When someone just doesn't take a "hint"

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I have a problem that is a huge annoyance.

I have this "friend", well he thinks he is my friend at least. Though I have never looked at him as such.

I used to be in the same class as him when I was still in high school, thus I couldn't really ignore him because that would make the school days very awkward.
Now I don't go to high school any more of course, and I still hung with him sometimes (just out of kindness), and made up excuses when I couldn't be bothered.
The problem is that we don't have anything in common and people tend to dislike him (including me) for obvious reasons I won't discuss here, thus being with him in my spare time isn't ideal.

I have decided to just stop being his "friend", but it turns out to be harder than expected. He calls here every day, and it is getting annoying. I kept saying "I am busy, call me another time", and thought he would get the hint after a few times, but no.
After that I made my brother tell a lie every time he called, such as "he is not here right now", but still he kept calling. Just now I hang up when he called right after he said "hello it's <name>", but then he just called again. I did that a few times, and he has stopped for now.
I have a feeling that he will call again tomorrow, and I just don't know what to say. I don't have the heart to say "dude, please stop calling me and leave me alone".
I could just not take the phone, but the problem is that he knows my home numbers. My house phone doesn't display what number is calling so I cannot see if it's him or something important.

I just don't get why this guy just won't get the hint. How he can be that stupid, that he doesn't understand when people don't want him around.

What should I do? I would very much like it to end up with that he thinks that I'm the "a**hole", and not him.

Anyone have any similar stories to share?

Last edited by proxybear on 08 May 2011, 7:49 am, edited 1 time in total.

I'm sorry, but what you have done is a heck of a lot ruder than asking him to leave you alone. I think its less of the case of not having the heart, and more of the case of not having the balls. If you cared about his feelings you wouldn't hang up on him. That's the rudest thing you can do.

You may as well just ask him to leave you alone and leave it at that. If it's too much of a problem, get your brother to say it.

Last edited by hale_bopp on 08 May 2011, 10:59 am, edited 1 time in total.

the only thing you can do ?, tell him the truth. Its cruel to keep making up excuses and keep him going like this.

Well, if you say "call another time", what do you expect? He's just doing what you asked him to do. If you don't want him to call, say so. For NT people such ways might work, but if he's on the spectrum (or just not great socially) he won't 'get' the hint.

It won't be easy to tell him, but you're actually making it worse by not doing it. He still thinks he's your friend and probably just thinks that you're really busy. He is actually trying to be a good person, but fails to do so.

If you don't want to hurt his feelings that much, phrase your reasons neutrally. Like "we don't have the same interests any more", "we have grown our own ways" and "it doesn't click any more". This is important because he might not understand why his friend suddenly doesn't want to talk to him. And then call you to ask why, thus annoying you. Explain what you expect from him ("I don't want you to contact me anymore") and let it be. If he calls again, state the same and that you don't want to go further with him. If you want to be bold, just say "I don't want you to call me" and then hang up. If you just hang up he might think the connection broke or wont understand what happened and thus try again.