Confronting peer

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Over the last few months, a peer who I had gone to school with in middle and high school opted to remove me from Facebook by not even telling me what was wrong. Long story short, I re-added them and they accepted. I went to send them a holiday letter but when I went to look them up, they had me blocked. Again, they did not talk to me first about why and what I they felt that way towards me or what I had done wrong.

Luckily, I have a second facebook page that I can log into and I was able to catch this person in the act by writing on someone else's wall who I am not friends with. This other person leaves their wall open to the public for everyone else to see. It turned out that this person who blocked me asked their friend "Do you have her as your friend? I have her blocked on mine." I found this last night as a matter of fact. So, I decided to copy what they said and send them a private message and explain to them that their behavior was unacceptable and that I was no longer interested in wanting them as a friend period. I also mentioned that they were never going to stop being a jerk. Do you think I was being unnecessary here? It was just that I felt like that this type of behavior was something that they would have pulled in middle and highschool and so I thought they knew better. Good grief, we are in out 30's now and they still treat other people like this.

Sometimes, silence is the best way to handle things. When you know someone is being a jerk and you don't want to associate yourself with them, just stop speaking to them. If they contact you, then bring it up. Otherwise, they just don't really care to begin with. Who needs that?

It seems odd to get confrontational with someone for blocking you on Facebook (and it's certainly not going to make them like you any better!) There is no rule that says you are owed an explanation whenever somebody doesn't care to interact with you on a social network.

If they have been talking with other people you know about you , then your private message is probably being discussed and made fun of right now on FB as evidence of how insufferable you are.

I have no problem with being blocked seriously. What made me angry is the fact that they can go around and brag about how they blocked me like that. As for them making fun of me, I really could care less. In my own mind, that type of behavior is a form of non malignant bullying and non direct bullying. What do you do with a bully? You push back by confronting them of their behaviors. That is exactly what I did with them. If they have a problem with me, they need to be direct in telling me what's wrong and not go around acting like that.

Dump them cold. Invest your time with people that are worthwhile. This type drama people just suck energy.

Lack of explanation means that they can't be straight about their actions. So why would they be in any other arena.

DramaBook(tm)

I don't waste my time with this person. It is just that I was more frazzled at their choices to boast about what they did and that is a problem.

Yeah, very immature. Why accept when you re-added them if they were just going to block again anyway? Did this person abuse drugs at all? =/

A quote from my self-defense class instructor:
"Strategy is ... knowing when to pick your battles and when to step aside and let the train pass vs standing on the tracks."

Coming in to attack a bully from the rear is not the wisest decision. Being the opponent that stands up for herself against a bully is one thing, but becoming the attacker is something completely different.

How do I confront a bully like that head on? I just caught what they said and decided to copy what they said and act on it.

You mean the difference in semantics between "head on" and what I described as "from the rear"? Let's see if I can properly explain my thinking process here.

To me, "head on" is when the person is actively confronting you directly, and then what you are engaged in is defensively covering and/or counter-attacking.

"From the rear" implies that the other person is actively moving away from you, or non malignant bullying as you described it above. When you engage in this manner, you are becoming the offensive attacker, and you are giving him another opportunity to counter-attack when he was previously moving away. Even if he highly deserves it, are you prepared to be the offensive attacker and put up with whatever counter-attack he may volley in your direction? If so, then more power to you and good luck, but I still highly caution against it, mostly because it sounds like he's able to get under your skin pretty easily. Bullies aren't known for being nice and playing fair.

Ask your self this, do you gain anything worthwhile by being right?

The person in question is an immature prick. Do something else?, use the time to find friend that treat you right?

Oh I hear you loud and clear. I don't have as much trouble making connections. What made me mad was the fact that they never learned to grow and change in the past 10 years, while I worked so hard to improve myself.

Then you outgrown them and need people that match you better.

I wouldn't have done anything. I have learned that some people plant the seed and then when the person reacts the seed blossoms. That person did something petty for whatever reason, but since you decided to be passive and look to find out the truth you look even worse and more untrustworthy. You probably should have just realized this and completely ignored the person. Not said a word.

Unfortunately, I learned this the hard way ...I had someone threaten me so i removed them....then things were okay...so i added them....then they said "you are crazy..." and told everyone that I was schizo