Social Interpreters

Post Reply New Topic

I have always been intimidated to place myself in social situations with my peers at my university and now have decided that perhaps I should have someone with me as a "social interpreter" to facilitate the navigation of social situations, such as study groups. There is one worker I talk to regularly who has offered to do this for me. The only hangup I have about that is that she's considerably older than my age group and so this would stand out a lot more than if it were someone more my age.

I'm just wondering, has anyone else ever brought a worker with them like that into a peer social situation? How did your peers respond to that? Is there anything I should keep in mind if I do this, any consequences, etc. I should be aware of?

Thanks.

I used to think a social interpreter was the most brilliant idea for aspies, but now I'm not so sure. Of course it's better than nothing, but it has the very big limitation that NTs aren't aware of their intuitive processes enough to be able to give us the insight we need on an intellectual level.

I think it'd take an unusually prepared person who had done a lot of unusual self-analysis and social analysis to translate their intuitive grasp into aware and verbalized knowledge. Such a person, if their services were to be used often enough, would cost a fortune and only very rich aspies would be able to afford them.

But I'd grab any form and amount of social interpretation anyone was willing to give me like a Godsend. Even if it meant the people around me found me weird for going around with someone older part of the time. So I'd burn those bridges probably, but I'd be learning a lot for my future.

Yeah, that's true. I think the difficulty in finding an effective social interpreter would depend on the social functioning ability of the person on the spectrum - the more aware the subject is, the more subtle nuances the interpreter would have to be able to explain, otherwise it wouldn't be useful at all. I wonder how difficult it is to train yourself to do this, though. When I went to a play therapist training session, the instructor said that an excellent therapist has to become an expert on their own relationships with people and then apply it to their practice with the client. Perhaps such minute awareness is a crucial element for any professional who is attempting to break down skills for their client - otherwise, I don't see how this can be done effectively without a conscious understanding (hence why people study psychology in the first place!).

This idea of social interpreters is becoming increasingly fascinating to me. It's pretty much incidental teaching without the added pressure on the subject to perform certain behaviours, meant to promote understanding only. It would be a pretty interesting type of support to research, considering the scarcity of resources I have found on it so far. If any of you have personal experiences with social interpreters or have some comments to offer on this topic, you are welcome to post here (and no, this is not for research purposes, heh).

Most NTs who are just regular people can be useful as a social interpreter. It's actually very common for an aspie to have a NT who they take aside as needed and ask "Hey, what's going on in this situation?" I think it just takes a little practice to talk to the NT in a way they will understand.

I think it works best if you start with someone you like who seems to be open toward you, then say something like "Hey <Friend>, I get confused in social situations sometimes, do you mind if I bounce a couple of things off of you? I'd like to get your input." Most people would be complimented if you did that, because then they'd get to be an authority, you know? You don't have to disclose that you're on the spectrum if you don't want to. It's really just as good to say "I'm shy and I misread social situations at times."

I really like this idea, but I'm a little surprised you'd be into something like this. I know you don't like to call attention to yourself or have yourself centered out as different, and in this kind of situation, there's a possibility that this may happen unintentionally. You'd have to choose someone very carefully who will not patronize you...and unfortunately, many people our age seem to be like that when they are confronted with a situation like this. I've also noticed that many parents or support workers who act as "social interpreters" with their kids/teens are very negative and are quick to embarrissingly point out errors, instead of picking their battles and focusing on what the person did well. You absolutely need to avoid someone like this. Someone who resembles someone our age, if not a mature person our age, would be a good fit.

I'm curious about what qualities you'd want from a social interpreter and how they would give you feedback. Would it be during the social situation at hand or afterwards? What kinds of feedback would be ideal for you? What would you like to see come out of the relationship with your interpreter?

I'd say in any case you should let them know what your greatest social differences are so that the interpreter can be prepared for these when you display them, so that they know that the messages you send may not necessarily be what you are trying to communicate to another person. When I first met you, I misinterpreted quite a lot of your communication towards me because I was unprepared for how logical, blunt and abrupt you tend to be, but now that I know you well, I realize that you're not meaning to be rude or make anyone feel uneasy. You need to be working with someone who understands and does not easily misinterpret this aspect of yourself...I'm thinking perhaps a grad student in the mentorship program who knows AS well.

