How do people decide to add eachother on facebook

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I know facebook is lame but every now and then I do some facebook stalking of my work colleagues and find out they're always adding eachother and I just wonder how it happens because I socialize with people at work but the conversation never leads to facebook. I never manage to get any kind of contact details for anyone... and no one asks for mine. So I just wonder what other people do differently that leads to them all getting buddied up on the internet.

It annoys me because it's always people that joined after me, so it's not an issue of time or me being the new guy... it seems people will join and become friends so fast while I've been there for years and no one wants to be my friend.

Same thing here. I just magically get left out of that weird buddying-system It just slips through without me noticing it.

I started at a new job a few months ago and my colleagues haven't done anything to "connect" with me in that way, so yesterday I took the initiative and friended them on facebook. My boss and one of the colleagues have accepted me now. Two more to go. I'm scared of the consequences tho. Do I have to start act different or say something about what I did? Do they now expect me to be more friendly, open, talkative or something? I don't discuss much of anything personal stuff at work and I'm very quiet most of the time (even about work-related stuff). But now it's done and there's no going back. Let's see what happens.

I guess it's a good thing anyway I don't really want to share anything personal with them, but it makes me wonder about what these people talk about.

I delete alot of people, or just give them a bunch of smart comments until they delete me. i make problems for myself on there, and need to stay away. most of the comments, pictures, and sayings I believe are dominantly narcissistic. maybe the healthy kind, I don't know. you have the "look at me syndrome", the "I have social dominance issues", some "I am going to do meth all day on facebook for four months straight and watch my I.Q. plummet", and the ones I love the most "here is somekind of farmville coupon, and I have this slot mainia addiction I want you to join so you can push a button, and watch things go dingdingding."

I'm on a mission on starting to understand people and trying to act somewhat normal, because I'm sick and tired of being out of everything. I want to work and be independent, but it's hard when I don't "belong" anywhere and I'm as good as dust in the corners to other people (at work etc.). That's why I have taken a step towards these co-workers. I try to keep down my weirdness on facebook as much as I can so I don't scare them away. I do think this is nasty and deceitful, but I have to do this in order to remain my self-respect and carry on with the work I love. I have to do much worse things to keep myself fit for normal work, so that a little lying, deluding and facebooking isn't so bad Now that I wrote all this, it doesn't sound worth it...

I don't think what you're doing is nasty or deceitful.

There's an NT/AS barrier and since you're the only one who knows its there you have to change your behavior if you want to mitigate the effects of this barrier. Not the same thing has being deceitful. And most people on facebook are projecting some kind of false personality anyway.

do what you must. you can ask them to be your facebook friend. just do one or two at a time. be casual. pick the ones who will probably not turn it down. and be careful what you say or do on there. human resources absolutely loves to look at your facebook stuff to see if you have drug problems, hate your job, have issues with bosses etc. they are very nosey.

Bojoing: It is not nasty or deceitful to be discrete. Just because you think a thing or do a thing does not mean you have to speak about what you think or do. I would highly advise you say only short, pleasant things on Facebook. If you want to friend me, go ahead. I say little, myself, though I do repost other posts I find interesting but not controversial. I like that FB lets me keep some track of my kids and friends.
Yournamehere: I believe you are correct and are giving good advice. I am ASTOUNDED at what some people will post on FB. I have to remind myself that all of us are stupid at least part of the time and some of us are stupid all of the time.

If you know their name, why not add them instead of waiting around?

My issue is that I comment on nearly everything I find interesting. It cost me a friend, because supposedly, her "boyfriend", who was really a married man she was fooling around with, was uncomfortable with me commenting a lot (she posted a lot of things I found interesting). He apparently thought I was commenting on her posts solely because she was the one who posted them, but I am like that with everybody who posts things I find witty or relevant to my special interests.