Being ignored, dismissed, and disrespected by other people.

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I realize that we can't control other people and we can't make others like us. That said, I have noticed that other people are very quick to dismiss me as a person. I have seen people talking to other people and although they were not friends with the other person and they did not socialize with each other they still talked and seemed to respect each other as two adults. By the way, I am in my early forties. I have begun to take a drama class and I am hoping that will help me come across in a more positive way to other people. Has anyone else experienced this and has anyone found ways to come across to other people in a way that garners respect as a person even if that person is not interested in pursuing a friendship with you?

You may be interested in this 1 min./47 sec. video by --> actress Tammy Klein:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eWnDPpfpLmM&[/youtube]
Tammy Klein is an Aspergian who tells about herself on --> Rethinking Autism

That my dream to control others like a real fascist would do because i am. For your respect thing i don't respect any that are from what a call the "Mass". That mean the majority and how they think and act or peoples that are just in my "blacklist". Thanks god my blacklist is huge

I have found this to be consistently true: To be respected, be respectable.

This takes more than just assuming an air of respectability, it means being moral, ethical, and showing justice and mercy toward others. It also means respecting them, and not whining or complaining when they ignore you, when they prefer the company of others, or when they do both.

People accept you for being you or they can go straight to hell. Ignorant and intolerant people like that are simply not worth knowing at all.

I have been ignored to my face,ignored by other aspies,forgotten about when chatting online and also by other aspies and I have done nothing but be helpful when these people needed help from me going out of my way to help and also bending over backwards to help people and yet I am treated like an insignificant person until they need more help or need something from me then I get asked and included and accepted until I am finished helping then I am dismissed as an irritant.

I find a lot of times people make such claims when in reality, they are failing to take the initiative to interact with others and assert their presence, and have unrealistic expectations concerning the ability of others to gauge boundaries. You don't wear a big sign that says "Come talk to me!"

Generally, NT's rely heavily on non-verbal body language to determine how to interact with another individual, and many people on the spectrum inadvertently communicate that they are not interested in interacting. They do this by keeping quite in the presence of conversations, or assuming a passive role. They are not "heard" or have what they say dismissed when they do speak because they may speak quietly, stammer, or state things in a way that communicate they are not very confident in what they say. NT's figure that if you are not confident in what you say, then why should they be?

Of the more outgoing people on the spectrum, frequently they will be dismissed because they state things out of context to which the person doesn't know how to reply, or they will appear to be talking to themselves when they do state things.

So it's okay for you to not accept people for who they are, but anyone else doing so is damned for all time...

Seems some people just click or they latch on to someone else for the sake of surviving until the survival isn't needed anymore.

If the original poster meant listen to reason, then I have no advice. They don't listen to reason.

No. "Respect as a person" is an instinctual group-identity thing that most NT's learn as children. If you don't give off the right body language, you won't get any. Trying to "fake" the right body language is often worse than not giving it off, because it identifies you as an infiltrator, rather than a mere outsider.

I so agree

Aspergers make us all unique.
Aspergers makes me, me.
Aspergers makes you, you.
I have Aspergers, you have Aspergers, we all have Aspergers.

I don't think that is contradictory. Intolerant people really aren't worth knowing. It is okay to be intolerant of "intolerant people". Also ignorance is to be avoided. I am ignorant of certain things but I try learn more about them. That would make me different than someone who chooses to stay ignorant.

However, it also means assuming an air of respectability. Being ignored and shunned are not being respected. Generally, people only whine or complain about being ignored and shunned after being consistently ignored and shunned, for a good long time.

Yes, I know all about the "geek social fallacies". And I'm not saying that anyone is owed friends, attention, or common human empathy. I'm just asking what you expect people to do when they don't get any?

I don't think that people owe me friendship. I just want to know how I can present myself to others in a way that does not make people think that they can take advantage of me or does not make them think I am half of a person who does not deserve to be treated as any other person would be treated. An NT relative once commented that it's easier for people to drop the politeness around me but had no answers for me. I am not referring to whether people like me or not. Plenty of people don't like each other but they don't dismiss each other as a person when their paths cross.