"What are you doing?"

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This question has always bothered me. My first thought is always what a stupid question that is - because a) I'm talking to the person who's asking it, and they know that, and b) if you answer truthfully, you're either being boring or weird or both.

I usually say "oh, nothing" because I don't like to multi-task (like talk on the phone while cooking dinner, for example) so I don't have an interesting answer to give. But "nothing" is a lie, of course. The whole conversation just irks me.

Anybody else hate that question? What meaningless social comment/question bugs you?

Sometimes seeing what someone is doing doesn't always tell you what they are doing. Does that make sense?

I don't like being asked what's up or how are you. I never really want to talk about what I am doing or how I really am if something pissed me off that day so I am in a bad mood. But guess what, it turns out the answers I was giving them is the answers they want to hear. They don't want to hear your life story.

"How are you?"

The correct answer is "Fine," even when you aren't. It always irritates me.

It always turns me grumpy - which I have to lie about when the next guy asks me how I am.

"What are you doing?"

Every time someone asks this, I have to restrain myself from launching on a rant about Aristotelean Formal and Ultimate causes and such, research on how bad people are at multitasking, and concurrency. I usually end up stammering something like "uh... stuff."

"How are you?"

I've been alive 26 years and this question still throws me. I know that there are a range of answers expected, each dependent on the context. But picking the level of informativeness in the response is still very difficult. I've discovered that people will accept the answer "fine" even if you have just been mauled by a grizzly bear and are visibly leaking internal organs.

"They keeping you busy?"

I feel exactly how Carlin did about this. My first thought is "who are "they"? Why do you think these people have any right to dictate me?" My second thought is "why would the state of my business concern you? What information does it provide if you find out I am busy or not?" My third thought, and the one I usually express, is "I don't know."

"Whatcha reading?"

Here, my brain actually begins to rotate in my skull while producing steam. The problem is use-mention. On the most basic level, I am reading a book. At the next level, I am reading a book about X. At the next level, I am reading a book about X which states opinion Y. At the next level, I am reading a book about X which states opinion Y using evidence Z.

Which level of information the other person expects can vary enormously. I usually default to a mid-level explanation which is certain to sound like a monologue on whatever subject the book is about.

"See any good movies?"

Default answer: "yes I have."

"F*cking [sports team], huh?"

I hear this as "I wish to start a conversation about sports. Your preference for which team is involved, will inform me whether you are to be treated as a vicarious enemy or ally."

My default answer: ignore it. Upon further attempts to start the conversation, "I hate sports, it's vicarious tribalistic primate dominance behaviour."

"They're in a better place now/at least they're not suffering anymore/it really makes you think" or any other type of consoling platitude

I am generally a big thumbs down on death. Statements minimizing it in highly simplistic and childishly ignorant ways, anger me. I know I am expected to reciprocate with meaningless syllables, but I am just unable to. My default answer is to engage the person in an argument over just what they meant, and thus alienate them.

"Doing anything tomorrow?/what are you doing later?/any plans for the weekend?"

I want to answer literally, and usually do. "Work and read like I always do. Why do you ask?"

ETA:

All of these exchanges in some way involve cached thoughts.

'Stuff' works as well as 'nothing', I suppose. At least it's more honest.



I forgot about this one, but it bothers me just as much. I don't know the generic "fine" answer for this one, so I also answer literally, so I end up feeling very uncomfortable in the conversation because I've somehow failed to give the correct answer. I have one acquaintance who asks me that twice a week. You'd think I'd learn...

If I'm asked "Whacha doing?" on the phone, I just assume the asker meant "What were you doing before I interrupted you?" Then, if it was something inconsequential, I just reply, "Oh, nothing much," and the person is usually satisfied.

