not knowing what to say

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What do you do when someone says something unexpected and you do not know how to respond or at least need a bit of time to process what the person has said? I am trying to think of how to handle this (it happens often enough to cause me discomfort). I'm trying to think of some gestures and stock phrases that might work, and I've come up with a few things but I have not been consistent with using them - the "time out" signal (forming a "T" with my hands), or saying, "Hold on a minute - I need a bit of time to process that." I am very interested in hearing more ideas for what to do in this situation, especially stock phrases that have worked really well for you. I am also interested in knowing what didn't work very well.
As an example, someone posted some really good advice to answer a nosey question with, "Why do you ask?" That's the kind of thing I'm looking for - stock phrases I can use in awkward conversations.

I would also like to know the answer

If someone asks an unexpected question I use "I dont know" a lot. When you respond with that most people will ask for clarification to continue to the conversation like "what do you mean you dont know?" or "how come?". Especially if the question, at least for most people, doesnt take much time to answer. It buys me time to think while they are responding. Ive learned through trial and error that not responding at all while trying to process what they said doesnt work very well. It seems like you didnt hear the question or maybe just ignoring the person.

Thanks, wanderinggrl. I've added, "I don't know," and "I don't know - I need a couple of minutes to think about that" to my list of phrases to try. I just thought of another one - if the person makes a statement (instead of a question) that takes me by suprise, I could say, "Wait a minute. Would you please repeat what you just said?"

Do any of you have any tips or tricks for remembering to say what you planned to say rather than automatically falling into old patterns? I suspect that role playing (i.e., behaviour rehearsal, not gaming) would be the best thing for this, but are there alternatives that are almost as good?

This isn't directly related to my original post, but has anyone here ever recorded some of their conversations? I know that this might be a creepy (and possibly illegal) thing to do without the other person's permission. I might ask someone I trust if I could record our conversation to listen for tone of voice (his/hers and mine) and the timing of the conversation. I recently saw myself on video (completely candid footage as I did not know that we were being filmed - I was part of a tour group and someone made a souvenir video for us) and I thought I moved my head in a strange way - I stood out as a bit odd, even to myself! This and some other recent events have made me realise that I am not always aware of how I move, sound, and look (especially facial expression). I've always suspected I'm a bit "different" but until quite recently I was not aware that I might be more than just a little bit different!

Well that came out of nowhere (if it's very surprising)

Well that was random! (if it's not related to anything that you have been discussing)

The Hell you say! (if it's somewhat shocking)

Wait, *really*? (if it's from out in left field)

I'm sorry, what? I didn't quite hear you, can you repeat that? (if it's none of the above and you need time)
For the above comment, you can also add "I was zoning out" or "I wasn't paying attention"

Or the typical, standard "Do WHAT?" You can use that for anything, even though it may not have anything to do with actually "doing" something.

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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com

I just simply say, "I'm thinking", or "I would have to think about that a bit before answering." Some people need longer to think and most people are respectful of that.