What personality traits put people at risk of being bullied?
I'm chronically bullied/ostracized. I agree with many people that being on the autism spectrum increases one's risk of being bullied/ostracized, but all over the world, Neurotypicals get bullied/ostracized too. What personality traits do bullies sniff out? (Some say that physically unattractive people tend to be ostracized, but this is a highly inaccurate stereotype. Many physically unattractive people are highly popular with peers.)
Here is a list:
http://bullying.about.com/od/Victims/a/ ... ullied.htm
Some of the things on the list are physical such as race, body type (fat/thin/short/tall), physical disability or generally any physical difference. Some are cultural- such as religion or sexual orientation (although sexual orientation is biological, the aversion to some orientations is cultural).
Here is what they say about personality type:
While the article does cite Mean Girls who bully somebody who is otherwise similar to them (and is popular) but is seen as a rival, the above quote is probably more relevent on WP. Just as a lion will attack a zebra that is on the fringes of a herd and therefore easier to catch, bullies will attack those on the fringes of the human herd. It's just easier to pounce on somebody who is already in a weakened condition (such as from anxiety or depression) or is not surrounded by allies who will counter-attack (such as with introverts).
The article also cites psychological differences including but not limited to autism. Autism makes you inherently on the fringes of the herd, even if of the extroverted type, and therefore not surrounded by allies.
Being surrounded by allies is the best defense against bullying that there is. It's even better than the tatctic sometimes discussed on WP of scaring the bully with some violent or disturbing counter-measure. Having allies makes the bully less likely to attack in the first place. But being surrounded by allies (being in the center of the herd) is unlikely to happen or even be desirable for a lot of posters here. However, being assertive is a possibility even if you are always alone. That is described by some posters too and is in this article. Bullies aren't looking for a fight. They are looking for an easy win. So being assertive is a good choice.
I personally never saw a correlation between physical attraction and bullying, especially at a young age where people aren't even fully developed.
Really, the only two things that could ever have a correlation to bullying are jealousy and xenophobia. Sometimes, attraction can be a source, if you have this early brick wall around your heart in your childhood.
The idea of making fun of someone for being different than "normal people" isn't new and it doesn't help that people are always misrepresented within the televised media but the jealousy thing is a whole other thing. Have you guys ever noticed that some bullies have no problem bullying who they don't know? Where is all that aggression coning from and why is it directed at you? It may be a way to deal with all the stuff happening at home. This is just my observation. When you are a kid, you may be more inclined to shut out or stick a middlefinger at the world, when you see mistreatment, are mistreated or were told it was the norm.
That is just my observation and opinion. What do you guys think?
I was bullied a lot and I think it was really because I was a skinny, glasses-wearing immigrant kid who was always alone. I was an easy target.
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[quote="icyfire4w5"]I'm chronically bullied/ostracized. I agree with many people that being on the autism spectrum increases one's risk of being bullied/ostracized, but all over the world, Neurotypicals get bullied/ostracized too. What personality traits do bullies sniff out? (Some say that physically unattractive people tend to be ostracized, but this is a highly inaccurate stereotype. Many physically unattractive people are highly popular with peers.)[/quote}
Nerds who have are antisocial
Outspoken people
Intelligent beings with high iqs
Anyone who does not appear to meet the norms of society's standards. These are called target groups. People on the spectrum meet that category.
Examples:
-I got bullied because I would rather talk about The Lion King and anything Disney rather than be and act like a teenager when entering Jr. High
-I got bullied by a so-called childhood friend where the roots in that relationship were poor to begin with when we both grew older. This was for being too skinny or for not acting my age.
-I lived near and aunt and uncle while staying with two roommates. My aunt and uncle never invited me over for dinner and treated me like a stranger out in public. They were scared that I was going to be a danger to my two younger cousins. This while my two roommates were bullies in terms of ageism and just not fitting the norms of an average 20 year old.
-I was ostracized by people because I was too hyper before.
-Mocked by my family for liking Leonardo DiCaprio, while it was okay for my sister to like "N'Sync" and "98 Degrees." (Power and privilege factor)
People who can bully you
1. People in your own family
2. Co-workers
3. Strangers who feel insecure about themselves
4. Neighbors
5.Boyfriends of friends, friends of friends, parents of friends
6. Teachers, professors, guidance counselors
You would be surprised who can be a bully.
OliveOilMom
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I would say, from my own experience at being bullied;
1. Not knowing or saying the appropriate things
2. Overreacting with extreme anxiety or fear to something that doesn't bother others
3. Not being allowed to do the same things other kids are allowed to do
4. Being dirty or smelling bad, having dirty hair
5. Having some kind of gross behavior or habit (I couldn't breathe through my nose so I chewed with my mouth open)
6. Overreacting in any sense
7. Not knowing about basic things that other kids know about, like sex or drugs
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A person who lacks self-confidence is an easy target because it's unlikely they'll know how to stand up for himself. These people are often easy to spot - simply by their body language. Body language says a lot about a person. Then it can be their voice (is it soft, timid, uncertain?) Next is their action. What will they do if I poke them? Nothing? Sucker. A bully has just met his new friend.
Another thing - social circle. Does this person have any friends or are they often walking around the hallways by him/herself?
Physical attributes mean nothing unless the unattractive person looks/feels uncomfortable in his/her skin. I've known unattractive men with pretty girlfriends. What they didn't lack was confidence. People like confidence.
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