Where I dislike the question is at home, when any movement on my part, like from the living room to the kitchen, prompts my girlfriend to ask "What are you doing?" The truth is, sometimes I don't KNOW what I'm doing, and I, for lack of a better term, 'putter around' the house. And even if I DO have a particular objective, like to check the thermostat or something, I'd still like to have the freedom to move about my own domicile without having to explain to someone else's satisfaction my motivation for every action. Of course, any attempt to try and explain this kind of thinking just ends up making ME look like the unreasonable one.

Ok, so I usually try to find intentions of the person in this.
If they might want to invite me to something (on the off chance) I will say nothing much, you?
(Oh, and I can usually tell this if they were talking excitedly about some social event earlier.)
Mind you, this doesn't usually happen a lot (it did when I was younger), so I don't really use this reply.
I use this reply because it implies that I might want to know about what they were doing.

This really exemplifies what I am talking about here.

But if they are just saying it to be nice, I will say that I don't know, you?
Honestly, if they are doing it of "niceness" then I HATE that because I feel all excited, but then think about it and I realize that I probably won't hang out with them so I just say the truth, and pass them the conversational stick back.
This shows what I am talking about, they are "nice" for the purpose of looking nice. If I saw someone like that I would ask what is wrong specifically.

I try to pass the stick back in any conversation because it helps them
*talk about themselves, which people love
*not focus on me, talking about stuff I don't want to
*not focus on me again as I nonchalantly zone out and agree and say cool as I listen for key words

Which my mist unfavorite question is: Are you ok?
If I look tired: I am probably tired...then you ask: Are you tired? I say either yes or no, and we go on (since we don't what to assume).
Same with anything else.
I am REALLy blunt with these things, which may get me in trouble sometimes, but I like the specifics because they actually HELP with the problem.
Like if I am tired, and the person in front of me has a question about the homework, they could ask someone else and that would be helpful because they know I am tired and probably trying to sleep.

And anything in life that is really unspecific and unhelpful, because it is a waste of breath.
Sometimes it is fun just to mess with them and give them a REALLY detailed answer, and see who they react.
They react usually by saying:
*Oh, that's cool (Oh, I spaced out, whatdya say)
*Oh, I like running or drawing... [something I talk about a lo]t (Oh, I was paying attention DEFINITELY I got a few words, and that means I got the message)
*a detailed response (I am ACTUALLY nice, I payed attention)
Type 3 people are the best!

Then, after that test, you can save breath by classifying them.
If they are type 1 people, only give generic answers, they don't really care, completely for social graces
If they are type 2, mention some stuff, but don't go in too deep, they are surface-level nice people
If they are type 3, try and be friends because they are cool

Oh, and don't classify too quickly, do a few tests, theeeeeeeeen classify.

Since I am rarely seen in public without a book in front of my face, I get "Whatcha reading?" a lot, and I'm still not sure what the right answer is. Showing the cover and stating the title is usually ineffective, and adding a general description still leaves people staring. So I revert to my instinct, an in-depth summary, which ends in the person walking away thinking that I'm weird.

yes i hate this f*****g question. i just wanna say im living my life and making the best of it. and as long as im happy/satisfied or distracted enough to believe im happy/satisfied then its fine. and no im not extroverted, im not a social back stabber, im not you, and i also know that unless i bring up some answer like "dude im dating this girl after ditching my previous girl of a month because she was a psycho hose beast and we just got together for some fwbs anyways and i watched baseball at bw3s drinking and then texting while driving while listening to wiz khalifa and pretending to be someone im not just to please everyone else. and i saw a funny movie because everyone else told me to go see it even though it was beyond f*****g stupid but i laughed like the dumb little b***h i am and also i tried to get some weed but my dealer was out so i went home jerked off and played nba 2011 til 3am and got up and went to ihop for some pancakes with my girl and then we texted our friends about our crazy ass weekend for hours on end and then we had sex and then i played the lonely island song "i just had sex" for the twentieth time this month. and oh yeah i went to chipotle because if i dont go to chipotle at least once a f*****g week, i'll be a little f*****g weirdo or something. so yeah my life is awesomely full of BS. thanks for asking. same story next week. thanks for the rant.