Would this be considered a friend?

Post Reply New Topic

I have not had a friend in years so I am very confused right now.
When do you refer to someone as a friend?

I am curious because I have met someone in class that I really connect with. We have been having some really good conversations.
She chose to sit next to me out of all the other people in class. She opened up to me and told me something that could be considered embarrassing.
She offered me a ride home. Having a conversation seems very easy.

I don't want to spoil a possible friendship by referring to this person as a friend.
Most NTs expect you to know that they are your friends without telling you.

Yes she sounds like a friend but don't put so much emphasis on labelling things, just carry on enjoying your conversations.

It depends on the person. Some people will describe you as their friend if you spend 5 minutes with them, others are more guarded. I think you can clearly conclude that this person likes spending time with you, and take that at face value without worrying about whether or not you should call them your friend. Probably they consider you their friend, but the name of things is not that important. What's important is that you enjoy spending time with them and they enjoy spending time with them, so relax and enjoy hanging out together

http://www-users.cs.york.ac.uk/~alistai ... nding.html

This is a good guide for discerning between true friends and hoax friends, hope it helps. It sounds like she could be a genuine friend in time but remain cautious of her intentions and motives.

Don't try to label her. You won't know who your friends are until you've gone through some serious problems, your friends are the one who are still there at the end. Just talk to her and be friendly to her, if you label her you might start having expectations that at some point she may not live up to.

If she doesn't like to be called your friend, than is she really your friend? A real friend will always remain your friend, even if you called him/her your friend 1000x a day.

I used to see everyone I met as either just an acquaintance, or as a best friend. I had to learn to develop a middle ground to allow my relationships with others to develop more slowly in my mind.

A general rule of thumb is to reserve referencing her as a friend until she uses the nomenclature to describe you as her friend, and even then you still don't have to use it. Instead you can refer to her as how you know for sure your relationship with her exists, like "this is my classmate," or simply, "This is [Name]. She and I have a class together."

Later, if you find she is still willing to spend time hanging out after the class has ended, you can still reference the relationship level that you know for sure exists. For example, "[Name] is someone I met in my class, and we enjoy hanging out on occasion to discuss [topics]."

Note: Make sure [topics] is something that she is okay with you mentioning publicly. Otherwise you can be non-specific and just say that you "discuss topics of interest" without going into details. If you are unsure, then keep it general rather than specific.

I have a friend that I now call a friend, but I've known her for a couple of years now and our interactions have grown from maybe seeing each other a couple times a year at social gatherings to us now meeting for dinner a couple time a month and chatting a lot online. I was very hesitant until she referred to me to someone else as, "my buddy." I still waited a while before I felt comfortable enough to refer to her as my friend, even though I have thought of her as a friend for a while, and she may have thought of us as friends even longer.

Err on the side of caution and just enjoy the time you do spend with her.