She Drives me Crazy

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She's my friend of 4 years, but lately she's been driving me crazy, for a number of reasons. For starters, she's 2 years younger than me, yet she is very patronizing towards me. Second, she has a very childish opinion of friendship and needs constant attention. Third, she seems obsessed with certain things and I sort of get sick of hearing about it (LOL), probably because she lets them rule her life. Fourth, she's extremely bouncy and it annoys the heck out of me. Fifth, she's very insecure and when I'm around her it tends to rub off on me, making me feel like others are judging me. When I'm around more confident girls, I tend to feel that way too. Her desire to be popular only bolsters her insecurity. She also argues a LOT, just for the sake of arguing, and is really competitive.

It's gotten to the point where I avoid being around her because she brings me down without meaning to. I know she can't help it, but I've changed a lot lately and I'm sick and tired of her overbearing manners and need for attention. I don't know how to tell her; I'm not even sure why this is suddenly pissing me off.

The other day she had the unrelenting gall to say she was responsible for the changes in me? NEVER. My changes had nothing to do with her. I did them for me, because I want to be happier and more confident. But I guess deep down she cares. I just don't know if I'm being a bad friend by being annoyed by all this. My mother says I am. But I'm just not sure I'm getting much out of the friendship any more. I'd prefer to downgrade it while I get myself sorted out.

Are you sure this is a friendship to begin with? I mean it sort of seems like your more focused on her faults then anything else......and she is more focused on having an influence on you or competeing with you. I am certainly no expert on this topic but I guess to me it seems like you might want to think about why the two of you are friends to begin with and if it is really what you would classify as a healthy friendship.

I'm not sure how old you both are, but it sounds like you have probably started "growing up" while she is not, yet. Two years can make a huge difference when you are <20. Growing up, my brother was my best friend and we are also two years apart. One day he just started annoying me, and I didn't know why. He hadn't changed at all. If you feel better being around more confident girls, then by all means, spend some of your time with them. It won't be long before your friend changes too, and then you will both be in the same place again. Be patient...she can probably tell that you are changing too.