why are some people forgotten/ignored?

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why are some people taken advantage of by others and otherwise ignored/forgotten? popular people with lots of friends are really nice and generous. what are they doing to get myriads of people to like them and respect them?
what is the psychological/social "archetype" of someone who is repeatedly taken advantage of and disrespected by his/her peers?
sometimes i can't figure out what's so "wrong" with people i meet who are like this but for some reason that i can't put a finger on, they are usable.

Naivety, bad at recognizing cons, happy.
Probably autistic is useful.

Popular people are usually funny, rich, good-looking and most importantly confident.
Confidence is the easiest to do of all these.
Although I've used both confidence and humour as social tools the better part of my life, this doesn't seem to come naturally to others.
It's certainly kept people from bullying me.
Some even bullied people that were bothering me.
Feels good.

What I'd like to know is why some people feel like "because I can" is ample justification for taking advantage of someone.

At some level, I'm not sure people always realize when they are doing it. I say that as both a victim and a victimizer.

Usually if someone puts more links on my chain, as a dog I will stretch it as far as it goes. It's only in hindsight that I often realize i may have taken advantage of someone. It cost me the best job I ever had, but at the time I didn't realize what the progression was.

I wonder the same thing, sometimes.

I remember hearing the idea that for much of human history people lived in small communities. So, if you 'burned' someone, the whole community would come to know it, and you be punished (or banished or whatever). Nowadays, in the modern world anyway, people can get away with cheating and generally treating others badly, since it's easy to have no connection to them and to disappear into the woodwork and never see them again. We're all sort of 'disposable' people, in the sense of forming 'social contracts' with others; someone can break one, and it just doesn't matter.

OTOH, I can see downsides of small communities, where not fitting in can become a crime as bad as actually doing something wrong. (Glad I can survive without community approval, even though I do try to be fair and 'do the right thing.')

My guess is that people who are good at "reading" other people's behavior and then conforming to it - behaving much like their friends - have more success at fitting in and being treated with respect. People who cannot easily conform to the local mores will generally be singled out for attack.

As ursaminor mentioned, confidence is very important. If you come across with a level of confidence, people will respect you even if you have nothing to show for yourself. I often take evening walks in a neighborhood that many people think is unsafe. Although I have encountered people apparently sizing me up to see if I could easily be mugged, because I have learned to show little fear and to behave as if I know exactly what I am doing, I have never once even come close to being attacked in the 12 years I've lived here. My guess is that if you act confident, most people who would consider attacking you will figure you know something they don't and they will be likely to leave you alone.

Generally when I lack confidence in something, it shows and people get annoyed or uncomfortable with my lack of confidence. But I have also found I can tell outrageously absurd lies and be believed if I just say them with assurance. Most people seem perfectly happy to be led by anyone who is willing to lead. And they are willing to abuse those who don't have confidence in themselves.

that is why i can largely avoid people and not feel i am missing anything important.

Int his world, it's getting harder to avoid people

being a hermit 6 days a week enables me to do lots of people-avoiding.

He who pleases everyone is superficial.

I've noticed over the years that I've been ignored in most social situations, whether it be high school, or parties I go to as an adult. My mother used to tell me to be quiet all of the time, and I used to think she was a mean person, but as an adult I realize that she was basically being typical...just like everybody else. It never occurred to me when I was younger that my cheerful, artsy weird personality was different. I usually make it a point to ask others how they are doing, but the conversation - no matter how hard I try, dies. It bothers me a little, but i think it's important to have the right perspective. I recently stopped going to parties and hanging out with the same people I've been hanging out with for the past 5 years, b/c I'd rather stay home and read a book than hang out with people who do not want to talk to me simply b/c I don't drink and talk about sports and beer! It's liberating. They are all nice people, they just cannot relate to me, so I let it go. I also believe that when you have a 'different' personality, it's a great barometer for measuring if other people are friendship material for YOU! If I meet someone who can't seem to have a simple conversation with me, I assume we have nothing in common, and I stop wasting my time. Seems to me that people who fit in have all sorts of friends, from good friends, down the line to acquaintances. But they also have fake friends b/c they know how to relate to everybody. With me, I know where I stand with people all of the time.

Ignore me = You cannot relate to me = Not my friend. Simple!! See yah later!

Until I meet some people that I connect with who are willing to chit chat with me, I will not feel bad about who I am. I love my hobbies, (painting, line dancing, yoga, knitting, cycling) and I think my personality is just fine. I crack myself up all of the time, so I can't be that boring. hahahah. I believe that just because the masses cannot relate to your uniqueness doesn't mean there is something wrong with you. I go country line dancing every week, which is a fun activity that gets me out and about, while meeting lots of nice people. If you can't relate to common folk who want to stand around and drink, and talk about sports, it's because you are not COMMON. And that's ok. It's time to let it go and go do something that YOU think is fun.

I think it's best to keep the simple hellos and goodbyes for those who cannot relate to you, (b/c in turn, that's what they are doing with you!)

Aspies are easily forgotten/ignored because we do not stand out from the crowd that makes us worth keeping as a friend. Our lack of social skills and interest in people make us easily forgotten/ignored by most people. Nobody cares about the weird, silent person who stares and rarely talks.

I very much believe that the reason we're ignored/forgotten is that we "don't matter". In the sense that we have no influence. Our ideas won't be agreed to by anyone, our suggestions won't be found useful or followed by anyone, we will never rise to be someone in society (i.e. influential), we'll never have an effect on any leaders (i.e. influence their actions - at work, in a social group, etc).

Then we're quickly remembered and missed when all the important, influential friends betray them, but that's another story.