Best way of telling someone you dislike them?

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Hi:
I was just wondering if there are polite and assertive ways of disclosing with someone that you do not like them?

I would rather be honest to someone's face than put on a mask give them things as to what they want to hear.

If I cannot be direct and saying, "I don't like you," then what do you recommend?

I think people give a series of clues:not looking in their direction while talking, not making eye contact,making dmsll jokes at their expense, avoiding being with that person in the same room alone.Basically small clues that give the impression that you don't enjoy their presence.

the only way to do it without non-verbal communication to tell them straight up.

you should never tell someone you don't like them. be polite, and nothing more. don't spend any time with them unless you have to. telling someone you don't like them is just being hurtful.

I was always told that it is better to be honest with the other person instead of being two-faced about it behind your back.

Yes, telling someone that you dislike them is hard for the person to hear but it's even harder for the communicator. So it is not easy. Then again, it is going to hurt because it's the truth. I would rather be open and honest than give off little hints like the first person was talking about. Plus the other person will most likely get over the fact if the situation is done right.

I seldom tell someone that I dislike them and just avoid the person all together but I find that you have to let them know how I feel about them. The only time I have said it is if the I don't feel respected by the other person or if they don't get the hint.

No, you do not have to tell someone if you don't like them. It's unnecessary, rude and will make people you DO like question your civility. If someone offends you or does something bad to you, by all means tell them so, then avoid them whenever possible. But just saying, "I don't like you, please don't talk to me," should be reserved for stalkers, salesmen and backstabbers.

It's rude, but aside from just not spending time with them, etc. (which I didn't even figure out for a while), you can also focus on the positive.

Instead of flat out "I don't like you" is there a personal quality you can point to? For instance, that they always talk about themselves. If that's it, foc us on wht they can do to improve, like this:

"You know, I think people would get a lot more enjoyment out of being around you if you let others talk or ask about their lives. Becauuse, you can be a fun person otherwise."

Now, if they have too many negative traits to nme you've got a problem and should just never spend time with them. But, I had an experience like this in high school and it went great.

I used to talk loud on the phone with friends - likely because they weren't there with me. One of my friends told me once that he noticed that and that I didn't have to talk as loud. He guessed it was because of my hearing problem (nicely dovetailing with my comment in another forum about my handicaps) and said it was just the one thing and not everything that he disliked, and it wasn't me but that trait.

So, yeah, just focus on the trait and not on the person. Because when you say you like/don't like someone you are talking about the whole person, which is why it's rude to say you don't like a person. And, even with a specific trait, focus on what they can do better and be positive. But, overall, just ignoring them works well, too.

I think it's hurtful to tell someone you don't like them, even in the most diplomatic and empathetic way. People take these things very personally and just because you don't like someone, it doesn't mean they're "bad" people - but that's how they will take it. People don't typically go out of their way to tell someone they don't like them. If they do, they're not very respectful people.

What can you do?
Be professional. If you have to have contact with this person, restrict conversation to the situation at hand. For example, if it's a coworker, limit conversation to work-related subjects. If it's a person in your circle of friends, respond in conversation but don't initiate them. If you're "stuck" with someone, find a quality in them you DO like and talk about that until it's time to go. If it's a family member, family is family - we don't get to choose them. Learn to work with them. If it's a neighbour - limit conversations to "hi/bye".. etc

It's not very tactful to directly say to someone "I don't like you"

People can see this as rude and offensive.

It's better just to have contact with them but only if a problem or matter concerns both of you.
Even then, I would only talk about the problem and try and work towards solving it quickly.

Then I would just leave it at that and move on

Yeah, not that kind of honest, though. If you pretend to like this person, e.g. start/continue conversations with them, invite them places, buy them things etc, that's being dishonest and two-faced. If you keep the contact professional and distant, don't encourage conversation with them etc (like others have said), this is being honest and letting them know you don't want to be around them. It's implying you don't like them without having to be blunt about it. It's called saving face and is incredibly important to do for all social interaction.

I learned the hard way that people don' like this. I still do not see how it is rude or disrespectful; being direct, honest = rude if you're not doing what most people consider socially normal or "good". If an NT person lashes out verbally when they feel insulted or rejected it's "venting". **barf** This and other similar situations are why I ignore most people.

Some people may not like being told that you like them. Why would people even like being told that they aren't liked.
Reasons not to tell a person you don't like them:
1. Already covered with "rude, disrespectful and lacks civility." There are many subtle cues that give off the hint that someone just doesn't like another person.
2. It's not very tactful at all to tell someone you don't like them.
3. If the person is insecure, being told that you don't like them could make the person question whether others like them either. Isolation could play a factor here.
4. This could lead you to feel isolated or alienated from your friends as well.

So if they were a backstabber, you would be happy saying " You are a manipulative, gossipping backstabber, and I am not interested in being your fodder"?

Just interested, cause I have a couple of people at work like this, that I've been sorely tempted to get honest with.

Basicly, I avoid talking with them and being around them at all costs. You can't fart without the rest of the workforce thinking yuve s**t yourself by the next tea break*

*That was metaphorical.

I am very careful as to who I have told what I think to someone. So far, I only said it to one person.

They happened to be one of those people with a huge ego with a controlling and arrogant personality. They also happened to say many tactless things to me more than once.

I gave this person a few chances and even tried to make it work but came the conclusion that I do not like them. This was because they seemed to approach me with this big phony attitude like they were trying to impress someone. They also happened to be the social click type with the big mouth.

For instance, one time they approached me in a public setting and whispered in my ear about suggesting that I need to wear special attire or the leader of the location would get upset.

I asked them if they had told them that personally. They admitted to saying no.

So this is the only person I said "I dislike you to"

Yeah, if someone openly betrays your trust and has no qualms about it, I'd say they lose the protection of social niceties and you can just tell him or her to f**k off.

If I didn't like someone, I would just talk to them less/avoid them. No need to be direct about it. But if you really wanted to say that, you could instead say what specifically about them bothers you, which is better than simply 'I don't like you'. Though avoiding them should be enough.

There is no good way to let someone know you don't like them. they will be offended reguardless of how you tell them
personally. I would conduct a disappearing act