I'm a social interpreter of sorts with the girls I mentor, since I can assess social situations well. When I'm with them and in situations where they are interacting with other people, I may add clarifying input for the other people involved or I'll reassess the situation afterwards with them. I often use incidental learning to discuss situations and their behaviour patterns, as well as give positive feedback when I can. So far, I haven't really heard of any peer mentors apart from myself, but it seems to work for me and the girls I support as I know they've learned a lot from me.

Two recent examples of my own social interpreting:

1) A. will often contribute an idea without knowing that the other person will not have background information on it, so she'll say "That's like what I did with S." and the other person does not know who S is...so I'll add something like "S. is A's friend that she knows from school". A. also has a strange sense of humour that not many people find funny, so I've been gently reminding her who is into and not into this humour...and that she's always can share it around me.

2) V. was texting an NT guy she liked. She'd invited him to a Halloween event at Wonderland, and after he told her he had plans that night with a friend, she was very disappointed. She was going to text back "So I guess you don't want to hang out then" or something along those lines that he would interpret as her being sulky and whiny. I told her how he would feel if she sent that and suggested that she write something that shows that it's not all about her: that she still appreciates him and cares about his life. So I suggested she write "That's okay, what are you guys getting up to?" because it shows she cares about him. I've been guiding her along and as a result, they have been having some good conversations.

Last edited by anneurysm on 18 Dec 2012, 5:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

at work I have someone like this, but in a social situation? I tried to get one, but it always ends up being a girl. then it looks like I want to be with her. e.g. I went to meetup.com group meetings and things kind of just died out. So I think I might have overstepped my questions or said something and it was too late for the person to save me from the awkward moment I created.

maybe just someone who is a friend, that is willing to join other groups of friends. but where... to get one.

The "having myself centered out as different" thing is complex - it depends on who I am with and what aspect of myself one is looking at. For example, with some "professionals" in the field, I like to act as a professional rather than as a person on the spectrum because a lot of them tend to be condescending to people with AS, I think mostly unintentionally. This also varies from situation to situation, and when I get stuck with people like that, I just have to be outspoken and fight for my rights. I've been disclosed to pretty much everyone now that I've been recently interviewed in a major local paper, anyway. There are also some aspects of me that are different from others which I don't feel are part of my identity, like my nationality, hence why I hide these things meticulously. However, my ASD is one part of me that is different and is at the core of my identity. Hence, I am not ashamed to share it. I try to keep other parts of myself as conventional as possible because I know that I have to blend in to a great extent in order to get more opportunities in my field. With peers in my class, I know that I am already perceived as different; I don't try to fake normal in class because there, I am focused on learning, not on my social image. I would have no problem bringing a worker with me and introducing her as my worker, as long as she's the one who discloses my disability and not me (I still have trouble saying the A-word, I don't entirely know why but I'm still working on it).

I feel that the worker I mentioned above is the only one who knows me well enough. She's been my mentor for several years and has been very respectful to me. I've never met an NT my age who has been respectful enough to allow me to trust them like that.

Drawing on what you said in your examples, I would say that I ideally would like something different than that. I don't know, maybe it wouldn't work in reality, but this is how I envision it. Instead of the interpreter speaking for me, I would like the interpreter to explain the situation for me when I'm confused (either when I say so, or based on my non-verbal cues, such as delayed reaction during a question or not enough information/too much information given in an answer) and then guide me toward what is appropriate to say in the situation. So, in your instance where A. did not mention relevant information, I would expect my social interpreter to say "tell them about S., they don't know who S. is". Yes, this would be real-time interpreting, sort of like ASL interpreting for the Deaf. I see the interpreter as not in any relationship with me, but just as a sort of an advocate/support worker, who would help me process interpersonal interactions in real-time.

Oh, and the students in the mentorship program are not allowed to do this kind of thing, apparently. It's a pity.

Need to get ready for work now, but I will respond to other posts in this thread and any new posts later.

