Different ways of language?

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What are the differences between the way people with AS use language commpared to NT's?

We use it for problem solving - i.e. exchanging information. We also would like to relate to others by through exchange of novel intersting information that is adds to us in some way, and not deal with things we don't like. We tend to be one sided conversationalists in that we are looking for information that adds to our body of knowledge and benefits our growth, and this can seem like we are using people or are lacking in empathy because we do not use language (on average) to effect the emotions of others.

The big thing about AS is that we don't have a really good working filter of how what we say will effect people emotionally. We tend not to use language to communicate our emotions to find shared feelings with others.

Most people if you notice, always have some emotional component to the things they talk about and it sometimes it can be subtle, just the tone of voice is communicating emotions both ones we are consciously aware of and unconscious emotion we can't recognize.

Some of us can learn to use language differently but the communication method is still a bit different than that of NT's and mostly requires focus because it's not inbuilt but learned.

You mean people with AS talk about themselves all the time and never compliment other people?

No, people with AS have difficulty seeing (sometimes, most-times) social norms (cues, non-verbal communication etc) without being told and also seeing that someone else isn't interested in their special interest is a difficulty.

The special interest can be so interesting to us that it is difficult to realise that other people have little or no interest in it. Also, people outside the Spectrum can (many times) feign interest to be polite but due to us misunderstanding this, we can speak at lenght boring the other person without meaning to.

Some of us can learn to note the subject change cues, some of us can't. Some of us say things in a painfully blunt manner because we don't know that it could hurt the other person. Many communication difficulties rise from this, mostly because NT's usually can't believe someone wouldn't realise they spoke in a hurtful manner and don't explain the mistake (to help the AS person learn).

I will tell someone when they do something nice/nicely but it may not come out right, I may say it wrongly (and be misunderstood) or have my tone wrong (and be misunderstood).

In addition, most communication by the verbal amongst us is purely verbal (both hearing others and speaking to others), unless otherwise learned (when possible).

I've learned a lot but still I communicate differently, my viewpoints and perceptions of situations will always be different. Sometimes they are supprising to others, sometimes it can be so different that it makes a person feel I'm odd in some way.

Well it not rocket science to sense that someone is not engaged in a conversation or seeing how they are reacting such as having thier back turned to you, not responding or talking in regards to the conversation topic having a bored look on thier face. quite easy to pick up really.

To be fair sometimes I would painfully annoy and embarress my brother by saying something which would embaress him infront of my parents. i make sure not to do that nowadays.

Not everyone knows these things, there are many threads I have seen about people wondering why people just walked away from them. If you know these things innately, be happy because not everybody on the Spectrum does.

Bored look is a facial expression, ie body language. I thought face-blindness was common knowledge on WP. I mean, not everybody has it, but I thought everybody knew about it.

Bear in mind that you are you, others are others, we are not all the same despite some of the traits we may share.

About a turned back, for some this is a clear signal but for some it leads to confusion because they can't understand why.

About the not responding, turn taking in converstation is also a thing that some of us need to learn, so a person not responding would not make a difference to people who need to learn this.

Oh, just letting you know, your use of language could easily be viewed as insulting by those of us who had to learn (with varying difficulty) and didn't know all that stuff innately like you.

Oh sorry did I offend you? I did not mean to.

What i have got is kinda closely related to aspergers and autisim since its called 'semantic pragmantic language' disorder.

I guessed you didn't, that's why I said it.

All this stuff is complex and we all need to be patient with each other as we all have different levels of ability in various areas.

You have to understand that typical people have unconscious processes that interpret the emotional states of others so they know when someone is getting bored. They also have filters in their minds that to some extent are able to weigh the consequences of what they will say before hand depending on the person they are dealing with.

People with aspergers, tend to model all people based on rules or set of rules they develop, so they may treat different people with the same methods... not realizing that in social relationships this is not effective.

Consider a situation where you want to avoid emotionally upsetting someone who is in denial about something the AS person has strong opinions on.

Many typical people will avoid talking about certain subjects that are emotionally upsetting to their peers while an AS person will tend to want to express his opinion regardless of how it will effect the emotional social environment between people, thereby ruining the social experience... often because AS people are about "truth" (as far as they can perceive it) and honesty.