We're friends?!

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I didn't even know we were friends until last year she told me that we were practically sisters! I've known her for three years, we talk to each other, we laugh together, we go to the same school, except, I can't 'predict' her and I don't 'know' her. Whenever I buy her a little gift it's always rose related because her middle name is Rose and she likes rose quartz. She says I'm down-to-earth (I don't really know what that means) and I don't know what she is.
I'm glad we're friends though, I just wish it wasn't difficult for me to realize when I'm friends with someone instead of just acquaintances or strangers.

Does anyone have a little trick to see who's their friend and who isn't?

I'm slightly tired of being called unfriendly by classmates who say that 'We were friends but then you stopped talking to me!'
I just have trouble with thinking that other people are complete people. I have to tell myself that the hundreds of people that I pass by on a regular basis have background, emotions, preferences, families, boyfriends, girlfriends... I'm compartmental and the same person could be someone I absolutely detest in one area but someone I'm fond of in another.

Every time I ask a random, or not so random, classmate what a friend is, they always say 'It's just someone you talk to' and if that was the bare minimum of a friend I must have a lot of them.

1. I like your paradox-esque username. Oxymorons are interesting.
2. I have a similar issue. I consider two girls at my school friends and two girls friendly acquaintances who are potential friends. Both of these girls consider me their friends. What is the definition of friend?

Seems that a lot of Aspies qualify friends. I've done it for a while. I was talking with a coworker and casually said I don't have any friends. She objected saying she was my friend. I corrected her and pointed out that we don't talk outside of work, we don't text, do lunch or go shopping together.

So, that's my definition of a friend - someone you're comfortable hanging out with in a variety of situations. Given that definition, I don't have any friends - unless you count my husband.

There have been a few times when I've stated that they're not my friend and they have gotten offended as they thought otherwise.

I think I can understand when I am friends with someone - it's someone I talk to, few people really talk to me so if someone does it's generally a good sign and if I am comfortable talking to them it normally works out that they become friends.

I struggle understanding how people can just hang-out with friends, something not planned like just popping round to each others houses, but I think it's a safe bet that if you can hang-out with a person and they are moved to spend time with you or meet-up with you then they are a friend....it's just a struggle trying to keep that contact in order to maintain friendships.

I have a very high standard when it comes to what I think friends should be...but as an aspie I know I'll never achieve such friendships, if they even exist. So it's very difficult to know what friendships actually are and recognise them.

I'm the same as you when it comes to thinking of them as people.

Yeah I kinda have that problem where I have higher criteria for a friend then other people do. But remember every1 has different criteria for a friend. Someone can draw the line at someone they talk to while someone else can draw the line as some one who they've been close with for years. Like someone thats lifelong. For me I can have anywhere from 7 friends to 17 depending where I draw the line. It works better for my social life to not be strict with defining a friend because if I dont see them as a friend, Im less likely to talk to them. When I consider them a friend...theres a mental ease in communication. Yes Ive had people consider me a friend when I didnt consider them a friend. Like 1 of my current friends, we had only known each other for 3 weeks at the time and we still barely knew each other, he called me a friend. I didnt consider him a friend at the time, I thought what the heck...I really wanted to be friends with him anyways. I do of course consider him a friend without a doubt and we know each other a lot better now.
And my same friend, met someone 1 day, and came up to her later that day and asked if she wanted to be friends and I guess she said yes cause she got his # off of someone else and texted him that day. Im in college btw.

I only consider myself as having one or two friends. I'm sure that more people consider me their friend, but I see most of those people as acquaintances.

A couple of people have stopped talking to me because I told them I didn't consider them a friend. The one person I can honestly call a friend now was able to get past that. I don't necessarily think I'm picky, it's just difficult for me to feel close to most people.

Off Topic : I was watching Jin Roh a few days ago. Didn't finish it.. waiting for the sad ending.