I just really need to get this out

Post Reply New Topic

So I just need to tell someone about my latest major social failure or else I'm just going to curl up and cry. I started law school back in the fall, and met a wonderful person. She was beautiful, and loved everything I loved. Problem is, she is gay. That didn't matter, because deep down i really just want to be her friend. Well, we became very close. I've shared more with her than anyone else in years. I really felt better hanging around her. She was my best friend, and she told me she felt the same way. We cried on each others shoulders, and listened when the other needed to vent. I felt like I didn't have to act NT around her. I always had a bit of a crush, but I kept it in perspective bc I knew she was gay. Well, I had a major setback in my love life with an online dating service. This left me feeling depressed and desperate. Shortly thereafter, me and my friend went out about a month ago, and I had too much to drink. She started flirting with a guy (just as a lark, she's gay), and I stupidly got jealous and made a bit of a scene. I was entirely at fault. It was a bad night, but I apologized the next day, and gave an even more heartfelt one the day after that. Things weren't the same with us afterward. And now, she has stopped talking to me altogether. This person, who was my best friend 20 days ago, now has cut me out of her life. It hurts bad. I don't need any advice, I know that I did everything wrong and I deserve this. I just needed to actually put this in writing, or else I was going to scream.

I've been cut out of a best friend's life for doing something stupid and so completely my fault. I feel your pain.

That really sucks. But you didn't do everything wrong. It sounds like you admitted you were in the wrong and tried to make amends. That's the right thing to do, whether it will get you your friend back or not.

Ya, as far as I can tell, she did the most wrong. I mean, being gay and then flirting with a guy...for what? Just to be a b***h? Sorry, but that would piss me off. "Hey, I really like talking to you, do you want to go out sometime?", "Oh, sorry, I'm gay! I was just f*cking with you!! haha" Anywho. Little pet peve of mine because I've had it happen to friends.

So do you think she's avoiding you because she really thought you were just friends and once she realized you felt differently she thought the best thing to do was break it off? Maybe just give her some space for a bit and see what happens. I guess thats all you can do.

I find this CS Lewis quote to be more and more true every passing day.

So she finally got back to me, basically saying that she had told me to give her space and then sharply to 'back off'. Mind you, I had to send her a kinda nasty text just to get a response. Honestly, I prefer her being outwardly angry, because prior to that she had been doing the NT 'passive aggressive' thing, which I don't understand and which makes me very frustrated and upset.

We are both law students, and this whole drama happened essentially over the end of semester and finals period. She has gone home to a town about 3hrs away, and she might transfer schools to go there to be closer to her family. Maybe my acting out was a response to the fear that I would lose her, because I knew that she was probably transferring and leaving me forever. At any rate, she did tell me that she 'just needed time' and that she would see me in the fall, but i suspect that was only neurotypical window dressing intended to soften the blow.

I ought to mention that, really, she was my only friend. I have other people I'll have fun with, and are acquaintances, but she was the only person on earth I could open up to completely. Now she's gone, and I'm sad