundaries again.