I guess it depends on the specificity of the service that one is looking for. I don't feel like I can trust a random NT with something like this just because I am afraid that people might misinterpret social situations for me on purpose just to get some laughs out of it. Additionally, people may act nice even though they have ulterior motives in mind. People have done this to me in the past, which has made me quite mistrustful of people as a result. It's also a huge challenge on the NT's part to explain social situations in a way a person with AS would understand, because social nuances come so naturally to NTs that they often don't grasp how someone can be so literal and concrete to not be able to understand things like that; I've even met young professionals in the field of autism who still struggle with this. The shy thing would be the biggest lie in my case, lol, because I'm far from shy; I'm loud, outspoken, and annoying, while also being slow to process stuff and socially blind. I don't doubt that I could find a random NT who would be willing to do this, but, from my past experience, I think it would be difficult to find someone who could do this right.

Hmm, I'm not sure if I'm really grasping the problem there, in terms of what kind of questions you might have overstepped. I'm thinking that getting someone who's not a friend to do this might be a better idea because then the person has only one defined role and, by stating this role clearly, will alleviate the confusion among other people as to who that person really is.

I honestly don't think someone would take the time to socially interpret for someone else unless they were a friend. Otherwise why would they do it?

I know that girls can be catty or mean to girls on the spectrum, but not everyone is like this. I think it helps if you target someone who is a nerd or artsy or who doesn't fit in for some reason, but is NT. A person like that is more likely to be accepting of aspies and would be the most complimented to be consulted as a "social expert." I agree that a popular person may use it as an excuse to be a jerk/make fun of you. Not everyone would, but I agree that it's not worth the risk with some people.

I think people should try to make a social interpreter friend of their own gender if they're hetero, because then you'll be getting advice from someone who is interpreting things in the way you're supposed to understand the communication. For example, if you're a girl and another girl invites you to a party, a guy friend might tell you to go, but a girl will know that going depends on how well you know the girl and what kind of party it is.

I think this is a little different if you're gay or transgender because the gender roles/gender-based communication isn't as strong, so friends of either gender can probably interpret for you just fine.

maybe start a social interpreter group on meetup.com

Well, they could either be a mentor (do it for experience) or a worker (do it for money). I don't really have NT friends and I'm sure I'm not the only one who is in this position. I would only use this kind of thing for academics-related things that have a social component. I don't care about NT parties and such.

That's a good idea! I was also thinking of Craigslist, but that's kind of risky.

Thank you for clarifying...I have always been interested in this aspect of yourself but have been unsure which situations it really applied to. It really ties into your high amount of self-awareness in that you realize what aspects of yourself are potentially under your control and which ones you find it harder to alter or change.



I could see this working in reality: and this also gives me some information on how to modify my approaches with the girls I work with. In the example with A., I don't think that she herself realizes that this is an issue, and I want her to get in the habit of knowing when it is and correcting herself instead of me doing all the correcting for her. I think that in your case, maybe identifying when you are struggling to your mentor with a subtle non-verbal cue would work as well, like placing two fingers down on the table when you are struggling.

The reason I suggest this is that there could be some times when you are struggling to understand something but you may not overtly show it. Effective communication between you and your advocate is key during the scenarios where you are working together, and that means establishing how you'll communicate when you're having difficulty and hypothesizing what to do in different situations that may arise.

What I meant in terms of relationship is that in order for this to work effectively, I think that the person has to know you very well and know what you struggle with so that they will be able to identify when you are struggling in real-time situations. I think that personally, the mentor that you've known for several years may be the best fit for now as she knows you well enough in that she'd be able to understand what you are having trouble with and be able to clarify things in a way that you'd understand them. In contrast, someone with not that much experience with the way you think and the way you are may unintentionally patronize you or may not give you the information you need.

I think that this could be very helpful, especially with near-future technology.

Once Augmented Reality technology is widely available , it is conceivable that one could have programs that analyze situations on the fly and present probabilities of various interpretations of a given situation. This would also present an enormous programming challenge.

Alternatively, one could use the same technology to link with a human shadow who could offer discreet help.

This would probably run as a subscription service, although it occurs to me that the aspie/autie community could link together and essentially crowd-source social analyses.

This would also help us all gain greater ability, as we could individually gain great experience from being invisible outside help to each-other, while at the same time creating a massive open anonymous database, such as that for bug reports of Linux operating systems, that could conceivably help in the creation of the program of the earlier paragraph.

YES, I'd be all for this! I was thinking about this recently, too. Thanks for mentioning it here.