My neighbor upstairs, whom I don't know was rude to me?

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OK, so I am temporarily living with my mom for the next four months and there is a couple that lives upstairs. They have been living there for about a year or so now and my mom has told me that he says hello to her sometimes and mentioned that he seems like a nice/polite guy. So, I just think ok cool. I don't know his name and I we have never said hello to each other when we cross paths. We don't ever look at each other too, but I figure he is just shy/busy/not interested in knowing me (how I feel about him). Today I was in my yard letting my dog do his business. He is a smart dog and responds to me when I ask him if he went potty or if he wants a treat as a reward for going. So this "polite guy" upstairs happens to be on his balcony with his gf because they are leaving the house. He hears me talking to me dog and I actually hear him quietly say: "crazy f**k...blah blah blah talking to it." I am not even being paranoid. It was a situation where I know for sure he was referring to me as the crazy f**k. I called out a**hole decently loud. I am pretty sure he heard me, but didn't confront me at all. I was just really pissed off because I had it in my mind that he was a nice guy from my mom. Why is he nice to her, but a dick to me? Maybe he genuinely thinks I am crazy and didn't mean to be offensive? I am a little crazy or weird, but that is rude to say when I am able to hear it. He doesn't know me at all, so it is really frustrating that he said what he did. I am aware that I am too emotional, but that is part of my personality that I can't seem to change. I have been doing really well in college and things have been going well and this guy just put me in a bad mood. My mom and dad both say I should just ignore him and let it go and I know that to avoid trouble this is for the best...but sometimes it is hard to do. It will also be hard not to say something to him next time we cross paths. Not to seem racist at all...but the guy is black and his gf is this girl who has kids that aren't even his. For a while, I thought he might be some juvenile delinquent...which is why I was surprised when my mom mentioned that he was a nice guy. He sure didn't look like a nice guy from day 1 to me. Apparently, he is only a nice guy to certain people and a dick to others. Is it normal for NT's to say out loud that they think someone is crazy, without actually meaning to come off as antagonistic? I will never see this guy the same way again. I really need some advice as to what to do or say? I don't want to cause problems because my mom has to live near them for a long time, but if he says anything else...I might have to say something in defense of my own pride you know? Anyone on here have crappy neighbors who you have heard verbally target you before?

Generally when people say people are nice, they mean "he's a dick, but I'll say he's nice because occasionally he's not a dick." That's been my experience. You've sorta blown it imo, with your neighbor, you shoulda not just did anything. If you wanted to be defensive about it, instead of saying "a**hole!" you should have just said "What did you say?" Then you can actually have a bit of fun with him, as first off, he'll be at the very least, denying he said anything, or you'll make him apologize for what he did say, even if he won't repeat it. "What did you say?" is an open question. If he indeed didn't say anything, then he has no reason to be guilty or be defensive, and he'll repeat to you what he said. It could turn into a confrontation, but the good thing about it, by not cursing at him, there's nothing you actually did to escalate the situation.

As far as what you can do now, nothing really. Honestly, I'd hope it blows over. Now that you've kinda made an enemy, there's really nothing you can do. Just avoid him and hope it blows over, and that he doesn't do anything towards you that's negative. It could turn into constant harassment by him. You could also, really, just try to (slightly later) introduce yourself to him, and develop a rapport with him. It's much harder for people to say or do negative against people they "know" so really, as rough as this sounds, later on, see if you can befriend him to some degree. Other than that, nothing you can really do, except just don't escalate things.

At the same time, we all say what we believe in silence stuff about other people. It might not be something to take personally. I mean, I see a Hummer H2 while driving and go "wow, that guy must be an a**hole..." Maybe he is, maybe he isn't, I don't know, I obviously wouldn't say such a thing to the guy personally, but we all judge people like that and say stupid stuff.

As far as the "what'd you say?" thing, my neighbor was talking crap to me, not ghetto black people, but mid 20s white people I knew somewhat. They were on the 3rd floor, and were calling me gay and stuff, I asked them what they said, and they were like "nothing, nothing, dude." and I was like "no, you did say something, tell me what you said." And then they just again were like "nothing, nothing...sorry." They didn't say as much crap to me after that, just because I was assertive enough to call them on it. I still tried to be as friendly as I always was to them, but I still "called them out" and this translates to assertiveness, I think.

One last thing you can do, my "general" eye contact still sucks, but I've learned that when people are pissing me off, to look them directly in the eyes until they look away, I call it an "eye contact check." That can avert conflict just doing that, that and having a straight upright posture, with your back arched somewhat, translates to strength and confidence to people, so even if they think you're nuts, they're too afraid to call you out on it.

Well I kind of "sighed loudly" when I said a**hole. I didn't really yell out a**hole in an angry voice. It was more of a sigh that one makes when trying to tolerate a complete moron and letting out a sigh as a coping mechanism. He might not have even heard me, but if he did, I highly doubt he is going to confront me in a violent manner because we are neighbors and that would not only make me life more complicated...but it would also me his life more complicated as well...and he has children to take care of. I will just ignore him, only because I will be moving in with a good friend in the near future and my mom will be living here the rest of her life.

I would still like to hear more advice and other stories on the subject.

what if you just imagined that he said something about you......but in actual he hadnt ??

Most people are two-faced, and that is considered socially acceptable. It's a fact of life that I absolutely despise, but one I've decided is worth learning and living with (in most cases) in order to get along better with people. They will say one thing in their mind or in private, but then act and say completely different things in public to save face.

From the sounds of it, he probably didn't know that you could hear him and wouldn't have said it if he did know. He probably thought he was talking low enough for only his girlfriend to hear him. That by no means exonerates him for his behavior, but people tend to default to such behavior and think it's okay to say one thing about someone when they can't hear but then act a different way in person. Calling him out on it is a good self-defense tactic to take so long as you are prepared for the consequences of it. If he's not a bully, then he'll probably either avoid you as much as possible out of shame or apologize if he's truly an honorable man. If he's a bully and meant for you to hear it, then calling him out on it is considered an open invitation for more trouble. Hopefully he's at most just an inconsiderate jerk and not a bully.